Sunday, July 20, 2008

LMAO

This song's video and radio version have two way different impressions on the average watcher/listener.

I was listening to my favorite evening radio program about a week ago, (Lia on KHAK, 98.1) and a woman actually left her husband with this song by the sounds of it! She said something to the effect of: "My husband and I love your show, and I know he's listening right now. So I want to dedicate this song to him, I think it is self-explanatory."

(Best if you read the lyrics first, before watching the video, in my opinion! I would've posted the audio, but I couldn't get playlist.com to do it for me! If any of my dear readers finds it somewhere that I can link to, let me know!!!!)


Little Too Late
Toby Keith

(chorus)
It’s a little too late
I’m a little too gone,
A little too tired of this hangin’ on
So I’m letting go while I’m still strong enough to
It’s got a little too sad
I’m a little too blue
It’s a little too bad
You were too good to be true
I’m big time over you baby
It’s a little too late

No I don’t want to want to talk about what we can do about us anymore
Only time you and me wastin’ is the time it takes to walk right out that door
Yeah talk about water under the bridge,
You should know by now girl that’s all this is

(chorus)
It’s a little too late,
I’m a little too gone,
A little too tired of just hangin’ on
I’m letting go while I’m still strong enough to
It’s got a little too sad,
I’m a little too blue
It’s a little too bad
You were too good to be true
I’m big time over you baby
It’s a little too late

There was a time,
this heart of mine,
would take you back every time
don’t you know
It’s been two packs of cigaretts
a sleepless night
a nervous wreck, a day ago.
Now you ain’t got no business coming around
I’m closing up shop
Shuttin’ us down

(chorus)
It’s a little too late,
I’m a little too gone,
A little too tired of just hangin’ on
I’m letting go while I’m still strong enough to
It’s got a little too sad,
I’m a little too blue
It’s a little too bad
You were too good to be true
I’m big time over you baby
It’s a little too late
I’m big time over you baby,
It’s a little too late

and now for the video!!! Enjoy and leave love :)

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

A few videos for Kimmy and any other woman that needs a perk :P



(Lyrics)

Shania Twain
Any Man of Mine

This is what a woman wants...
Any man of mine better be proud of me
Even when I'm ugly he still better love me
And I can be late for a date that's fine
But he better be on time
Any man of mine'll say it fits just right
When last year's dress is just a little too tight
And anything I do or say better be okay
When I have a bad hair day
And if I change my mind
A million times
I wanna hear him say
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah I like that way

Chorus:
Any man of mine better walk the line
Better show me a teasin' squeezin' pleasin' kinda time
I need a man who knows, how the story goes
He's gotta be a heartbeatin' fine treatin'
Breathtakin' earthquakin' kind
Any man of mine
Well any man of mine better disagree
When I say another woman's lookin' better than me
And when I cook him dinner and I burn it black
He better say, mmm, I like it like that yeah
And if I change my mind
A million times
I wanna hear him say
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like it that way

(Repeat Chorus)

Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah I like it that way

(Repeat Chorus)

You gotta shimmy shake
Make the earth quake
Kick, turn, stomp, stomp, then you jump
Heel to toe, Do Si Do
'Til your feet And your backache
Keep it movin' `till you just can't take anymore
Come on everybody on the floor
A-one two, a three four
Hup two, hup
If you wanna be a man of mine, that's right
This is what a woman wants...



Mindy McCready
Guys Do It All The Time

(Lyrics)
Got in this morning at 4 AM
Your as mad as you can be
Well I was drinking and talking
And you know how that goes
Time just slipped away from me
By the time I knew what time it was
It was to late to call home
Stop carrying on and acting like a child
I wasn't doing anything wrong

Guys do it all the time
And you expect us to understand
When the shoe's on the other foot
You know that's when it hits the fan
Get over it honey life's a two way street
Or you won't be a man of mine
So I had some beers with the girls last night
Guys do it all the time

I know I left my clothes all over the place
And I took your twenty bucks
No I didn't get the front yard cut
Cause I had to wash my truck
Will you bring me a cold one baby
Turn on the TV
We'll talk about this later
There's a ballgame I wanna see

Guys do it all the time
And you expect us to understand
When the shoe's on the other foot
You know that's when it hits the fan
Get over it honey life's a two way street
Or you won't be a man of mine
So I had some beers with the girls last night
Guys do it all the time

You look like you just took
A long look in the mirror
Tell me baby if things don't look
A whole lot clearer, ooh

Get over it honey life's a two way street
Or you won't be a man of mine
So I had some beers with the girls last night
Guys do it all the time
Yeah guys do it
Yeah guys do it
All the time, all the time
Yeah guys do it
Yeah guys do it
All the time

And some eye candy (and southern drawal) for Kimmy....



Trace Adkins
Ladies Love Country Boys

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

I surfed across this picture...

and I really liked it.. I can't put any words to why, or why I feel like it speaks to me..



found it here:http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://farm1.static.flickr.com/67/204092788_7d0f948c0d.jpg%3Fv%3D1156191084&imgrefurl=http://flickr.com/photos/jaquelinevanek/204092788/&h=500&w=342&sz=75&hl=en&start=37&sig2=oUnGB4Lr102I-zkCjAYAgQ&um=1&tbnid=keRT9j8fAob-mM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=89&ei=xSJ0SJ_gFYeOigHJ37x9&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsurprise%2Bdisgust%26start%3D20%26ndsp%3D20%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN

A word that I never like hearing...

SURPRISE!


Yeah, that word hold has as much of my listening desire as a vegetarian has of eating meat.



Just a word to the wise, if I haven't told you lately, dear reader. I do NOT like surprises.

Anything that someone may try to do as a surprise will not be liked. It doesn't matter if I love the act, I will despise it because it came in wrapped in the guise of a surprise.

Just thought I would mention it...since I hadn't for awhile.. just in time (before my birthday)to squelch any ideas that might be coming from ANYONE I know...

Monday, July 7, 2008

hmmmm...i gotta make a birthday list...

but I don't know what to write down. I'm not that much into materialisitc things anymore...I've been purging out my house of un-needed stuff. I don't want to hamper the past year's worth of effort by bringing in more junk.

There's bunches and bunches of CD's that I would love to have... but I don't want to put them on the list, because I buy 'Used'. It's much cheaper, and FYE gives you a 100% money back guarantee if it is scratched or won't play.

I need clothes..but other people can't pick those out for me, because I am picky. Plus each brand fits differently.

Hmmmm.......what to write??? must think some more... There's a rule in my family that you have to have your ideas/list to the rest of the family a month in advance lol... So I better get thinking...

Wow..

I haven't blogged in FOREVER it seems like.

So, just to let you know, dear reader... (if you are still hanging around, that is..) I am still alive and kicking.

I just found out about a concert that I would love to go to...and I even have the frickin' day off... but I know I won't be able to.



Taylor Swift, In Concert, Cedar Rapids on August 8th, 2008!! The day after my birthday!!! :(

She sings a lot of good songs, country of course, but hey it's my taste. Not yours, so :P

Saturday, June 28, 2008

So, how are you holding up?

Why, thank you, 'me', for asking. I am doing horrible. But I don't go ahead and let it on as bad as I am. Why not, you may ask?

It's simple. People ask how are you are... multiple times a day. But 99.9% of the time, they don't REALLY want to know. They are just being polite. I've done it before... I try not to, but I have. Everyone has, some more than others. Yes, even you, dear reader. I know you've done it as well. You ask, but before the person even gets one word out, you are thinking about your own problems, or what you want for supper.

I can hear the protests now. But, ah well, this is the game that has been more and more frequently played as American society becomes more and more 'me, me, me'. I better get used to it. Yes, I know it's 'me' going on here, but guess what? It's MY own damn blog, so there!

Anyway, if you are still here reader...and haven't walked away from the screen shaking your head, sure that I have lost it, good for you. (And me of course, that means you are a good friend to me.... and I need at least a few of those.)

Do you really want to know how I am holding up, with Midnight's passing just behind me still?

Really?

