Ringtones..

My phone has a cool feature that I am sure many have now. I can choose any ring tone that I want (and is available) for different contacts in my phone book.

Here are the ones I have assigned so far:

(A very important one...) For Jeff's number, I have Taylor Swift's 'Our Song' Ring tone. I really recommend to everyone to take a listen of the whole song, just once. Even if you don't like country, it is a good song. I can't help but sing along with it (loudly) every time it comes on!)

"Our Song"
Taylor Swift

I was riding shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car
He's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel
The other on my heart
I look around, turn the radio down
He says baby is something wrong?
I say nothing I was just thinking how we don't have a song
And he says...

[Chorus:]

Our song is the slamming screen door,
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow
Cause it's late and your mama don't know
Our song is the way you laugh
The first date "man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have"
And when I got home ... before I said amen
Asking God if he could play it again

I was walking up the front porch steps after everything that day
Had gone all wrong and been trampled on
And lost and thrown away
Got to the hallway, well on my way to my lovin' bed
I almost didn't notice all the roses
And the note that said...

[Repeat Chorus]

I've heard every album, listened to the radio
Waited for something to come along
That was as good as our song...

Cause our song is the slamming screen door
Sneaking out late, tapping on his window
When we're on the phone and he talks real slow
Cause it's late and his mama don't know
Our song is the way he laughs
The first date "man, I didn't kiss him, and I should have"
And when I got home, before I said amen
Asking God if he could play it again

I was riding shotgun with my hair undone
In the front seat of his car
I grabbed a pen and an old napkin
And I wrote down our song
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For family calls, I have this song by Tracy Lawrence as the ring tone:
Time Marches On

Verse 1

Sister cries out, from her baby bed.
Brother runs in with feathers on his head.
Mama's in her room learnin how to sew.
Daddy's drinkin beer listenen to the radio.
Hank Williams sings Kaw-Liga and Dear John
Time marches on, time marches on.

Verse 2

Sister's using rouge and clear complection soap.
Brother's wearin beads and he smokes alot of dope.
Mama is depressed barely makes a sound.
Daddy's got a girlfriend in another town.
Bob Dylan sings like a Rolling Stone.
Time marches on, time marches on.

Bridge

South moves north, North moves south
A star is born, a star burns out.
the only thing that stays the same is everything
changes, everything changes.

Verse 3

Sister calls herself a sexy grandma.
Brother's on a diet for high cholesterol.
Mama's out of touch with reality.
Daddy's in the ground beneath the maple tree.
As the Angles sing an old Hank Williams song.
Time marches on, time marches on. Time marches on, time
marches on. Time marches on. Time marches on.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And finally, for friends calling I have this great song also by Tracy Lawerence

Title: Find Out Who Your Friends Are

Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare

This is where the rubber meets the road
This is where the cream is gonna rise
This is what you really didn't know
This is where the truth don't lie

{Chorus}
You find out who your friends are
Somebody's gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think 'what's in it for me?' or 'it's way too far'
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who your friends are

Everybody wants to slap your back
wants to shake your hand
when you're up on top of that mountain
But let one of those rocks give way then you slide back down look up
and see who's around then

This ain't where the road comes to an end
This ain't where the bandwagon stops
This is just one of those times when
A lot of folks jump off

{Chorus}

When the water's high
When the weather's not so fair
When the well runs dry
Who's gonna be there?

{Chorus}

You find out who your friends are
(yeah, yeah)
You find out who your friends are

Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
(Well man, I've been there)
Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare
(Man, I've been there)

Man, I've been there
Oooh yeah.

One dollar!!

I did my tax returns tonight. And the end result? I get a total of ONE DOLLAR back from my state taxes!!! WOOHOO!!! *laughs* I better not spend that all in one place!!!

That isn't even enough for one bottle of water. Not even enough for a spool of thread lol. Maybe I will use it to get one bag of kitty treats, that may be just enough.

Ever since I did the taxes earlier this evening, I've been walking around the house, finding myself muttering, "One dollar!" every so often. I think that is the government's way of going, "nah, nah, nah! You can't say that you had to pay in, you got a refund! Never mind it is the smallest refund anyone can get, but you got one!"

Crazy, isn't it? Better then paying in, like I had to last year, I guess!

Before I forget To Mention It (again)..

If you remember my indecision about what to do about the comatose and dying (or already dead, if you may) friendship that I didn't know how to draw to conclusion, I took care of it.

