The entry I wrote a few weeks ago, I just found it....

(Written in the middle of June)

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Haven't written for awhile. Been thinking about it for a week or two. I would take my notepad and go into hiding (AKA the family restroom), and disappear into the white space and blue lines for a few minutes. It's seriously on of these downer moods. This Red Hot Chili Peppers song fists me perfectly: tone, music, lyrics and all, but now its over :( I just headed in the direction of hiding, but its almost five and time fore the evening meeting. I wouldn't get peace and aloneness that I desperately crave at the moment. Bah....

Saw Erin (Strait) today. :) That was a higher point of my day. Its always nice to catch up with her a bit. class Reunion (Five years) will be on August eighteenth, from what she said. I best get cracking on my makeover, that not much time in the wholes scheme of things. Speaking of makeovers, I need to call Cloudy's groomer and cuss them out for canceling two appointments in a row. Shes past the cute rag-a-muffin stage, and looks pitiful :( The knots cant feel that good either.

Later (5:05)

ARE THEY EVER GOING TO CALL THE MEETING?!?!? I can't hide until I am back from lunch, and I so desperately want to do so. I guess I will zone some and wait hopefully at each PA click, maybe it will be the one to signal I can leave, if only for a little bit.

Yet Later (7:00)

I am in my blessed hiding finally. Lunch was uneventful, if you can call it that, for I didn't eat. I don't want to be here, no inkling of desire to be in this loud, cavernous mercantile. Only two places in the world would satisfy me, in Jeff's arms with his fingers in my hair with my eyes closed OR laying huddled under the covers, cloud curled tightly against me and midnight on my other side as I sleep. I suppose an even better option would be the one with Jeff, only flipped horizontal, huddling under the covers sleeping.

I should call or email Jenny. I haven't talked to her in awhile.

I want to go shopping, buy myself something pretty. I did that yesterday, thought because I was having my first good day in quite awhile. Now its back to the tiring down grind, and I want to console myself I suppose.

Its been ten minutes at least. I suppose I should venture out of hiding and try not to kill anyone.. that is slightly frowned upon in society (for some reason......)