Okay. Well, here it goes, and how it went. Midnight Binx had been getting worse slowly for the past couple of weeks. I knew it was happening, but I also knew that I wanted to be with her through it all. She was my baby after all. The night before, Thursday, I fell asleep around 12 at night, and woke up just before 1:30. She was in her bed next to me, and I just knew it was her last night. So, I sat up with her for the rest of the night, holding her and petting her. I put her in the litter box and held her up so she could go when she needed to use it. Her body began betraying her, and on the way to the vet, she got worse quickly. She died in my arms at 8:10 Friday morning. After looking directly at me with her big green eyes, winking one of them and trying to meow. I told her I loved her, and she went. I was in pieces at this point.

That's not the worse of my reaction however, although I am not ashamed of it. She was my baby, you know. When I got to the car, holding her bed and blanket, I basically fell into the car, my legs gave way. Then my body gave up 'normal' functions for a bit. I was crying, my head felt like I was going through one of my classic migraines from high school. You know the kind? Mine are where it feels like lightening bolts are shooting from one side of my brain to the other and back again, at the speed of light. We got to our corner to turn off Highway six, and I got sick. I just opened the door while my mom was driving, and got continually sick from that corner to past Tires Plus. Yes, I vomited out my car door, just in case you didn't get the picture the first time.

I came home, and took one of my back pain medicines, and took an hour and a half nap. Then, I had to go suffer through a shift at the dungeon, pretending to be the happy, chipper associate just living to serve the annoying, mess making public. Boy, oh boy...

Ever so often though, the tears threaten. That's nothing new though. That happens a few times a month to me, at least. This evening though, right before my shower, they overcame me and I cried heavily. I held her bed, and cried. Silently, of course. Well, as silent as tears pouring from heart wrenching can be. I keep thinking I see her in a room before I turn on the light, or hear her unique eh-eh meow.

I miss her so much. That doesn't even cover the terrible hole I have. That's such a basic statement, it doesn't go nearly deep enough.

And this is on top of the continued separation from Jeff. It's wearing on me. I dream that we are laying together, during many a night. It's so vivid, that I reach for him in my half-wakening state for a second, and then realize it was a dream yet again.

I am going to take a medicine and crash into bed very soon. I need to hide in the darkness for a long time.


Are you still agreeable with your decision to keep reading, dear reader?

Midnight Binx, 1994-2008




My precious baby passed on this morning, in my arms at 8:10. I miss her terribly. I will write more about her tomorrow, but I am still really tore up and heartbroken.

I will always love you Midnight. You were the best kitty (and feline best friend) I could ever hope to have.

Friday, June 20, 2008

I've been without steady internet since the floods.. but thought I would post a quick note here so you all know I am okay, and didn't have to swim anywhere.
===================================================================================
I still don't really feel like blogging, but came across this cute thing just now:


If A Dog Was The Teacher


If a dog was the teacher, you would learn stuff like:


- When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.



- Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.



- Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.



- When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.



- Let others know when they've invaded your territory.



- Take naps. Stretch before rising.



- Run, romp, and play daily.



- Thrive on attention and let people touch you.



- Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.



- On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.




- On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.



- When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.



- No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout! Run right back and make friends.



- Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.



- Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.



- Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.



- If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.



- When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

=================================================================================

Cute, isn't it? And true!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

I wanted to blog...

....but it's getting too late tonight to do it. So, I will definately try to get around to it tomorrow!

I will leave you with a few videos of my current favorite songs to watch instead!

Enjoy, and leave your impressions or thoughts about them!


(Carrie Underwood-Last Name)


(Trace Adkins-Ladies Love Country Boys)

and last...Toby Keith's 'Courtesy of the Red, White, & Blue.' I know it's not new now, but it's still a good song to play and have in thought of the troops overseas.

Friday, May 30, 2008

It was on the unlucky number again for the month.. so I had to get rid of it :P

Almost bed time, the little ones are sleeping already... (by little one's I mean Cloud and Midnight. They are truly my little ones!)

I wish Jeff was here so I could kiss him.

I had to work the last five days. Thankfully, I have tomorrow off. They stuck me on a register from 2:45-6 today. My back was hurting sooooooo bad by the time I got locked out of the register. I started to feel very warm in my lower back on the right side. I wonder what that means?

Tomorrow is Mom's birthday. I've gotta go to Target in the morning, and pick up the things Leon wanted to give her. Then come back and bake the cake, and wrap the presents. Then we are going out to eat, and then opening the presents :)

Then she wants to go to Cedar Rapids and do some shopping in the evening, after Leon goes to work.

I gotta work Sunday 12-9 again. BLECH.

I apologize, dear reader, for the abruptness and short paragraphs. I don't really feel like concentrating on anything right now, but wanted to blog. :) I'm really tired.

I did buy myself a nice, new, pretty sketchbook :) and some mechanical pencils. This one is a bound book, because the spiral ones I've had in the past tend to want to fall apart. I like sketching with mechanial pencils the best, for some reason.

Reader Survey :P

Fill this out in the comments section :P...

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. How have I affected you?

5. What do you think of me?

6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?

7. How long do you think we will be friends?

8. Do you love me?

9. Do you have a crush on me?

10. Would you kiss me?

11. Would you hug me?

12. Physically, what stands out?

13. Emotionally, what stands out?

14. Do you wish I was cooler?

15. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

16. Am I loveable?

17. How long have you known me?

18. Describe me in one word.

19. What was your first impression?

20. Do you still think that way about me now?

21. What do you think my weakness is?

22. Do you think I'll get married?

23. What makes me happy?

24. What makes me sad?

25. What reminds you of me?

26. If you could give me anything what would it be?

27. How well do you know me?

28. When's the last time you saw me?

29. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

30. Do you think I could kill someone?

31. Do you miss me?

32. Do you think i miss you?

33. Are you going to put this on your MYSPACE and see what I say about you?

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

So I did manage...

...To have a few glorious days with Jeff in Nebraska.

I left here on Thursday of last week, at noon. It was an uneventful trip over, singing at the top of my lungs at times and watching the lines fly by on the blacktop. I arrived over there shortly before 6, and straight into his arms and his kisses.

We cuddled, kissed, and hugged away the first evening. We used the hot tub, and snuggled together during the night. What a wonderful way to sleep! I can't wait to do that every night for the rest of our lives together! I woke every morning in his arms, and he cooked me a yummy breakfast each time. He is so good to me!

The next day was Friday, and we headed into town for some fresh air and lunch. (kisses and hugs abounded throughout.) I had mentioned that morning a game that I missed having and playing on Super NES. (He still has that game system, and we play it every time we are together.) So, we go into the closest gaming store. But they don't even carry Super NES accessories/games or anything older than that any more! :(

So, after walking the mall, we went off to lunch at Amigos, and I got to have the smoothie that I was craving. The sandwich was okay, but really greasy to me. My stomach doesn't like a lot of grease. It was a stark comparison to the salads that I usually get at lunchtime when I am working. Other than the grease, it was good :)

He took me to another video game store afterwards. Guess what? We found it! Donkey Kong Country is now part of his game collection, he bought it! Don't snicker, it's fun! We spent the rest of the weekend playing it!

We headed back home, and laid down to take a nap together, until his sister's kids showed up and happy screaming fun time started. We snuggled, and kissed, and hugged, and repeated :)

His sister and her kids went to town for events that evening, and he made me yummy pork chops and rice, and we retreated back to his room. After the kids and Jen went to bed, we headed out to the hot tub again :) He calls me his water princes, because (obvious one coming :P) I love anything that has to do with water.

And then back to each other's arms to sleep the night away. I love him so much.

Saturday was yet another day of relaxing in his arms, and playing Super NES. After we woke up, he made me breakfast, and I took a shower. We played A LOT of Donkey Kong! That night, we decided to watch Halloween (Rob Zombie's Unrated version) before getting into the hot tub. A word to the wise: Never watch a really really scary, bloody, twisted horror movie before going outside at night to use a hot tub with no lights on around you! When you are in the country, no less! LMAO! I scared myself out of my wits, not to mention out of a good evening to use the hot tub!

Sunday morning, he cut the left over pork chops up into thin slices and nuked them for breakfast. They are so good that way. That was the day that I had to come home :( I missed him before I even left Bennett's town limits. Now, I am just waiting for him to tell me when he is wanting to come here for a visit, so I can make sure to get that time off. The sooner, the better!!! (Hint, Hint, HINT!)

I've decided....

I decided tonight, (after thinking on it for a while and researching it), that I am going to do Administrative Assistant correspondence courses that will earn me at least a diploma in it. That will be cheaper then getting my Administrative Assistant diploma at Kirkwood (by half). And most businesses recognize this form of learning, so I can get a better job easier. (if I don't already have one by the time I finish). If I do, then it will help me move up higher then if I didn't have it. Also, I will be able to more readily afford to go to Kirkwood for my associates or higher!