I took the steps to remove her from my e-mail lists, my myspace friend list, and don't accept calls from her number. (which I was already doing, or not doing I guess you would say.)

If you have absolutely no clue what I am talking about, and wish you did... the entry is titled ' I feel like chomping down on a big bag of M&M's..." and was written just a few days ago.

NOW, it is bedtime :P I was heading there, and then remembered I hadn't recorded that bit of problem solving in here.

Night and sweet dreams
Seana

Near Heart Attack...

Brrrrrrrrrrrr................ I am cold.. I was just about to blog for a few minutes before bed, but I think i will get a glass of hot tea first...


Got it. Now I am here. To blog for just a minute or so.

I have to work 8-5 tomorrow. (Like I did yesterday and today, and will have to on Thursday and Friday.) Yuck.

I about had a heart attack earlier. I changed the cat litter, and took it upstairs to dispose of it. I opened the door to the garage, turned on the light, and about hit the ceiling. The light had sent a black furry THING scurrying across the garage floor from right in front of the door I was opening to the trashcans across the space. I shrieked, and somehow ended up five feet from the door to in front of my car. I didn't see it again right away, so I bolted back inside the house, hitting the garage door opener on my way in so it could get out if it desired, (and knew what was good for it.) My brother was in the kitchen, and asked me what that noise was.

I told him what had given me a near heart attack, and he says, very nonchalantly, "Oh the mouse? I think it's been in there for about a month."

Say what???? It could've bolted into the house any number of times in the last month. And I let my puppy run in there when I go out to the garage sometimes. It could've bitten her. :(

So, I called mom and warned her, so she would be prepared for a close heart attack if the mouse decided to pop out at her as well. She's going to buy traps tonight.

This would explain the piles of birdseed that I keep cleaning up.

Anywho, that was the freaky highlight of my day today. How fun.

Now, it is time for bed, and time to escape reality while dreaming of my love.

Good night

I made my first pillow...

woohoo!! It's not the best pillow in the world, but it is made by me, from my own imagination!!

I used part of an old pillow case, and resewed it, the purple pattern on the front is actually an old handkerchief...I stuffed it, and added the purple lace as a finishing touch. I am rather pleased with myself!

Now, it's bedtime..

Night night all!

100 truths

1. last beverage: water
2. last phone call? jeff
3. last person you hugged? Jeff
4. last time you cried? a couple of weeks ago
5. last text message sent? Becky

SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
1. dated someone twice? no
2. been cheated on? yes
3. kissed someone & regretted it? yes
4. lost someone special? yes
5. been depressed? yes
6. been drunk and threw up? nope

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
1. silver
2. purple
3. red

THIS MONTH HAVE YOU:
1. Made a new friend? no
2. Fallen out of love? no, I am madly in love with Jeff.
3. Laughed until you cried? no
4. Met someone who changed your life? no
5. Found out who your true friends were? yes
6. Is there something you want to tell someone? yes

RANDOMS:
1. What did you do for your last birthday? I went to Lammasfest with Jeff and worked my birthday weekend.

2. What time did you wake up today? 10:00
3. What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping

4. Name something you CANNOT wait for? January 18th, 2008, Jeff's next visit

5. Last time you saw your father? Ummm... early December? Saw him at my work for a few minutes

6. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? Lack of a direction, the place that I work at... (I know, that's two :P But they are related!)

7. What are you listening to right now? The interstate, my cat purring

001.Birthday: Aug 7
002. Nicknames: N/a
003. Siblings: Leon, Meghan, Lindsay, April, Jeffrey, Jeremy
005. Male or female : female
010. Your Hair color : brunette
011. Long or short : medium
012. Are you health freak? no
016. Height : 5' 1
017. Do you have a crush on someone? Does having a crush on your boyfriend count?
018. Do you like yourself: not really
019. Piercings: just my ears
020. Tattoos: 0
021. Righty or lefty? righty

FIRSTS :
022. First surgery: I don't think I had any, but I hit my head A LOT growing up lol
023. First piercing: ears
024. First best friend: Amber and Grace
025. First award: no idea
026. First boyfriend/girlfriend: Mike
027. First pet? My cat Midnight
028. First vacation? Don't remember
029. First concert? Pam Tillis
030. First crush? Danny something-or other.. went to middle school with him

CURRENTLY :
049. Eating? nothing
050. Drinking? water
052. I'm about to: brush my hair and getting ready for bed
053. Taking a dump? um....no
055. Waiting for? the end of this survey lol
058. Want kids? someday, maybe
059. Want to get married? yes
060. Careers in mind? ummm... I'll have to get back with you on that


(what happened to numbers 61-71???)

