Aquateen theme song...

ekkkk, they changed the Aquateen Hungerforce theme song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..... I love that show, but the theme song is so odd now... I hardly get to catch the show, so who knows when they really changed it..

Anyway, the first one was much MUCH better...

that is all, back to your regularly scheduled programming!

trouble sleeping again...

...but what else is new?? Almost 3 am, and still sitting here. I was in bed, but hopped right back out again after five minutes. TV is off.. house is quiet... ho hum.... I should go try it again, maybe jane will get off and I will be good..... or fall asleep during..... I want to get up in less then six hours so I have time for a shower before clouds grooming appointment.. I get to see Jeff, I am excited!!

He has an appointment on Thursday, then we may know more of what can happen, with experience and knowledge backing it up instead of our own speculation... I am nervous, but he doesn't seem to be. He must be a very good actor if he is...

Well, I think this blog is just all for me...

... Jeff is the only one who has this blog's web address, and I don't think he's looked at it at all. He didn't seem that interested when I emailed the link to him in an email that I wrote him, when I mentioned the email later... ah well, It's really not that important and that just means I can forget all about readership and just write anything in my head. I usually censor myself, and my thoughts that I put out when others are present, who doesn't? But there are so many things in my life (and absent from my life) that bug the hell out of me... now I can express them without worrying about the possible responses that I would get...

Today at work was hell again, and when I came home with mother on lunch, she was in such a rush to get back early that I left my purse on the counter with my car keys. I realized this when I finally got to clock out. I was on the phone with Jeff, and he said he would come give me a ride to the house to get the keys and then back to work to pick up my car. How amazing is he?? I would've walked home, but he didn't like that idea... wasn't safe, I totally understand where he was coming from. Once he realized where I usually park, he didn't like that idea either! I promised I would park with the rest of humanity from now on. (I usually park at the side of the building, back by the grocery loading docks.)

It was very nice to see him unexpectedly, and to get to kiss him and cuddle next to him in the car. I love him so much, and missed him horribly all day. His new job's schedule and my work schedule don't mesh well, so our time together is rare lately. It will all work out though, and it will get better someday.

What a wonderful night...

I had the day off, and so slept in for the first time in I don't know how long. I woke up about noon, dealt with a few things around here and then talked to Marsha on the messenger a bit. About 3:00, I hopped in the shower. Around four, I went over to Jeff's. I missed him terribly after being apart for a few days. This week has been hellacious, but it has started to cool down. There is still things to worry about, and I do. But I don't want to.. I know it probably will all work out. I just worry to much I suppose...
Anyway..... We ended up going to Kirk and Marsha's, and then went to the video rental place. Never did I think that spending what feels like an eternity in a rental place would be fun. Jesus, I was ready to go after less then ten minutes. Kirk and Marsha took awhile finding what they wanted though.

We had a pleasant dinner of steaks and mashed potatoes. they were talking about different things through dinner, so I didn't get a chance to get any feedback on what I was going to bring up.. there is always another day though. After that, we watched a movie. i didn't catch the name, but it had to be the most boring movie on the planet. I'm not just being complainy today, Jeff thought so to. K&M wanted to watch V for Vendetta after that, but we headed home. it's freaking cold outside!!!

After we arrived back home, we curled up for a few minutes of television, then he went to the gas station. After he came back, we cuddled some more, and that led way to an amazing time! It was WOW.......

I started to fall asleep watching TV, so i came home. And now, forty-five minutes later I am typing this really boring description that doesn't do my day justice. Every moment together with Jeff is amazing and better then the moment before. I think I may try to spruce it up tomorrow. I should go off to bed now...

seana

cant sleep...

just that.. nothing much to say about it.. still fully dressed, and looking at the clock every ten minutes......

oh lord...

..i saw it in the paper today. Not just in the arrest section, but 4A.. not good... I wish I could get a hold of every paper that was distributed today and clip that section out. I'd even give the rest of the paper back to the reader, no harm no foul. I don't know if I should have told him I saw it, but it seemed important that he knows, so if he is asked about it he can have a prepared statement to throw back at them instead of being caught off guard..

It literally feels like...

a eternity since the events that took place this morning. I know now that I was exaggerating on any other day that I said were long and felt like a eternity, because now I truly now know what that phrase means.