I WANT to go back to school and learn stuff. So I am motivated, now I want to get started! And, I won't stop after I finish the correspondence course. I DO PLAN on going to Kirkwood for my associates at the very minimum.

Here are the answers that I gave to someone that rapid-fired questions at me, if you want further details:

Through where?
Stratford Career Institute, there are no complaints about them in the Better Business Bureau. I've called around town to see if businesses and banks acknowledge this sort of thing, and they do.

How much?
Half of the cost of a semester at the local community college.

How much time will it take?
Work at your own pace, however I will put in at least 5-7 hours a week, hopefully much more.

Can you do that and work a full time job?
Yes, it's a work at your own pace thing.. No time limits and no places to be at certain times.

Can you move in the middle of it?
Yes. I just have to update my address for records.

Is there tutoring help?
Yes.

I have one person dear to me that is supportive and one that is not. What do you think, dear reader?

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Peace in place of television?

"If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace."

~~John Lennon~~

What do you think?

(And just because it was said over twenty years ago, do you think the statements impact is any less direct?)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

So cute I HAD to share!

News story today:


Lost parrot tells veterinarian his address



Yosuke the parrot rests in his cage at his home in Nagareyama in Chiba Prefecture, east of Tokyo, Wednesday, May 21, 2008 after he went missing for two weeks. When the African greay parrot flew out of his cage and got lost, he did exactly what he had been taught — recite his name and address to a stranger willing to help.


TOKYO - When Yosuke the parrot flew out of his cage and got lost, he did exactly what he had been taught — recite his name and address to a stranger willing to help.

Police rescued the African grey parrot two weeks ago from a neighbor's roof in the city of Nagareyama, near Tokyo. After spending a night at the station, he was transferred to a nearby veterinary hospital while police searched for clues, local policeman Shinjiro Uemura said.

He kept mum with the cops, but began chatting after a few days with the vet.

"I'm Mr. Yosuke Nakamura," the bird told the veterinarian, according to Uemura. The parrot also provided his full home address, down to the street number, and even entertained the hospital staff by singing songs.

"We checked the address, and what do you know, a Nakamura family really lived there. So we told them we've found Yosuke," Uemura said.

The Nakamura family told police they had been teaching the bird its name and address for about two years.

But Yosuke apparently wasn't keen on opening up to police officials.

"I tried to be friendly and talked to him, but he completely ignored me," Uemura said.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

I love painting!




My art muse has FINALLY returned! yeah!

here are the two abstract art pieces I painted this evening for my living room. What do you think?

Redecorating...





My latest pictures from redoing my living room. The colors are lavender(on two walls, and some candles)and burgundy(accent pieces and my blanket). I think it is starting to come together pretty well! All that is left is to hang my mirror, and get the two wall hangings I want. And put in the new flooring that I want. The latter is going to have to wait until the mysterious leak is fixed, so it doesn't get ruined.

What do you think?

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Aren't they cute?

Mostly to share with Kimmy, and any female readers I get through here....

I have this little family of baby bunnies living in my yard. Aren't they adorable?



There's five little babies there.. :) I took this earlier today when they ventured out of their little hole, to about a foot away under the landscape fabric. Soooo cute!

New, long survey about me :P

Basics:
Name:Seana
Date of Birth:August 7
Birthplace:Iowa City
Current Location:My bedroom, in the dark..
Eye Color:blue
Hair Color:brown
Height:5'2''
Heritage:Cherokee Indian/German/Irish
Piercings:Just my ears.. can't get the nerve up to do a tummy one :P
Tattoos:NONE.. huge huge turnoff!
Favourite:
Band/Singer:Hanson (yes, laugh it up :P), Michael Jackson, Trace Atkins
Song:Hmmm...so many.. Honkytonkbadonkadonk, Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue(angry american)
Movie:Anything with Adam Sandler or Brad Pitt
Disney Movie:blech.. none
TV show:Um.. George Lopez, Home Improvement, M*A*S*H
Color:Red!
Food:Depends on the day... porkchops/rice usually
Pizza topping:mushroom/pineapple
Ice-Cream Flavor:hmm.. Icecream upsets my stomach :(
Drink (alcoholic):I don't really drink
Soda:Diet Coke
Store:Antique and Consignment stores
Clothing Brand:Metro 7
Shoe Brand:hmm... payless usually has good ones
Season:Summer!
Month:August
Holiday/Festival:Halloween!
Flower:Lily
Make-Up Item:My basics:Fondation, blush, mascara, lip gloss
Board game:Monopoly
This or That
Sunny or rainy:Sunny during the day, rainy at night
Chocolate or vanilla:chocolate
Fruit or veggie:veggie
Night or day:night
Sour or sweet:sweet
Love or money:love
Phone or in person:in person. Burned out on technology
Looks or personality:Can't I have both? :(
Coffee or tea:tea, coffee turns my stomach
Hot or cold:hot
Your:
Goal for this year:get out of the dungeon!
Most missed memory:being at Jeff's almost every single evening until the wee hours of the morning
Best physical feature:my bum...
First thought waking up:another ten minutes..
Hypothetical personality disorder:OCD
Preferred type of plastic surgery:none
Sesame street alter ego:none
Fairytale alter ego:hmmm.... Snow white, when is my prince going to wake me with another kiss?
Most stupid remark:I make too many of them to remember!
Worst crime:speeding
Greatest ambition:married and have one or two little ones
Greatest fear:that I won't get to be a mommy or be a wife before I am too old to really enjoy it
Darkest secret:That's why it's a secret DUH, it's mine to know only!
Favorite subject:Art, reading
Strangest received gift:hmmm no idea
Worst habit:biting my lip when I am nervous
Do You:
Smoke:YEACH!!! no way
Drink:no. My father is an achololic, and I refuse to live with it anymore
Curse:sometimes. I try not to though
Shower daily:yes, of course
Like thunderstorms:YES
Dance in the rain:yes
Sing:Yes. Horribly. At the top of my lungs!!! (only by myself though)
Play an instrument:I used to. The flute
Get along with your parents:yes-ish
Wish on stars:yes. When's it coming true?
Believe in fate:yes
Believe in love at first sight:yes
Can You:
Drive:yes
Sew:Sorta. Trying to get better
Cook:kinda...sorta...not really
Speak another language:nope
Dance:I don't try to. Unless it's in my room all by myself.
Sing:I like to pretend I can.
Touch your nose with your tongue:nope
Whistle:nope
Curl your tongue:yes
Have You Ever:
Been Drunk:nope
Been Stoned/High:nope
Eaten Sushi:nope
Been in Love:yep
Skipped school:yep
Made prank calls:nope
Sent someone a love letter:yep
Stolen something:yep
Cried yourself to sleep:yep. often, sometimes.
Other Questions:
What annoys you most in a person?cockiness. stuborness.
Are you right or left handed?right
What is your bedtime?when i get tired. which is very very soon
Name three things you can't live without:my little furballs, music, family/Jeff
What is the color of your room?green and blue
Do you have any siblings?yep. Jeffrey, April, Jeremy, Landon, Daniel, Lindsey, Meghan, Leon
Do you have any pets?Midnight and Cloud
Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars?nope
What is you middle name?Kay
What are you nicknames?none
Are you for or against gay marriage?for
What are your thoughts on abortion?A horrible thing. Unless the momma's life is at danger, but with technology now chances are much much better, should be a last resort.
Do you have a crush on anyone?yep. Jeff
Are you afraid of the dark?sometimes lol, if it's pitchblack
How do you want to die?After I accomplish everything I want to
What is the largest amount of popsicles that you have eaten on one day?two
Would you take a bullet for the one you love?yep *knock on wood*
What is the last law you�ve broken?speeding
In a Member of the Opposite Sex:
Hair color:dark
Eye color:any
Heighttall
Weightathletic, fit, trim
Most important physical feature:handsome
Biggest turn-offoverweight, cockiness, using more hair products in a day than I do in a month
Take this survey or other MySpace Surveys at PimpSurveys.com

The past couple of weeks..