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE PREFERRED SEX? :

072. Romantic or spontaneous: both!
074. Sensitive or loud : depends on the surroundings...
075. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
077. Trouble maker or hesitant : a mix of both

HAVE YOU EVER?

078. Kissed a stranger? no
079. Drank hard liquor: no
080. Lost glasses/contacts: yes
081. Ran away from home: no
084. Broken someone's heart : no
085. Been arrested?: no, and I don't plan on it!
086. Turned someone down: uh yeah...
087. Cried when someone died: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself : sometimes...
090. Miracles?: sometimes...
091. Love at first sight: yes, it's happened to me, and I am ever so happy!
092. Heaven: not really
093. Santa Clause: when I was little
095. Kiss on the first date: no usually, unless love at first sight (or first couple of sightings ;) ) happens!
096. Angels: no, spirits/ghosts yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? yes
098. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? no
099. Do you believe in God? not really
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? in my blogs

Whatever happened to being neighborly and helping one another out?

On the 'community site' that I frequent the most, there is a Mumm (Make up my mind) discussion section. A lady made a mumm that went like this:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I have some new neighbors that are kinda getting on my nerves already. Our daughters are friends but they have started sending their kids here to play uninvited plus needing rides and even needed to borrow a cup of sugar....Who does that now days...geez sugar is cheap!


So....what would y'all do?

A...go ahead and nip it right now!
or
B. try to be nice and hope it'll get better once they get settled in"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I responded a few times. The first time I said, "be neighborly? Maybe in their previous neighborhood they really counted on their neighbors for help. I'd wait to see if it gets better once they are settled in.."

But then I thought about it, and went back to the Mumm. Another lady had posted," Oh my gosh for you to be upset over a cup of sugar that is so awful. They might not have any money at all and really needed it and thought that you would be nice to give it to them....too bad I don't know your neighbor, I would tell them not to associate with you because you're such a shallow person. As far as the kids go, if they're aren't bothering you, why be so petty.......geeze girl get a life!~"

To which the original poster had replied,"For Jennifer...read the whole thing...they bum rides and sen kids here for hours if I let em...etc. I gave them the sugar and I'm not a greedy person but I'm not their taxi nor baby sitter! If you like, I'll send em your way and look for an upcoming mumm from you on the topic...sound good to you?"

To me, it sounds like she already has made up her mind long before she posted the question. She just wants verification to her stand of non-neighborliness. I would hate to be her neighbor!! Even when we lived in the *mobile home court*, we were pretty good neighbors with everyone around us. We lent food back and forth, the parents watched each others kids, and we gave ride back and forth.

I then posted, "Still, there are far worse neighbors out there. (In response to your response to Jennifer: Isn't it enough to be helping someone else out that may really really need it? What if they are short on food supplies? Maybe the children are really really grating on their nerves, and they need a break before they go insane?

It's much better to send the children to the neighbors where there is an adult present, then to send them to the park anymore. They could be abducted, or hurt in someway. It's happening more and more.

To discuss solutions, maybe you could invite them over for dinner or just a quick cup of coffee and talk about going back and forth for playdates, and maybe make arrangements where they can pay you a little for the rides."

Her response to that was, "Well, in response..I gotta say this.....I have 3 kids 3,7,16 yrs of age and I am on a set budget myself, not that I'm hurting in any way but my whole point is, I've met them, she even has my # yet she never uses it, they've been there about a month or two even and it's something new every week. I'm a single mom who gets very lil breaks so ....go from there and figure out the rest...."

I'm not going to get into an online battle with the lady, but maybe she should try to help others have the breaks that she hasn't gotten. Make life a little easier for those around her. It will come back to her someday, I am sure.

Found my car keys!!!! Woohoo!!!! That's all for now, but I just knew that my dear readers were on the edge of their seats in the Saga of the Lost Car Keys! *laugh* Well, most likely you weren't biting your nails over the looming outcome of whether they would be found or not, but just in case: I found them! They were in the pocket of a pair of pants I was wearing the last day I worked(Wednesday).

