Changing our image..

...one pound at a time.

That's what I hope to do in my family. Over the years, my family has slowly tacked on the pounds, like most Americans. Lots of greasy, fatty foods and no exercise.

I've been telling my brother that he was getting closer and closer to being obese, and a few weeks ago I ran his stats through a calculator online which told him that he was, yes, obese. Then, last week, he had a doctor's appointment and guess what?

That's right, the doctor told him the same thing, that he was now in the obese category and he needed to lose quite a bit of weight to be healthy again and avoid further medical problems.

My mother is overweight as well, but she's been talking about wanting to lose weight for a long time. So, last weekend we made a exercise room upstairs for everyone to use. (Now, although noise annoys me and that particular room is right above mine, I just remind myself that it's for their own good.) We gathered all the exercise elements that everyone had into one room for us all to use. We have a treadmill in there, a weight machine, a exercise bike, a pilates ball and an huge exercise ball, plus all of the DVDS and VHS' that we had. We'll be adding more, little by little, when we have the money. There's a really good AB machine that I want. It's one that has back support while I use it, which is really appealing because I have a really bad back.

On the food side of things, I am the primary grocery buyer in the house, and I realized that I wasn't helping matters at all with the food choices that I brought home. So, yesterday, I started myself a pretty cookbook, (with colored pages and pretty font,) of stuff that contains no chocolate and lots of healthy food. Chocolate is one of our biggest downfalls.

Starting on Tuesday, when I get groceries next, no more unhealthy foods are entering into our kitchen. And I will be cleaning out the unhealthy stuff tomorrow.

I just realized that I hadn't mentioned my weight or health yet, in my writings. (This computer is freezing up in the middle of every paragraph, kind of disrupts my train of thought with every opportunity. (Knock on wood...three thousand times!)

I started the year at a little less than 100 pounds. I know, I know, but I've been trying to GAIN weight for years, and it just wouldn't come. I had customers every week actually ask me if I was anorexic. Can you believe that?? I've always been below weight, no matter how much I ate and of what.

But, guess what? I am now at 116. Woot! Four more pounds to my goal, and then I will be happy. There is two downsides to that accomplishment, however. One, there's a good chance that if I don't start actually exercising, the weight gain won't stop. Two, the last month or two I've been finding clothes here and there that won't fit anymore.

So, last night, I went through every article of clothing in my closet and tried it all on. I ended up with two totes of stuff for the Salvation Army. I don't mind getting rid of stuff that I wasn't wearing to help those who don't have as much as I do, but almost ALL of my favorite stuff went into that pile. My black goth halter from Hot Topic, (I couldn't even get the thing zipped half way. The last time I wore it, I had to have help to get into it.), my favorite ripped blue jeans, and my slinky "vampiric" skirt that my ex bought me from an expensive store in the mall. I also had to get rid of all my short skirts except one. The "school girl" skirt I had, I couldn't even get past my hips, let alone zip it and wear in public. On second thought, that one's okay, because my ex loved that one and he just seemed to have an alarmingly increasing liking of young characteristics. And it wasn't designed for that sort of thing, it was decent.

So, enough mourning over the clothes I cannot wear anymore, I still have plenty to wear, and now the salvation army will have some more things to hand out. That's always the best part, knowing I am helping others. That's a total of TEN totes from my closet in the last month or so. That's crazy the amount of clothing that I had.

So, dear readers, enough about me, (I'm sure this is a book by now!). What are your thoughts on healthy eating? Do you have any favorite recipes or favorite food websites you would like to share?

Also, do you have any suggestions how to keep us all motivated to lose the weight and get healthy?

Is Yours Fulfilling?

Everywhere you look, people seem to have vastly different ideas what it means to have a 'rich' and 'fulfilled' life. From large houses and SUV's to having the latest gadgets. For many decades now, American's, (at least,) have been running the impossible race of keeping up with the Jones'.

And for what? Do large houses and fancy TV recorders really make you happier than if you didn't have those things? If they do, than more power to you. But if not, what are you really living for?