I haven't felt the urge to blog for quite some time, but it's definately past time to do so. The last week and a half has been different, but a much needed break. I needed a break from the ever stressful and annoying dungeon. I had almost reduced myself to using this:



It was thirty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band....... oh wait, that's not what I was going to type about! *sorry, the Beatles overtook my brain waves and produced lyrics.*



It was two weeks ago (this next monday), *much better*, and I was sitting up front yet again on the self-checkouts. It was about 2pm, just after. I'd been there for five hours, and was looking forward to having my lunch in less than an hour. Store Manager Steven came up and used the phone on the self-checkouts. He didn't say anything to me besides 'hi'. So then he walks away. Less than five minutes later, Co-Chris comes up and asks me why I am sitting down (for the umpteenth time that the question was asked of me since I got my doctor's note back in December.) I told him that it was for my back, that I was not supposed to be standing up front, either on the door or self-checkouts, and not to be on a regular register at all. He asked me again and again why that was any different then working on the floor. I, of course, was explaining to him, again and again, that the movements are different and that is why I could do the floor and not up front. Also, in my department, there are benches if I need to sit while doing price changes, and there is also a generous handful of people that refuse to let me move heavy boxes if they are around.


(although they don't look like THAT..but you know...)

So anyway, he tells me that he is going to go pull my file and see exactly what it says, and what my papers are all about. So... about fifteen or so minutes go by, and he come back up front, telling the CSM to get me off the self-checkout so I can go to the back and talk to him and Steven. Lo, and behold, guess what? ALL of my medical papers pertaining to my back (and all health) have *disappeared* out of my file. Very interesting. Of course, I know they existed, and also know I had a copy on the shoe desk. So, I go out to my department and JoAnn and I look all over the stupid thing. Guess what? they are all gone. So I go back to the office and tell them I can't find my copy. Steven says that he can't let me work, until I get a new doctor's note, and if it doesn't allow me to do what my job requires, then I have to go on medical leave. So, I had to miss the rest of the day of work.



I didn't have a doctor's appointment until Wednesday, and no pressing place to be, so I went over to see Kirk and Marsha. Marsha wasn't home, so I told Kirk what happened and came back home to hide. One of the many many times that I wish Jeff was still around, because I could have definately used his arms around me then. I had to settle for him to arrive home from classes, so I could call and tell him what happened. He wasn't very empathic, at first. He told me that I should have stood my ground, and tell them that they lost the note, yadayada...but then he got sympathetic a bit. I love him. So, I started on my resume. And spring Cleaning.

Went to my doctor on Wednesday, and he insisted on giving me a note keeping me off of work until April 18th, a full week and half later. Which pulled things very very tight and stressful, because my sick hours would only take me until the end of that exact day and then I was screwed for pay. When I got home that night, I told Jeff what happened and told him I wouldn't be able to afford gas money. I asked him if he could supply the gas money so I could still come for my visit. He said he would. Now, I need your input, dear reader. If you were dating someone for 2 1/2 years, and haven't seen them in a couple of months, you would think they would take care of everything so you can come to them right?? I mean, I had every intention of paying for the gas when I went, but now I am very short on money. Jeff promised gas money two weeks ago so I can be sure to leave first thing Thursday, but I haven't received it yet. What do you think? I know how finances are and it's not me personally, but.......Anyway..that's just something that has been bugging me, and wanted input/ideas from you.



So, anyway...For the next week, I concentrated on my spring cleaning, and rearranging my living room. This is due to the fact that there is a friggin' leak on the wall between us and the other people on the other half. That's right folks, I found the culprit of the moldy books that I discovered on the bottom shelf of my bookcase about a month ago. But, they insist that they don't have any leaks. We even went over today, and their basement is dry. So where is the water coming from??? There is no water pipes in that wall at all!!

Anyway, I had another doctor's appointment last Wednesday, (three days ago). I told him he HAD to take my restrictions off, so I could go back to work. Without work, I couldn't afford my medicine or any further treatment. He actually wrote a medical note lifting my restrictions on Monday. No arguments from him, like I thought. Which was weird... maybe because I had to wait forty-five minutes in the exam room for his appearance? No idea... Anyway, I go back to work at the good old dungeon on Monday. I don't plan on doing ANYTHING tomorrow, except get up at eight, so I won't be too off kilter getting up early on Monday. Honestly, I don't plan on doing anything more than required of me at work. I'm finished with giving my all, when they do these things to me.



I have some feelers out there for new things to do, so we will see if anything comes of them. I am also wanting to go back to school sooooo badly now.

Okay... I'll blog more in another entry.. this one is long enough for a book, don't you think?

So, dear reader, what's you input on any of the chapters above? I love your thoughts and ideas!!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Haven't blogged all week...

...but will most likely catch up this weekend. All I want to say right now is that I am glad this week is over!

Now, off to take a shower and get ready to fall into bed..

Saturday, May 3, 2008

50 things(took three days after I took on the challenge!)

Here are 50 facts about myself. I got the challenge from Shauna's blog, and took on the task. I feel accomplished, but very happy it's done! LOL

1.)I am half Cherokee Indian, a fourth German, and a fourth Irish(? My mind has gone blank lol)
2.)I'm a bit OCD, I HAVE to check on things three times. (Example: check the floor 3x for anything small the puppy can get a hold of in the night, check the stove top 3x after I cook supper to make sure it's off…)
3.)I was born on August 7th, 1984, in Iowa City, Iowa.
4.)My brother and I are exactly eight years, one month, and twelve hours apart. My childhood best friend Josh and I are exactly two years and two days apart.
5.)I HATE spiders and other little crawly things. If I get a bug on me, I have to take a shower as soon as possible, because I think I feel crawlies all over me!
6.)I first read Stephen King's IT when I was 11 years old, in the course of one very long summer day… (ah, to not have any responsibilities again…)
7.)I typically choose what book I'm going to read next as I am starting another.(I don't even have to think about it, I pick up a book, and as I am opening it's cover I decide. "I want to read Misery next."
8.)I adore my puppy and cat.
9.)Being around people bugs me more and more. I'd rather sit by myself at home, and be quiet then to be with many other people.
10.)When I am in public, I can't stand to have lots of people around me at once. I hate people right behind me. I have a rather large personal space when it comes to people I don't know.

11.)I have so many ideas about my perfect wedding.. But to get to that point is treacherous. (E.g. red bridesmaid dresses, green cummerbunds/ties for the men….)
12.)I HATE bananas!
14.)I am horribly superstitious about the number 13.
15.)I have zero self-esteem.
16.)I consider math to be the MOST BORING subject in the world. (Sorry, Jeff!) My mind automatically goes daydreaming, unfortunately.
17.)My favorite subject is music.
18.)I started singing when I started talking.
19.)The first songs I learned how to sing were Michael Jackson's Thriller and Reba McEntire's Fancy. That was when I was two.
20.)I've wanted to be a professional singer so bad ever since.

21.)I prefer my record player to my CD or MP3 player
22.)I've never been to a concert, except the one my mom took me to when I was very little, Pam Tillis. That was an outdoor hay rack ride sort of thing, like a fair I think.
23.)I'm a huge Hanson freak. Have been since they came out with their first album on a big label, Middle of Nowhere. No, I don't have their posters covering every inch of my walls anymore, but I still listen to all of their stuff and get excited when new albums come out! (I'm a dork lol)
24.)I am one of those people who sing at the top of their lungs, with the windows down, in my car to every song that comes on. But, I won't sing in front of other people, I am far to shy and self-conscious for that! I've been told that I should work on projecting my voice, and that would make a big improvement. I didn't tell the adviser that I defiantly have projection when I'm alone!
25.)I'm one happy lady whenever a song by Toby Keith or Trace Adkins comes on.
26.)My perfect day to spend by myself would be on the beach reading.
My perfect day with Jeff would be on the beach together, on the floating ropes :)
27.)I consider Kimmy my best 'girl' friend. Strange thing? She lives in Washington, and we have never actually met face to face. However, we've talked for hours upon hours online, and know tons about each other. I think it's definitely on my to-do to have a get together sometime!!
28.)My other best friend is Jeff. Makes sense huh? I love you baby!
29.)I LOVE the color red. So many people tell me I look good in it, so the clothes I buy are usually red now.
30.)I want to be a momma before I get too old.

