Tuesday, April 15, 2008

A year it's been...

....since things began going crazy in my life at a most alarming rate.

Why me? Why can't things go smoothly for me? Ever? Well, I suppose there are the good days, such as when I got rid of that insane guy I was with. And when I started dating Jeff. That was one of the best moments in my life :) I love him so much.

Anyway, I mean, I don't have to have a complete fairy tale life...but I want something to go right.

Instead, I find my self on the brink of what feels like full madness... going crazy. Tears and utter sadness threaten to overcome me some moments, more often what I think it should. This isn't a new thing, went on through most of high school, but lately it keeps catching me off guard, and I have to hide somewhere lest someone sees. Unless everyone is like this? I won't know, because if I were to ask, people would either lie (to me and perhaps themselves) or think I was ready for the loony bin. You never really know what's going on with people, I think. I try to be open, but it seems that I am blown off more often than not. But that's okay, I have my blog with which to write and express myself.

Speaking of never really knowing what's going on with people, I have heard the most horrible news at work. Late last week, apparently, the night CSM took his life. I knew him, not closely at all, but talked to him when I saw him. Never would have guessed. He was about two years younger than I. How very sad, and horrible.

I have more to blog, but I really just want to curl up in bed and sleep as long as possible (until six thirty when my alarm goes off I guess).

Will blog more later.

Night all.

By the way, don't get me wrong. I do have my happy moments as well, but it seems fewer and farther between lately. Like, I have decided to go back to college. Hopefully I can make it for the summer semester! And, when I get to talk to Jeff. That makes my day. And, I have my family, and my little bundles of fur which make me smile.

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Coralville, Iowa, United States