Or dying for? I've been thinking about that poor man in New York that got trampled at a Wal*Mart on Black Friday last week. He lost his life so that people could be the first to grab the best deals on cheap plastic crap.

Seriously. What are we doing to ourselves as a nation? We wonder why children are increasingly screaming, 'Gimme Gimme Gimme! I want THAT!' and then having temper tantrums when the parents tell them no. Many people have the same exact mind processes, and the children are just mimicking what they see and hear.

I think a happy and full life does not have to be a materialistic one. I don't care about having oodles of money and tons of electronic gizmo's cluttering my house. I don't need fancy bling and a shiny car.

I want the basics. Love and happiness. Peace and Harmony. I want someone that will hold me through good times and bad, and tell me that it's all going to be alright. I want a happy marriage and a little rugrat or two someday. I want my MaryKay business to be successful and help others feel better about themselves. I want my family to be healthy and happy, and my friends to have the lives that they want.

I am beginning to get on the right track to get these things. I am slowly disentangling myself from the retail dungeon that I have been slaving for the past six years, and becoming my own boss~slowly and tentatively, but it's going to happen.

As I think about these things, I can see that as much as Jeff still means to me, it's amazing that we lasted as long as we did. Money and the wanting of more and more on his part is what was at the root of the problems he had~even if he didn't/doesn't realize it. He kept telling me that he wanted to make me happy and give me all that I wanted. However, he failed to ask me or believe me when I told him what I thought about money and what made me happy in regards to it.

The truth is: I could care less about money, as long as I have enough to survive, I am happy.

What about you, dear readers?

What would make you happiest in life?

What do you like best about your life?

What do you want to change or are changing about things?

Saved by the proverbial bell

I almost called him this morning.

Yes, Jeff's number is still in my phone. I got as far as opening my contact list window, and before I could go any further, I was interrupted by traffic pulling out in front of me~saved by a Ford pickup instead of the proverbial bell?

I know he said he wasn't going to talk to me again if I didn't answer his ultimatum in the time limit that I didn't meet. But I wanted to hear his voice.

Not a good idea I know, believe me.

I wonder if he has had the same urge to call me that he has suppressed?

I'm back...I think..

..but don't hold me to it.

I know, I know, it's been AGES since I have blogged last. I've been thinking about it, but I never quite get as far as opening my blogging window and writing something.

Two weeks since Jeff gave his ultimatum and I failed it (in his eyes.) But..I figure, self centered as it may be, that it is his loss. Don't get me wrong..I miss him and love him.. but I have to look out for my own wants and desires since, apparently, no one else will.

Josh is back in the states! That is cause for excitement. For you readers who don't know, Josh is my best friend of 18 years and was on his fifth tour of Iraq. He is 'home' for probably another month or so. I haven't gotten to see him yet, he hasn't made it to Iowa. He went back home to his family who now live in Illinois for a few days, then had to go back to North Carolina for the rest of the checkout process. And then he's coming to Iowa to see me. Woohoo!! We already have the plans all set, he's going to stay at a motel in Cedar Rapids, and getting me a room as well. We are going to go out to eat, and then sit up ALL night, (until we can't stay awake,) talking. (Yes, just talking.. we are best friends, not dating. We are not interested in dating, we don't want to wreck the friendship we have.)

Let's see, what else is there...? On the school front, I got my term paper back in Psychology. I got a rockin' 95/100, an A! Not bad for writing it from start to finish in three days! That was ten pages, citations and the whole works.

I can't wait for school to be done so that I can concentrate more fully on my MaryKay business. I can totally rock that, I know! I have two people interested in hosting classes, just have to wait until my sales director is back in town next week. (If any of my local readers know of anyone that wants to try the products, or just host a class, please email me at seana.pierce@marykay.com. Those who host a class will receive a free gift!)

I have most of the Christmas decorations up here already. My inside tree and my outside tree, my lawn decorations, my pretty inside decorations and my Christmas town. I'm so busy, that I want to set them up early so I can actually enjoy them.