31.)However, I'm scared to death that I won't be a good one.
32.)I remember the last thing I heard my father say the final time he came and visited me. It was one day, shortly before I turned two, after bedtime. It was 'Your room is like a Toys r' Us!'. I didn't hear from him again for fourteen years.
33.)In fourth grade, I collected cool rocks off of the playground. Everyday I would search for one that had fossils or some cool aspect to it and put it on my top shelf of my locker. I had an ice cream bucket full by the end of the year.
34.)My favorite things to do are sleep and read.
35.)Cowboys are hot. Not the fat wannabes, but the muscled, thin ones :P Then again, bad boys are to, but you can't settle down with a bad boy, nor do I want to. I want my man to be just that, a man. One that can and will take care of me, and take care of himself. Jeff is very good at that. Good thing he is hot and loves me.. cause I love him! He's the perfect example of Tall, dark, and handsome, which is hot.
36.)I am a firm believer that people who abuse children/women need to be shot.
37.)People who seriously think about children in sexual ways and also get off on such 'encounters' with innocent children need to be locked away, and the key thrown away. This would be after they are castrated/spayed, depending on the gender of the offender! It's sickening the amount of news coverage on this lately.
38.)I love water!
39.)I hit my head many many times growing up, actually knocking myself out. Once, during summer camp, once on the playground equipment in fifth grade, and a few other times. (Times I can't remember right now, LOL!)
40.)Muscles are a big turn-on.. Admittedly, obesity is an utter turnoff. (I know, it sounds like I am very superficial, but it's just how I feel, and really I'm not! I swear!)

41.)Strangely, in this materialistic world we're living in, I don't place to much importance on possessions or status. I still want to live my life relationship-wise, for example, like Alan Jackson's song, 'Livin' On love'. Money really doesn't mean that much to me anymore, as long as I can buy what I need to get by, and support my-self, my pets, and someday my family. I just want the one I love back here with me.
42.)My favorite sweet treat in the whole world are cow tails.. You know, they are sold at very few gas stations any more, twenty five cents a piece still? Yummmmmmmmm…………….
43.)I am very very forgetful. I have to write down everything, lest I forget something important. Someone can say something to me one minute, and the next I will have no clue what they wanted me to recall! My boss, however, is really cool, and she writes down everything as she tells me! That way I can just look at the notebook.
44.)Technology is getting boring to me. I am getting burned out on it more and more, preferring my computer/phone/TV to be off more than on. I like quiet, peace, and silence.
45.)My biggest fear is fire. Might well stem from an accident when I was very little.
46.)If I never had to step foot in a Wal-mart or other mass-warehouse store again, I'd be quite happy!
47.)I totally rock at NES games, and most specifically at Pac-Man, Tetris and Super Mario Bros.
48.)I love scary movies, but more often then not I hide my eyes at the really bad parts.
49.)I hate making birthday lists, or asking for things. I feel I am being selfish and self-centered.
50.)I love painting. I've yet to find the perfect spot for my easel however. I also need canvas' and paints that I can't afford. So I haven't painted in far too long.

Friday, May 2, 2008

All you really need to get by in life...

I'm not really all that materialistic anymore. I used to be, but this past year has taught me that I don't really want possessions or money, I just want the one I love with me.

Alan Jackson
Livin' On Love

Two young people without a thing
Say some vows and spread their wings
Settle down with just what they need
Livin' on love

She don't care 'bout what's in style
She just likes the way he smiles
It takes more than marble and tile
Livin' on love

Livin' on love, buyin' on time
Without somebody nothin' ain't worth a dime
Just like an old fashioned story book rhyme
Livin' on love
It sounds simple that's what you're thinkin'
But love can walk through fire without blinkin'
It doesn't take much when you get enough
Livin' on love

Two old people without a thing
Children gone but still they sing
Side by side in that front porch swing
Livin' on love
He can't see anymore
And she can barely sweep the floor
Hand in hand they'll walk through that door
Just livin' on love

Livin' on love, buyin' on time
Without somebody nothin' ain't worth a dime
Just like an old fashioned story book rhyme
Livin' on love
It sounds simple that's what you're thinkin'
But love can walk through fire without blinkin'
It doesn't take much when you get enough
Livin' on love

Livin' on love, buyin' on time
Without somebody nothin' ain't worth a dime
Just like an old fashioned story book rhyme
Livin' on love
It sounds simple that's what you're thinkin'
But love can walk through fire without blinkin'
It doesn't take much when you get enough
Livin' on love

No, it doesn't take much when you get enough
Livin' on love

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Americans unload prized belongings to make ends meet

By ANNE D'INNOCENZIO, AP Business Writer Tue Apr 29, 6:04 PM ET

NEW YORK - The for-sale listings on the online hub Craigslist come with plaintive notices, like the one from the teenager in Georgia who said her mother lost her job and pleaded, "Please buy anything you can to help out."
ADVERTISEMENT

Or the seller in Milwaukee who wrote in one post of needing to pay bills — and put a diamond engagement ring up for bids to do it.

Struggling with mounting debt and rising prices, faced with the toughest economic times since the early 1990s, Americans are selling prized possessions online and at flea markets at alarming rates.

To meet higher gas, food and prescription drug bills, they are selling off grandmother's dishes and their own belongings. Some of the household purging has been extremely painful — families forced to part with heirlooms.

"This is not about downsizing. It's about needing gas money," said Nancy Baughman, founder of eBizAuctions, an online auction service she runs out of her garage in Raleigh, N.C. One former affluent customer is now unemployed and had to unload Hermes leather jackets and Versace jeans and silk shirts.

At Craigslist, which has become a kind of online flea market for the world, the number of for-sale listings has soared 70 percent since last July. In March, the number of listings more than doubled to almost 15 million from the year-ago period.

Craigslist CEO Jeff Buckmaster acknowledged the increasing popularity of selling all sort of items on the Web, but said the rate of growth is "moving above the usual trend line." He said he was amazed at the desperate tone in some ads.

In Daleville, Ala., Ellona Bateman-Lee has turned to eBay and flea markets to empty her three-bedroom mobile home of DVDs, VCRs, stereos and televisions.

She said she needs the cash to help pay for soaring food and utility bills and mounting health care expenses since her husband, Bob, suffered an electric shock on the job as a dump truck driver in 2006 and is now disabled.

Among her most painful sales: her grandmother's teakettle. She sold it for $6 on eBay.

"My grandmother raised me, so it hurt," she said. "We've had bouts here and there, but we always got by. This time it's different."

Economists say it is difficult to compare the selling trend with other tough times because the Internet, only in wide use since the mid-1990s, has made it much easier to unload goods than, say, at pawn shops.

But clearly, cash-strapped people are selling their belongings at bargain prices, with a flood of listings for secondhand cars, clothing and furniture hitting the market in recent months, particularly since January.

Earlier this decade, people tapped their inflated home equity and credit cards to fuel a buying binge. Now, slumping home values and a credit crisis have sapped sources of cash.

Meanwhile, soaring gas and food prices haven't kept pace with meager wage growth. Gas prices have already hit $4 per gallon in some places, and that could become more widespread this summer. The weakening job market is another big worry.

Christine Hadley, a 53-year-old registered nurse from Reading, Pa., says she used to be "a clotheshorse," splurging on pricey Dooney & Bourke handbags. But her live-in boyfriend left last year, and she has had trouble finding a job.

Piles of unpaid bills forced her to sell more than 80 items, including the handbags, which went for more than $1,000 on a site called AuctionPal.com. Now, except for some artwork and threadbare furniture, her house is looking sparse.

"I need the money for essentials — to pay my bills and to eat," Hadley said.

At AuctionPal.com, which helps novices sell things online, for-sale listings rose 66 percent from February to March, much faster than the 25 percent to 30 percent average monthly pace since the company was formed in September, CEO Maureen Ellenberger said. She said she was surprised to see that most of her clients desperately needed to sell items to raise cash.

For LiveDeal.com, a classifieds and business directory site, for-sale listings for January through March rose 10 percent from the previous year.

"We can definitely detect economic stress on the part of the consumer," said John Raven, the site's chief operating officer.

On Craigslist, Buckmaster said, three of the four fastest-growing for-sale categories are tied to gas — recreational vehicles like campers and trailers, cars and trucks, and boats.

Raven noted more and more listings for furniture, particularly in areas around Miami and Las Vegas and other regions hardest hit by the housing crisis.