That's all for now

Nothing really exciting to write about today. I worked 9-6 today, (well, 9:30-6) I was extremely late this morning. I, like usual, couldn't find my stupid car keys. Yeah, I'm hopeless!!!! I am going to find them this weekend, and hang them on a hook right inside my bedroom door. It's a good thing I don't have to work this weekend, that's for sure!!

I didn't have to cashier at all today, although the CSM's weren't happy about that. They are so used to pulling me up there every day usually about an hour after I arrive and keeping me there for the rest of my shift. It drives me crazy, and really makes me angry. I wasn't hired for cashiering, I don't like to cashier, and it hurts my back. But do they care? Nope. I am just another piece of equipment to them.

The reason I didn't have to cashier is because when I arrived today, we had about 500 price changes that had to be done today. Mostly on the slipper wall, which was OH SO MUCH FUN to do!! Not really..

Came home, and moved the files from the old rolling file cabinet to the new wood one in the office. I ended up shredding a whole bag of papers! I will probably shred more in the coming days, but I actually made the shredder shut down twice, and I didn't want to overheat it too much in one night. That basically took me to 10:00, by the time I filed everything, vacuumed the floor, and cleaned up my mess.

The rest is mundane, I came down and got ready for bed. Checked my e-mail and wrote this blog while talking to Jeff. I love that man with all of my heart!

Now it is bedtime, and sleep beckons!

Today was busy, once it got going. I was up and ready to do errands and the like by ten. (Normally it is about that time on my days off when I am ready to face the world.) Apparently, however, the world wasn't ready to face me.

The short of the story:
Mom was having her furniture delivered today. She saved up her spending money and bought an office set. The purchase actually came earlier then what she had planned. We really wanted my friend Erin to get the commission on it, and I found out she is moving to Minneapolis next week, which is why it happened now. Then she's going to India in February to get married, and coming back to the states afterward.

Anyway, it was supposed to be delivered by mid-morning. Mid-morning came and went. So did late morning. I finally called the store around 12:30, apparently missed the store and got the bitch from HELL. She claimed that we were not scheduled for delivery until mid-afternoon (even though our order form said mid-morning along with the answering machine.) She bluntly told me that that's why delivery is free, because they cannot pinpoint the arrival time. Ummmm... noooo delivery is free only after you purchase over x-amount of dollars in one order. She also said that the truck had broken down, and everything had to be transferred to another one before the day could start. (Found out from the delivery guys that that wasn't the case, the truck just froze up for a few hours and wouldn't start. No transferring of furniture was done.) Then, right before she HUNG UP on me, she informed me she had seen no reason to call and let us know about the delay. Needless to say, the store manager got a visit from us after the delivery guys left. I have to say, they were very nice and helpful when they finally came as was the manager.

After that lovely experience, we headed out on our errands and such. The usual run includes the bank and various stores. My favorite local store at the moment, (not including 'Steve and Barry's' in Cedar rapids,) is 'Granny's Antique and Consignment'.) That is where I have been taking my extra stuff that I don't need or dust collectors that I don't even look at. I found some more pretty fabric and buttons in the sewing area. I will definitely take a picture of some of it in the next day or two and post it.

Speaking of sewing and crafts, I definitely am going to start doing my sewing and beading again by the end of this weekend. I want to schedule regular time for me to sit down and work on it. I have various projects for both floating around my head. Before I can do much in beading, however, I need a pair of crimping pliers. I don't know how much they run, but I won't be able to get any until next week. I was hoping some would appear in the sewing section at Granny's the last few times that I have gone, but no luck. I don't even know what they look like! I guess I will find out when I buy them from Wal-mart, huh? *laugh*

This evening we set up the furniture to her liking, and I successfully hooked the computer back up right the first time!! Yeah! That's a big accomplishment for me! It looks rather nice in there now. I'll post a picture when she gets it just the way she wants it. Perhaps I will post a before and an after, that might be interesting. She is going to paint the walls a different color some time as well.

Then I took an amazingly relaxing shower, and had a vegetable tortilla shell. Yum yum. I broke down earlier today, and had a Big Mac, medium fry, and Diet Coke for lunch. It was delicious, but not conducive to healthy eating in the slightest! While at Micky-D's, I noticed a rather interesting certificate on the wall. It stated they had won the Corridor award for best eating establishment for kids in the area. I personally don't think that is the best thing to do, award the certificate to an eating establishment that promotes unhealthy eating and obesity...