After I left here this morning, I went over to Kirk and Marsha's, and waited for them to be ready, then we took off for downtown. (God, it's surreal talk it like it was less then 24 hours ago, it feels like another lifetime) We made it to the courthouse fifteen 'til eight and waited for the hour to come. (...and waited... and waited.....and waited some more). Eight to the court system really means nine to the rest of us apparently. His lot came up about a quarter to ten. We all held our breath when his name was called. The judge stated the charge, told the possible penalty, and as he signed the papers, "You're released on your own recognizance". A weight, so heavy, was partially lifted off my chest as I closed my eyes and said "Thank God". Kirk and Marsha also breathed quiet sighs of relief. We immediately left, and Kirk took Marsha to work while I walked down the block to wait for him to be processed. About forty five minutes later and we were greeting him in the waiting area. It was so nice to have his arm around me and to be receiving his kiss once more. It's a relief that we didn't have to come up with any bond to get him out. There is still a horrible pressure as to what will come to pass in three weeks however. It scares me to death as to what the outcome will be.

We went to BK for lunch and then Kirk dropped us off at my car and we drove back over to Jeff's. We cuddled and talked for about an hour and then I had to leave to go to work. i was supposed to work 12-9, but while we were waiting on him to get out I called JoAnn and told her my appointment was running later then I expected it would have and told her I would make it by one. Which I did.

Jeff had his orientation today for his new job at Target. It sounds like it will be an okay position, working overnights stocking the floor and doing freight. He seems to like what he has heard about it so far. After I got off of work, I got two things of water which was needed for our water cooler and picked up a few things. It's positively freezing again outside, it feels like December instead of April. BRRRR!
I surprised him at his apartment when he got home from the orientation, I didn't tell him that I was there. He called me as soon as he got out to his car to come home, and talked to me all the way and then he saw my car there. I was waiting for him by the stairs. God, I love that man so much!

Some more cuddling followed when we got inside, and we watched 'Fight Club' starring Brad Pitt. That is an absolutely awesome movie!!! It is now one of my favorites. He ordered Papa John's that we ate during it, and afterwards some intense lovin' took place. He is so incredible at everything! Not just in the lovin' department, but in the wonderful things that he says and does all the time. Afterwards, we fell asleep in each others arms on the couch for a bit. That is one feeling that I love out of many that I have when we are together. To wake up, even from just a nap, in his arms is the most wonderful thing I can think of to do. I cant wait until it can be everyday! I want him for all of time, to be there holding me close and being safe in his arms and I want to be there for him as well in every way that he needs.

It is positively freaking me out what will come of all of this. Not just a mild freaking out either, its the kind of freaking out that every time I think about it, my breath catches in my lungs and I cant breathe. He's meeting with the lawyer on his next day off and then we will know more about what might happen.

I best get off line and get some more sleep. I have to be at work at ten, and it is a quarter past four now. I hope he is sleeping well as I type this.

-Seana

(it is really 4:25 when I am finishing this, I don't know why the time stamp is so off!) It says on my screen that I posted it at 3:47.

Rainy, stormy mornings...

do not bring a good vibe to the events that unfold later. In two hours we will know more of the outcome, which will dictate our further actions. I laid down at eleven last night, and was awake every half hour to forty five minutes. I actually had to make myself stay in bed until five this morning. Already took a shower and getting dressed. I need to leave here in no later then forty five minutes, getting dressed and ready will take about a half hour.

My head is still spinning, and I can't think of much anything to write. Not that I am thoughtless, my head is full of them, but none of them will slow down enough in their cycle in my mind for me to pin them down and express them.

I best go get ready, the rain will slow my driving and I want to be there early. I don't know if I will actually be able to be in there, but I want to be as close as possible. I love him, and I want to be there for him regardless if he knows I am there or not.

-seana

what a night.....

oh god, it was so horrible. To see him in that situation, and not be able to do anything about it. Kirk and Marsha are the best friends anyone could ask for, and they came through tonight. I don't know what I would do without them... I hope the morning goes well, and he can walk out of there. I fear the worst however, though they say that it won't be that. What a fucking ambush though.

10,000 dollars, that is messed up. No way that it is that, if anything. maybe in combination of all three, but that isn't right. My head is spinning, so many thoughts, incoherent at best. Need sleep, won't be able to get a good night rest. Need to be up at five, take a shower, be over there at seven and have it at eight. his new job starts tom marrow, wonder how we will deal with that. By his side all the way, that's what it's all about. I love him with all my heart... it and my mind, body, and soul is all his forever and ever. He won't ever have to worry about that. Through good times and bad, i hope this shows through better then what i fear.