Baughman, who runs eBizAuctions, said that over the past four months she's been working with mostly desperate sellers instead of mainly casual ones. Most are middle-class customers who can't pay their bills and now want to be paid up front for the items instead of waiting until they are sold, she said.

The trend may be hurting secondhand stores too. Donations to the Salvation Army were down 20 percent in the January-to-March period. George Hood, the charity's national community relations and development secretary, said that was probably partly because people were selling their belongings instead.

And secondhand buyers want better deals now as well, driving prices down. Secondhand merchandise online is going for 25 to 35 percent below what it commanded a year ago, estimated Brian Riley, senior analyst at research firm The TowerGroup.

"It won't hit the saturation point until the (economy) hits the bottom and right now, we don't know when that is," he said.

In Alabama, Bateman-Lee said that she only received $30 for her TV and $45 for her DVD player at a local flea market. She doesn't have too much left to sell, but she's going back to "sort through more things."

Her $30 water bill is due this week.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've been doing this for the past year.. I am doing it because the cash is nice to have, but also because I realized that I had waaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much stuff that I didn't need/use and there are people with far less.
I also feel much better without all the clutter, and am still getting rid of more things!

America has become very materialistic and 'keeping up with the jonses' mentality is not helping us at all...

And the way that many of us live, we could only live this way so long. I work retail. For the year before they announced the word 'recession', I saw a lot of people paying with credit cards and buying a couple hundred of dollars of stuff, and I knew we couldn't do that forever. There are limits on those things!

And gas guzzling vehicles don't help at all.. some vehicles that you know people just got for the status and look of it.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

*crying*

it all seems to be slipping away from me.. and I am powerless to stop it.. :'(

I'm not a good girl-friend, and a bad friend... I lack the traits of a good sister and daughter. I don't need anyone to tell me this, I just know. I don't have specific examples, because everything I do is lacking.

That's all.

I miss Jeff horribly.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

My Sweet Kitty



I finally had to let my kitty go yesterday. She had gotten steadily worse over the last six months or so, and I knew it was time. But she was a wonderful cat, and I know a lot of people say, "It's just an animal." But what many people don't seem to realize about me is that these little balls of fur are family to me. We had her since she was five weeks old in 1994.

I'm still crying and very upset. I wasn't crying when I began writing this entry, but the tears are rolling down my face and blurring my vision so I can't see what I am typing. I miss her badly.

But now, she is with her momma.

I want to buy me something pretty..

...so it's a good thing that the stores are closed. When I get down, I shop. And I don't stop when my balance of my debit/credit card hit zero line.

I haven't felt like this for awhile... I think bedtime is soon around the corner. To hide, in oblivion, from everyone and everything.

Apparently, this blog...

isn't read by the person that means the most to me to read it. You, dear reader, know from my recent posting, that I cannot go out of town at the present moment due to my job. No one in my department can take a long weekend, because of the person that transferred out suddenly and without warning.

You know that. I know that.

The person that I tried to tell that, interrupted me and then changed the subject when I tried to tell him that. So, I haven't been able to tell that. Because, "It's my turn."

You know how I know that he isn't reading this on any regular basis? Tonight, (five minutes ago,)he said, " I love you baby, and I miss you so much, maybe you can come for memorial day."

Well, at the wonderful dungeon, we need four weeks notice to give to management. Even if we got a new person hired and working in the department next week, that's not likely to be able to be given.

I wish he would work with me here. But he didn't even ask me, when he interrupted me, why I was asking him to come twice in a row.

Okay, enough venting. I truly adore this man. I'm not mad at him or anything, I just had that bugging me. But now it's out, and back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

My Myspace Blog

If you want to see what other people think about my blogs, and insert your own thoughts for me to see..check out my myspace blog. It's the same thing here (mostly), but that one is MUCH easier to comment on. Looking forward to seeing you there!

http://xrl.us/bjiek

Crap, crap and more crap

Things just keep going downhill... A trip to Nebraska to see my love would make things much better in perspective, and I had planned on going in a week but...

...that's before we lost someone in our department (Becky) who transferred out without telling us until the last moment. Actually, she didn't tell us. Assistant Manager Laura told us she was going to become a cashier fulltime. Ironically, the Assistant Manager over the front end didn't tell her until less than a week before they transferred her. But, lo and behold, guess who's working in Jewelry now? You got it... So they have had 2-3 people working at night in Jewelry this week, and the past two days I've been the only one in shoes, JoAnn being on vacation this week. Go figure.

Anyway, they haven't replaced her yet, so I can't take three or four days off in a row for now. We are two people short now. Supposed to have a frieght processor and then Becky's position. We've never had the former actually ont he payroll, and it was very difficult to get the latter position filled. So, now everyone in the shoe department has to put non-essential days off on hold.. The day that I have a doctor's appointment toward the end of the month I have to work as much of a shift as possible before the appointment, and possibly go back for a few hours after it.

I tried to ask Jeff to come here and I would pay for his gas, but he insisted, "It's your turn!" and didn't give me a chance to tell him why I was asking.

I've been sooooo exhausted lately, and not feeling well. Plus side, I've gained ten pounds in the last month. Woot! Finally! Something good...

The worst thing of all is my poor gray kitty's time has come.**insert endless tears and crying here**.She's been getting worse, fully blind now and loosing her balancing skill. She just lays next to the food and water for the most part, and I carry her to the litter box when I am able to see she needs to go in time. My mom is going to take her tomorrow. I can't even take time off of work now to take her myself. Due to the wretched point system at work and being incredibly shortstaffed now. I would love to say 'Screw it' and just walk out and never go back in. I have bills to pay though, so that would not be beneficial at all. Plus, I don't have the guts.

I wish there was a employer that would hire me as an administrative assistant and train me themselves, or at least hire me as I am getting the proper education I need, so I could tell my current one to "Take this job and shove it."

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

A song that echoes through my mind often..



Yes, yes....It's Hanson. OLD Hanson, Middle of Nowhere Debut album era. None-the-less, I am still a huge fan. This song echoes my mind a lot and showcases how I feel a lot of the time. I listen to it frequently, along with other songs, albums and artists that I'll post in the future.

Take four minutes and watch the video. It's amazingly deep and good for then-teens. Their work has only gotten better over the years, as well.

Lyrics:

"Weird"

Isn't it weird. Isn't it strange.
Even though we're just two strangers on this runaway train
We're both trying to find a place in the sun
We've lived in the shadows, but doesn't everyone
Isn't it strange how we all feel a little bit weird sometimes
Isn't it hard. Standing in the rain.
You're on the verge of going crazy and your heart's in pain
No one can hear though you're screaming so loud
You feel all alone in a faceless crowd
Isn't it strange how we all get a little bit weird sometimes.
Sitting on the side waiting for a sign, hoping that my luck will change.
Reaching for a hand that can understand, someone who feels the same.
When you live in a cookie cutter world being different is a sin.
So you don't stand out. And you don't fit in. Weird.
Sitting on the side waiting for a sign, hoping that my luck will change.
Reaching for a hand that can understand, someone who feels the same.
When you live in a cookie cutter world if you're different you can't win.
So you don't stand out and you don't fit in. Weird.
Isn't it strange how we all feel a little bit weird
Strange, how we all get a little bit...
Strange, 'cause we're all just a little bit weird sometimes.

A year it's been...

....since things began going crazy in my life at a most alarming rate.

Why me? Why can't things go smoothly for me? Ever? Well, I suppose there are the good days, such as when I got rid of that insane guy I was with. And when I started dating Jeff. That was one of the best moments in my life :) I love him so much.

Anyway, I mean, I don't have to have a complete fairy tale life...but I want something to go right.

Instead, I find my self on the brink of what feels like full madness... going crazy. Tears and utter sadness threaten to overcome me some moments, more often what I think it should. This isn't a new thing, went on through most of high school, but lately it keeps catching me off guard, and I have to hide somewhere lest someone sees. Unless everyone is like this? I won't know, because if I were to ask, people would either lie (to me and perhaps themselves) or think I was ready for the loony bin. You never really know what's going on with people, I think. I try to be open, but it seems that I am blown off more often than not. But that's okay, I have my blog with which to write and express myself.

Speaking of never really knowing what's going on with people, I have heard the most horrible news at work. Late last week, apparently, the night CSM took his life. I knew him, not closely at all, but talked to him when I saw him. Never would have guessed. He was about two years younger than I. How very sad, and horrible.