Speaking of enjoying things, I best go take my shower and go enjoy my family's company for the day. It's rare (usually) to have us in the same room, doing the same thing, so I want to grab as much of that time as possible!

Happy Thanksgiving all!

trouble sleeping again...

...but what else is new?? Almost 3 am, and still sitting here. I was in bed, but hopped right back out again after five minutes. TV is off.. house is quiet... ho hum.... I should go try it again, maybe jane will get off and I will be good..... or fall asleep during..... I want to get up in less then six hours so I have time for a shower before clouds grooming appointment.. I get to see Jeff, I am excited!!

He has an appointment on Thursday, then we may know more of what can happen, with experience and knowledge backing it up instead of our own speculation... I am nervous, but he doesn't seem to be. He must be a very good actor if he is...

What a wonderful night...

I had the day off, and so slept in for the first time in I don't know how long. I woke up about noon, dealt with a few things around here and then talked to Marsha on the messenger a bit. About 3:00, I hopped in the shower. Around four, I went over to Jeff's. I missed him terribly after being apart for a few days. This week has been hellacious, but it has started to cool down. There is still things to worry about, and I do. But I don't want to.. I know it probably will all work out. I just worry to much I suppose...
Anyway..... We ended up going to Kirk and Marsha's, and then went to the video rental place. Never did I think that spending what feels like an eternity in a rental place would be fun. Jesus, I was ready to go after less then ten minutes. Kirk and Marsha took awhile finding what they wanted though.

We had a pleasant dinner of steaks and mashed potatoes. they were talking about different things through dinner, so I didn't get a chance to get any feedback on what I was going to bring up.. there is always another day though. After that, we watched a movie. i didn't catch the name, but it had to be the most boring movie on the planet. I'm not just being complainy today, Jeff thought so to. K&M wanted to watch V for Vendetta after that, but we headed home. it's freaking cold outside!!!

After we arrived back home, we curled up for a few minutes of television, then he went to the gas station. After he came back, we cuddled some more, and that led way to an amazing time! It was WOW.......

I started to fall asleep watching TV, so i came home. And now, forty-five minutes later I am typing this really boring description that doesn't do my day justice. Every moment together with Jeff is amazing and better then the moment before. I think I may try to spruce it up tomorrow. I should go off to bed now...

seana

Rainy, stormy mornings...

do not bring a good vibe to the events that unfold later. In two hours we will know more of the outcome, which will dictate our further actions. I laid down at eleven last night, and was awake every half hour to forty five minutes. I actually had to make myself stay in bed until five this morning. Already took a shower and getting dressed. I need to leave here in no later then forty five minutes, getting dressed and ready will take about a half hour.

My head is still spinning, and I can't think of much anything to write. Not that I am thoughtless, my head is full of them, but none of them will slow down enough in their cycle in my mind for me to pin them down and express them.

I best go get ready, the rain will slow my driving and I want to be there early. I don't know if I will actually be able to be in there, but I want to be as close as possible. I love him, and I want to be there for him regardless if he knows I am there or not.

-seana

what a night.....

oh god, it was so horrible. To see him in that situation, and not be able to do anything about it. Kirk and Marsha are the best friends anyone could ask for, and they came through tonight. I don't know what I would do without them... I hope the morning goes well, and he can walk out of there. I fear the worst however, though they say that it won't be that. What a fucking ambush though.

10,000 dollars, that is messed up. No way that it is that, if anything. maybe in combination of all three, but that isn't right. My head is spinning, so many thoughts, incoherent at best. Need sleep, won't be able to get a good night rest. Need to be up at five, take a shower, be over there at seven and have it at eight. his new job starts tom marrow, wonder how we will deal with that. By his side all the way, that's what it's all about. I love him with all my heart... it and my mind, body, and soul is all his forever and ever. He won't ever have to worry about that. Through good times and bad, i hope this shows through better then what i fear.