Now, it is just about time to say good night, I have been writing this and talking to Jeff for about an hour now. I have to work at 9 in the morning, yuck! I also will be cashiering, I can almost guarantee it! The best news is that a certain assistant manager should be GONE for good now! I heard today was her last day!!! Woohoo! I did not get along with her at all.. she's a bit full of herself and seems to think that she is the only important figure in the store. Very happy to think about that.

I also have this weekend off. Two days in a row to sleep in! That will be heaven. Speaking of sleep, I'm heading off to lala land now..

Good night!

I feel like chomping down on a big bag of M&M's. No relevant to anything, really, just had to say it. I think that would totally blow my efforts of the last week --to eat healthier and cut out most of the sweets out of my overall diet--totally out of the water. By the way, it's not an actual diet, I just used that word for lack of a better one. I meant all the food that I consume. I resolved to start eating better a week or so ago, I was drinking waaaaaaaaaay to much Pepsi, and eating far to many sweets and hot pockets and little else.

You know the saying, "Boyfriends come and go, but friends are forever"? Well, I think it's the opposite for me. I am with the love of my life, been over two years now. I am head over heels, madly in love, crazy for him. He's stuck with me, no matter what! We wouldn't have it any other way either.

On the other hand, I have this other friend named Jennifer. I have known her since the first day of third grade. (Along with a third girl named Jenny as well. We were an inseparable threesome, until around ninth/tenth grade. That's when the other Jenny started diving into being a slut and slept with every sleazy guy she could. I dropped that friendship rather quickly because I couldn't associate with her after that, my morals clashed with the lack of hers. Jennifer dropped the friendship between them by the end of our junior year.)

Anyway, Jennifer and I were close growing up and all the way through high school, through the bad event of her miscarriage the year after high school and bad breakups on both sides. However, it seems like she is still stuck in our teen years. She doesn't seem to know how to handle it when things go wrong. If someone lies to her or deliberately hurts her in some way, she doesn't know how to react. For a couple of years now, I have felt us drift further apart, and I don't think there is anything to be done about it. We each have separate lives, and don't fit into each other's like we used to. She doesn't know how to hold a job, she listens to hearsay about her husband, off again/on again wanting to break up with him. As far as I can see, he's the best thing to happen to her EVER, but she's going to screw it up.

It just feels like the friendship has served it's purpose in the whole scheme of things, and I know that if I hadn't been friends with her throughout school, then I wouldn't be now. If I met her somewhere tonight, it wouldn't strike me to continue the acquaintance any further then the end of the evening.

Does that sound horrible? I am just stating it how I see it, and how I feel. Believe me, I have been rolling it around in my head for a couple of years without realizing it. I have been seriously thinking about it for the last few months.

Do I just delete her off of my Myspace and email lists, and ignore her calls, or what? I have no desire to talk to her at all...

My all time favorite Michael Jackson Video

The video above is 'Ghosts' by MJ, and was put out in the late '90's....

Yeah, I won't ever deny it. I am and forever will be a MJ fan. I have been since I was two years old, when I got my first glimpse of Thriller as my mom was flipping through the channels when the video was playing that fall. Ever since, every Halloween for 21 years, I have watched Thriller at least five times each year. I have it on VHS.

It must have been adorable to see, because I would beg mom to turn it on when I was very little around Halloween, but then keep my eyes covered for most of the time, whenever the zombie were present, and when he turns around in the very end, with those scary yellow cat eyes! My eyes would watch it between the fingers of my hands which would invariably open just wide enough for me to see the screen...

Last entry of 2007

And not much to say.. well, I have tons to say, I just don't feel like writing tonight. And I don't feel well...

So it's off to bed for me.. See you all next year!!!

My new loves in retail and food...

My new favorite place to shop!!!! It's reasonable, with tons of nice clothes to choose from! You may recognize the name from a few other entries in this blog....


My new 'must-have' brand, definitely better then my old favorites (Metro 7 and Mudd)... I have loved everything I have tried on from this line. Granted, I don't own everything that I have tried on, but that's only because I don't have enough money!!!

It's designed by Sarah Jessica Parker (Sex In the City actress), and is a great line. Definitely going to get more!!!