I have more to blog, but I really just want to curl up in bed and sleep as long as possible (until six thirty when my alarm goes off I guess).

Will blog more later.

Night all.

By the way, don't get me wrong. I do have my happy moments as well, but it seems fewer and farther between lately. Like, I have decided to go back to college. Hopefully I can make it for the summer semester! And, when I get to talk to Jeff. That makes my day. And, I have my family, and my little bundles of fur which make me smile.

Another random survey

You can only pick one out of the 3....

Alcohol, Soda, Water?
water

Flowers, Candy, or Cards?
cards

Beer, Wine, or Mixed drinks?
hmmm...I don't typically drink...but a daiquiri or Marquita :P

football, soccer or baseball?
football

Kiss, Cuddling, or Hug?
cuddling

Buy, Borrow, or Lease:
borrow

Ford, Chevy, or Dodge?
Fords suck...chevy :)

Email, Telephone, or Letter?
letter

California, New York, or Florida?
Florida

Morning, Afternoon, or Night?
night

Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Halloween:
Halloween

Dogs, Cats, or Hamsters:
hmmm I would say cats, but I have a puppy I adore...so it's a tie between the two.

Beach, Mountains, or Desert:
beach!

Cookies, Cake, or Brownies:
cake

Breakfast, Lunch, or Dinner:
lunch

Giver, Sharer, or Keeper:
sharer

Eyes, Nose, or Lips:
eyes

Friends that lie or Enemies that pretend to be your friend?
um...neither? I'll take the enemies if I have to.

Mariah, Madonna, or Britney?
Britney

Name Please?
Seana

Okay, but what do your best friends call you?
Seana

Have you ever kissed someone with braces?
nope

Who is the fourth received call on your call log?
Jeff

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
I like my blue eyes

What is the wallpaper on your phone?
my cats

How many pillows on your bed?
3 I use every night, and two with pillow shams

Is there someone you can't stop thinking about?
yes

What's the last thing you bought?
a sandwhich for lunch

Do any of your friends annoy you?
no

When was the last time you cried from laughing so hard?
um... don't remember



What are you listening to now?
Yahoo messenger radio

Do you have a crush on somebody?
my boyfriend :P



Who do you make fun of the most?
I don't

Whats the longest you stayed on the phone?
2 or 3 hours

Do you think you've gotten better looking since middle school?
definatley



Has your best friend ever seen you cry?
yes

Where did you last go out to eat?
Wendy's

Do you dance in the car?
No, but I sing at the top of my lungs

What do you think of hunting and fishing?
yuck

Do you and your best friend act alike?
My best friend is my boyfriend..

What is a noise that you cannot stand?
screaming children

Have you lied within the past 24 hours?
nope

Where did you get your last bruise from?
work



Would you rather sleep at a friend's or have them over?
have them over

Have you ever thought you were going to die?
yes...asthma attacks suck

How do you like your steak?
done





Who was your last hug from?
Jeff

Do you have a hard time admitting you're wrong?
sometimes

Who was the last person you held hands with?
jeff

Last person you kissed?
Jeff

Do you own any Hollister or American Eagle shirts?
Are you kidding me? No

Ever shop at a thrift store?
Yep

Why do you do surveys?
Bored, something to do

Do you love anyone?
yes

Have you ever kissed anyone?
um...yeah duh

How long was your last relationship?
two years

How old were you when you got your first kiss?
15

Do you like anyone now?
jeff duh :P

Have you ever broken up with anyone?
Yep

Do you have depressing days?
a lot

Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex?
yep

Where is the person you need most right now?
In Nebraska, far far away


What's your middle name?
Kay

Where will you be 12 hours from now?
working

Is it easy for others to make you feel intimidated?
uh yep

Do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow?
work dress code...tan pants, navy shirt

Wheres your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife at?
nebraska


Play an instrument?
i used to play flute

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
No, but I'd be tempted

Have you ever had your nails done?
yep, never again

Where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now?
I'm in my pj's

Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with an R?
nope

Do you think you would make a good wife/husband?
I hope so

Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?
Yep

Everything happens for a reason?
I would think so.

Have you ever dated someone more than once?
Yep.

What is your biggest turn off?
creeps... the ones who are them and the ones that give me them(creepy feelings)...

Monday, April 14, 2008

Finally over..

My day is...

work is done until tomorrow morning.

I will go take a shower now..... perhaps go to bed early.

That's all.

I woke up crying this morning. That's all. Now I have to get ready for work. Blech.

Been too long since I've blogged anything-April 12

But I have this weekend off, so I hope to catch up and also get things done.

I am going to eat my usual (but yummy) rice lunch, and then I shall dive into my througouh cleaning and purging project. I am seriously starting at one point, and will work my way around the entire lower level. I will ask myself about everything (furniture included):

Do I like this?

(No? Buhbye!)

Do I really need it?

(Six or more glasses? That's just more to keep clean! I'm only one person, and even including my brother, we don't use that many. I run the dishwasher every day, so five or six is definately too many! And who came up with the idea that one must have three or four different styles of glassware?)

Does it look rather ragged and at the end of it's usefullness?

(Yes? Well, buh-bye as well! I won't replace it if it's still here! I deserve to buy myself new furniture I think. However, I am such a penny pincher that if my stuff is up off the floor, then it's good. But I also want new/nice things, so I will force myself to buy!)

I'm sure there's more I'll be asking...but I'd rather get too it than to lose my ambition!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Is it tacky to put out fake furniture on the curb with a 'free' sign in a nice neighborhood? I am new to this neighborhood, and new to the rites and ways of the (slightly higher) income levels and real houses. We live on a court, not a thourough street...

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Random ramblings from my work day...

Seriously, my brain didn't want to function today. It didn't even want to form complete thoughts, let alone complete sentences while I thought them!

Usually, my brain is racing so fast that I can't 'see' each and every thought or idea that goes whizzing through. (Does that make sense to you?) I only catch the briefest glimmer and then it's gone. Today, though, they were just drifting lazily through my mind, I got to look at them and inspect them before they drifted out. Unfortunately, my brain didn't feel like inspecting much, but I had the chance to record them for once. Seriously, I did! I have the receipt tape to prove it. I ran some paper out of the printer, and wrote down the things that I thought. That's how exciting self-checkouts are!

I guess it's a lose-lose for me. Either my brain is on hyper drive, thinking non-stop, and I'm unable to know every thought that I've thunk... or it's slowed down and I don't have the energy to inspect them. I know I am rambling, but that's okay by me even if it's not okay by you, dear reader!

Today, however, my brain didn't want to be awake and function. So, while I was on the self-checkouts doing as little of work as possible, I recorded some of the bizarre thoughts I had. (I know, I said this already. But I don't feel like combing the paragraphs..lazy writing tonight, sorry.) I warn you, won't make much sense.. and they aren't related...I will try to make them legible and understandable just for you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had a customer complain to me that the grapes she bought rung up less than what they were priced at the display. What? Why would you complain that something is less than you thought??


....working class poor.... That's what we are..... (Can't make it better to read, sorry)

...Only as good/worthy as my abilities. Take my back. It's out of commission until further notice. Now that I can't cashier at 800 IPH regularly, they don't pay much attention to me, except to throw me on self-checkouts. I'm far more disposable now.....

...blah.....

...Six month old (could barely sit up by herself) being fed CHEETOS by her mother... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? If you can afford that junk, you can buy the child some nutritional snacks/meals!!!! Cheerios anyone? Or even a bottle!!!.........

......Reminds me of the poor babies I see in McDonalds eating broken up cheeseburgers and fries... again, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?....You should NEVER feed a child fast food, especially a BABY! God, just rubs me the wrong way all around. You are not doing the child any favors. If you feel the need to eat fast food yourself, bring the baby some baby food! It even comes in handy baby food jars!....WHAT IN HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE???....

....don't want clarity... I don't want to think...I just want to drift in detached dullness... the colors faded to shades of gray.....

.......Grrr...summertime again...someone should tell those pretty girls that less clothes is NOT more..unless you mean more self-berating on my part because of their perfect tans/bodies/hair....need not display all...feel very inadequate and ugly in the hot months....

Before you hit 'post comment', I don't want reassurance on my looks... I'm posting this sentence for my myspace readers, who like to comment. :) It was one of my thoughts, and a common one in the hot months, so I shared it just like the other thoughts.

