Deadbeat Fathers

Deadbeat Fathers
I just rewatched an episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Aire that hits very close to home. Before you groan about the show, which I love, this is a very serious episode that makes me actually start to cry, especially with the ending scene. Before going any further, here's the episode recap:

Originally aired: Monday May 9, 1994 on NBC

Will's natural father shows up out of the blue. While Will is thrilled Phillip and Viv are suspicious. Spending a few fun days with his father, Will can't see him for what he really is and begins to believe in him again. After having a few fun times with Will his father has to hit the road again and promises he will be back for Will to go with him. When he leaves without Will, Will realizes that his uncle Phil is the real man in his life.

The script from the final scene that I found thankfully on Google that really makes it hit home because it is EXACTLY how I feel and describes my relationship with my own absent father, down the the number of years he was completely out of contact:

Will: Hey, you no what, you ain't got to do nothing, uncle Phil. You kow, ain't like I'm still five years old, you know? Ain't like I'm be sitting every night asking my mom "when's daddy coming home," you know? Who need's 'em? Hey, he wasn't there to teach me how to shoot my first basket, but I learned it, didn't I? And I got pretty damn good at it too, didn't I, uncle Phil?
Phil: Yeah, you did.
Will: Got to do my first date without 'em, right? I learned how to ride, I learned how to shave, I learned how to fight without 'em. I had fourteen great birthdays without him; he never even sent me a damn card. THE HELL WITH HIM!! (pause) I didn't need 'em then I won't need 'em now.
Phil: Will,...
Will: No, you know what, uncle Phil? I'm get through college without him, I'm get a great job without him, I'm marry me a beautiful honey and I'm having a whole bunch of kids. I'm be a better father than he ever was. And I sure as hell don't need him for that, 'cause it ain't a DAMN THING HE CAN EVER TEACH ME ABOUT HOW LOVE MY KIDS! (long pause) How come he don't want me, man?


My father was, and is, a complete loser for me. I managed to have him off and on the first few years of my life, when he dropped off the planet it seemed. Fourteen years later, and two or three secretly mailed letters from myself to him during middle school, I got a letter from him saying 'time flies huh? I always MEANT TO call or write, but didn't have the chance.' Turns out that the same time I lost my father's attention and love, he remarried and two other little girls got the love from my father that was MINE. His wife (now ex) found my letters hidden in his drawer while doing some spur of the moment spring cleaning and told him he needed to contact me. That was six years ago, and our relationship has been sporadic at best. Last time I talked to him, I thought I would call him to tell him I was in a minor accident, and he didn't even ask if I was okay. All he said was 'well you learned a lesson didn't you'?

Yeah, I learned a lesson alright. I don't have my father's love, never have, and never will. My mom's ex fiancee was more of a father to me then my own ever was. My childhood best friend's father was more of a father to me, and my neighbor's father was.

But why am I denied my own father's love???

I love my man

No matter what is going on in my life, or in my head, he always makes me feel better and happier just by hearing his voice and feeling his arms around me. I don't have to say a word about how I am feeling, and he knows just how to make it seem so much better.

He is the one who makes me complete and fulfills my every need, want and desire. I hope I can always do the same for him. My only worry is that I will somehow drive him away or make him unhappy. I don't ever want to do that, I want to be there for him always, and treat him the very best just as he deserves....

I can't believe it's been four months already..

...since I started this blog, and I haven't written much of anything! I always think about doing it, but never actually sit down and type.. will improve on this soon I hope. So many thoughts running jumbled in my head... I need and want to straighten them out before I go positively stark raving mad!

I like country music, sue me :)

I absolutely love this song by Carrie Underwood!!! I love the style of the song, the lyrics are well written... Every time it comes on the radio, I turn it up and sing it as loud as I can!

Before he cheats
Carrie Underwood

(Chris Tompkins/Josh Kear)

Right now he’s probably slow dancing
With that bleach blonde tramp
And she’s probably getting frisky
Right now he’s probably buying her some fruity little drink
‘Cause she can’t shoot whiskey
Right now he’s probably behind her with a pool stick showing
Her how to shoot a combo
And he don’t know

Chorus:
i dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little suped up four wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
Took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats

Right now she’s probably up singing some white trash version of Shania karaoke
Right now she’s probably saying I ’m drunk and he’s thinking that he’s gonna get lucky
Right now he’s probably dabbing on three dollars worth of that bathroom polo
And he don’t know

Repeat chorus:
I mighta saved a little trouble for the next girl
‘Cause the next time that he cheats
You know it won’t be on me

Chorus