Lastly, my newest food love is...............water! Go figure, huh? I was walking out of the back room a few days ago freshly deciding that I need to eat healthier and stop eating so much crap. Then I see the vendors setting up a brand new pallet of SmartWater. We now carry it at our store. I grabbed the first bottle to be sold off of it, and absolutely love it!

It's just water, you may say. But it tastes delicious!! It doesn't hurt that Jennifer Aniston is the spokeswoman for it! *giggles* My dear reader, you know I am a HUGE fan of her!

It tastes smoother somehow, then some other bottled water, and each bottle holds four servings of water. I was downing way too much Pepsi, so this is a MUCH better alternative!

A wrap up of the rest of the last week....

I last blogged on Wednesday. The next day, Thursday (Yes, Yes, here's your sign lol), we got up leisurely and had some cereal. Then we went off to do a walk of the mall in Lincoln. The first wing of the mall that we were in, I saw a store with an awesome liquidation sale in progress. Steve and Barry's it was called, and everything was $8.98. When I say everything, I do mean EVERYTHING. I had some extra money left in my account yet, so I figured I could buy me some new clothes, and had a fun time exploring the store. Jeff helped me find some cute tops, and I bought a couple of hoodies for work. I get up to the counter, and pulling out my debit card when Jeff took over and paid for my purchase. He wanted to treat me to it as a Christmas present. He is so wonderful to me, and not because of the monetary things, but because of how loving, caring, sweet and wonderful he is to me.

After we left Steve and Barry's, we walked a bit further and came across Gamestop, so we went in. He pointed out a computer game that he had been wanting, so I bought it for him. Later, however we found out that the code didn't work, so he had to take it back and exchange it for another game. Bummer :( We took the bags out to the car, so that we wouldn't have to carry them all around the mall.

We were about halfway through the perimeter of the mall when we came upon the pretty dress store. We had gone in there together the week that I gone to Nebraska and we started dating. I hadn't taken 10 steps into the store when my eyes laid upon this GORGEOUS red dress. I immediately swept it off the rack and tried it on. I had to have it because it was just what I had been looking for and I liked it so much. Again, Jeff paid for it.. He didn't have to, but he did.

Yet another trip to the car, and then we hit the food court. I got a yummy smoothie from a combination Orange Julius/DQ and a hot dog that was in need of help of some kind. It definitely wasn't the best, but he shared some of his chicken taco thingy with me while we played chess. I actually won!!!!!! I won't gloat much, I just thought I should record that for posterity, *giggles*.

Then we hit the new arcade area, and had had plenty of mall exposure, so it was home again for us. We stopped at Wal-Mart for some barbecue sauce on the way, and he saw someone he knew in high school, but hadn't seen since. That brought on the whole "Oh, is that your wife?" called out by her from the speedy checkout ahead of us. Then came what felt like the violent shake of his head, as if to vehemently protest that idea. "My girlfriend". It bugged me the rest of the afternoon, though I didn't mention it. It seems to just be a small recurrence of the mistyping in the IM between marriage/massage that you may recall from a few weeks ago, my dear reader. If you look back to the entry from December 12th entitled, "I can tell by my stat counter that I don't have any visits...", you'll now know what I am talking about. I am sure it is nothing to worry about, I just am a worry wart. I know he loves me, and I am his and he is mine.. and I am so in love with that man!

Anywho, after we got home, I attempted to take a nap, but it didn't work very well. We had supper with his mother, and then went back to his room to play some more Super Nintendo. Then it was HOT TUB time! Woohoo! I want one of those things someday. We sat in it and talked about meteors and comets, and then he ran down to the snow and rolled around. Man, did he make a mad dash back to the tub! Before we got out, I ran down to the snow with him, but then he threw snow at me as we were running back. Oh well, it was more minutes in the hot tub to warm up again!

We slept soon after, curled up tight next to each other, his arms tightly around me. That is the BEST way to sleep!

Friday morning was filled with packing my car up again, doing my laundry, and getting as many kisses and hugs in as possible. The drive home was pretty mundane and unexciting, except I thought I had somehow driven into the movie 'The Mist'. At any minute,I was expecting to have huge spider creatures stomp past or nasty bugs flying at my windshield. I got home safe anyway.

Quickest recap of the weekend ever: I was off on Saturday, and just sat around. Sunday, I worked 1-10 and cashiered a lot of that. Blech.