DON'T FORGET, THOUGH, I LOVE COMMENTS AND KUDOS! :) SUBSCRIBING IS AWESOME AS WELL!!!!

Night all!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Visiting this rainy evening...

Hello dear reader on this dark, rainy, windy night...Come for a bit of a chat did you?

Well, pull up a nice comfy chair! Want some tea? Or perhaps cocoa? Sorry, I don't have any coffee in the house, I can't stand the smell of it! It honestly makes me sick to my stomach. I was looking forward to chatting with someone tonight. Just for a little bit though, I can't wait to hop in the hot shower and put on some comfy pj's........

I saw a member of a dying breed yesterday. I should've taken a picture, for this species is far and few between in this busy busy world that we are living in.

I went to Menard's with my mother to help her bring home a water fountain for the yard. We took my car, because her car is smaller than mine. Unfortunately, the box wouldn't fit into my car either. We were trying and trying to jam the box into the trunk, and were contemplating taking all the parts out of the box to get it home that way. We had even opened the box when I spotted it. A glimpse of a member of the dying breed of kind, helpful people. It seems like far too long between the sightings!

An older gentleman, with an SUV was pulling out of his parking spot saw us struggling with this and it was clear the box was not going to go in my car. So, he pulls up alongside us and asked us where we were going with it. We tell him where in town, which is just a few blocks from the mall, and he goes, "I'm heading past there, I can help you get it to your house."

I was shocked. Speechless, and honestly a bit worried. What kind of man is this? Who offers like that anymore to complete strangers?

I guess this world we are living in might have made me a bit too leery and distrustful, don't you think? I mean it's good to question things, but if it was just me there or a friend instead of my mother, I would've told him, "Thanks but I'll get it." And paid the delivery fee.

What's that? Oh, I got that particular drink mix from the cute little shop down the street. They have the greatest selection of drinks and munchies in town. Plus, they are pretty cheap! Not like the groceries that I bought tonight. I swear, every two weeks they raise prices on every item in the grocery store 25-50 cents! Pretty soon we will have to take out bank loans to get groceries! What a bad day that will be!

Oh, I've got a side thought for you. Might make you chuckle, or perhaps you may be a bit offended, but I hope not. If you are, perhaps you should get out a bit more on the weekends!

You see, I've been watching just a bit of TV lately. More than I usually do, which is once a week, but less than the normal person. I have been logging maybe two hours for every two days. Not bad. Anyway, I've been seeing commercials for the Star Wars Marathon that will be airing on the Spike TV network this weekend. Each and every time, I laugh to myself. For some reason, I can just see (not a pretty picture, I don't even want to linger on it) complete and utter nerds with pocket protectors and Urkel glasses whipping it out and squeezing one off in the thirty seconds that the commercial airs. I don't know why, but I think it has to do with the utter and COMPLETE controlling sci-fi nerd that I dated a couple of years ago. He had every star wars movie, every collectible he could get his hands on in his lifetime was stored at his parents.

I was his first girlfriend he had had. That should've tipped me off right then. I don't know why I stayed with him for two years, and almost married him. What a freakin' HUGE mistake that would've been.

Oh, now? Now, I am dating this wonderful man. We've been together two and a half years, and he makes me so very happy in every way. Going through a rough time right now, but we'll make it. And you, dear reader? What's going on in that department of your life?

Oh, look at the time, it's time for my shower and then off to bed after reading for a bit. I'm a bit of a homebody you know! What did you say? Oh, the drink? You're welcome! I love to chat over warm cups of drinks and catch up.

Here's your umbrella, better not forget that! The rain is letting up a bit, but you never know about five minutes from now! Please come again, I look forward to our next visit already!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

The ringtones currently on my phone...


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For some reason, it isn't loading on my computer unless I click 'pop out player', so if it doesn't work for you try that!

These are the songs that I have currently on my phone for assigned ring tones... Jeff's is "Livin' Our Love Song", K&M's is "Find Out Who Your Friends Are", Josh's is "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (Angry American), and family's is "Time Marches On". My work's is "Take this Job and Shove It", but I couldn't find that on this site!

I haven't been sleeping well lately..

Far too much dreaming going on lately!! I don't mind a dream or so a night.. but I've been remembering three, four, five dreams a night! It's like my mind won't shut up and let me rest! I wake up more tired than I was before I went to bed!



I've been having the weirdest dreams as well lately.. zombies, and ghosts..In one that I remember, I was living in this bigger house, with two stair cases going up to the same floor three rooms. Unfortunately, every time we tried using that hallway we would be attacked by ghosts! Except there was enough to these ghosts that they could kill us. So we bricked up the sliding glass doors that led to that hallway and had to be content with the HUGE living room/kitchen/marble bathroom and bedrooms. But then, the ghosts started flying in the front door on carriages. Soooooooooooo very odd!

I think the worst one was definately the one I had a few nights ago in which Jeff brought along another girl on his visit to come see me and explained it was his Lincoln girlfriend and in the dream they preceded to go out dancing and stuff without me, they stayed at K&M's without me and then he didn't know why I was mad! Then, later in the dream, he suggested we all have some 'fun' together! She was taller with shoulder length straight black hair. Thin, a model's body, and had piercings in unusual places...

The weirdest dream ever! Cause I know he would never have a second girlfriend, and never would I take part in a threesome! I like him all to myself!

Thoughts in my head from an hour or so ago....

I am tired... should lay down and go to sleep, but I don't want to. Should take a shower, but I don't want to..should catch up my blog.. but... (I bet you can see the trend here!)-----although, I am getting the motivation to do this, as you can see, dear reader!

Then, it was suggested to me that I just go to bed.. my response?

I don't want to lol....

I don't know what I want to do...nothing and everything at the same time..

---------------------------------------------------------------

What is wrong with me??? Dear reader, it feels like I am going nuts! Crazy, odd, unmotivated to do anything..

An Unusual Monday...

Last Monday started out like any other Monday. I was missing Jeff, working at the dungeon, when I get a call through to my voice mail. I couldn't answer it right away, but I went and listened to the voice mail quick, and to my surprise it was Josh!

I knew he was in town on leave for a few weeks, but didn't think I was going to get the chance to see him. I had been thinking that I didn't feel like driving all the way to Cedar Rapids when he left the voice mail saying he would be in town Monday night. So, of course, I wanted to have our mini-reunion before he headed off to his next tour of Iraq. Turns out, he didn't think I was going to show up! But I did, and man he hasn't changed much since when we were younger. Still the same good humor, and his laugh is definitely the same.

His mom didn't know how we had gotten back in contact, which was the result of my searching for him, Jeremy and Jonathon (his brothers) over the period of a couple of years. Josh and I hadn't see each other for about eight years.

Now, he is on the way to Iraq for another eight or nine months...

Okay, I am way behind in my blogging...

so I will attempt to catch it up slowly but surely!

The recap of the last two days of Jeff's visit:

I did stay Friday night and Saturday Night at K&M's, just to be able to be in Jeff's arms as I drifted off to sleep and to wake up in his arms each morning. I still don't understand really why he was so adamant about staying there and not here, but that is old news now, and there's nothing to be done to change that.

Saturday we tried to go disc golfing, but for some reason the road to the course was closed off. So, we hiked the trail to the Raptor Center and saw the birds that are kept there, for various reasons such as human imprinting and broken wings. **And as I was just reminded, Jeff carried me up the steep mountains piggy back. It's something that is becoming more and more common for us. My back hurts a lot sometimes, sometimes so badly that I can hardly walk. So, when it is like that when we are out and about and will be doing a lot of walking, he carries me. I forgot to put that in the first copy of this entry, most likely because I waited so long to blog about it and it was late. He is my knight in shining armor, and I don't outwardly appreciate enough of what he does for me. I am trying to work on that, because I hate it when I forget to do that! It makes me look (and feel) very bad as a girlfriend!**



(taken from the website, I wish the grass and trees were that green right now!)

Then, I came back home for a few hours to take a shower and then Kirk and Jeff played chess. Before bed that night, we watched One Hour Photo with Robin Williams. One of the movies that I really like, and Jeff hadn't seen it before.

Sunday morning, we woke up in each other's arms and did his laundry. Then it was time for him to go back home. I missed him terribly before he even arrived back home. It was wonderful to be able to kiss him and cuddle in his arms once more. I can't wait until we can do that every day again!

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Coralville, Iowa, United States