Yesterday was Christmas Eve, and I worked 9-6:30. Becky and I spent the last two or so hours in jewelry, checking people out. Fun Fun. Came home, and then Leon told me that he had to work today, on Christmas, after he told us over and over that he didn't have to, because they would be closed. Something fishy there. So we did gifts last night, and played a game of my new Monopoly: here and now game.

Today we had our Christmas dinner of t-bone (didn't impress me much), mashed potatoes (which I don't really like), five cup salad (yum!), corn (double yum!), and for desert apple pie!!!!) Cleaned up the kitchen and spent the rest of the day taking down the inside holiday decorations. Still have a few to go, but oh well. Also watched a lot of Comedy Central's stand up comics (3 out of 4 of the blue collar comedy tour-Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engval, Ron White; the guy who is a great ventriloquist) and then watched "I know who killed me" with Lindsey Lohan. That movie was pretty good in my opinion.

And there is the sum of the last week or so.. I wanted to get this caught up before I forget all of my thoughts and events... Dear reader, I hope it didn't put you to sleep! But sleep is where I do head next, for I need to hide away from the waking world for awhile.

What a wonderful time it has been so far!

This has been the best week so far! I came to Nebraska on Monday.. and have had a blast with Jeff. It is so wonderful to be spending time with him again. I came here early, (as a surprise, I was going to come in on Tuesday, but wanted to surprise him). We had a wonderfully relaxing evening on Monday. I showed up just as they were leaving to go get his mom's new TV, so I went with them. After we got back, we watched Ocean's Thirteen. That movie was awesome. (which mysteriously appeared on his DVD shelf. I don't know how that happened? )

Yesterday we went into town to get his mother's and Tyler's Christmas gifts. We came back and I took a nap as he started dinner. Then we had dinner with his mom, and after that we watched the second new movie I got him for Christmas, The Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie, which truly would be confusing to anyone not used to the show's characters and series. Later on, I gave him his last two gifts. One was a nice pocketknife that he liked a lot. I choose wonderfully, I believe. :) Then I couldn't wait any longer to give him his last gift. It was a nice pocket watch. I was leery about it because it wasn't a windup one. But he seemed to really like it as well! Afterward, we watched American Psycho. I really really like that movie! Of course, the more gory a movie, the better it is, in my opinion. How strange am I? LOL, I love gory gory movies, as long as they don't hurt animals in the plot.

Today has been a full day already! He made me breakfast in bed :), which is just another example of how wonderful and sweet he is. Then I took a shower, and he did dishes. Afterwards, we went to town and he showed me where he goes to class. Following that, we went to a cute little coffee house and played a great game of chess. I don't know how I did it, but I actually won! We are going to have a rematch however.. Maybe tonight after dinner.

I fully recommend "The Mist" movie, based on Stephen King's novella. If you have read the book like I have, you will see a few major plot omissions in the first ten minutes of the film. However, if you stick with it, it turns out to be a very dark, eerie, and GREAT film. The end is far different from the book, in the case that there is an ACTUAL close to the film. The book didn't have a true ending, which bugged me when I read the book a few months ago.

We just arrived back home a few minutes ago, probably closer to a half hour ago now that I looked at the clock! I have been typing this, and he has been outside scraping more of the ice off of the sidewalk. It took me a few minutes to remember what email and password combination I used on my blogger account. I don't know why I always forget my sign on information for every single website account I have.. its rather annoying. It's a good thing I have my computer remember that sort of thing. I had to email Kimmy for my Fubar login information.

All sorts of crazy news going on right now. A chemical plant in Florida had an explosion, abuse case in a prison comes to light, a ten year arrested for taking a steak knife to school to cut her lunch meat. Yes, you read that right. A ten year old ARRESTED for taking a kitchen utensil to school with her. She's facing a weapons charge of some sort, and a ten day suspension from school. Oh yeah, and Jaime Lynn Spears is pregnant. Oh boy, don't we have better things to talk about??

Two days until i get to leave to see Jeff! Woohoo!! *giggles* I had to record this right away for some reason. I just got out of the shower, and I'm still in my towel!! Off I go to get ready for work... blech... But yesterday wasn't too bad at work. I cashiered all day.. a broken bottle of wine on the floor behind me for like three hours (no maintenance ever came to clean it up). Other cashiers tried hard to pick up the mess, but they were new and didn't realize where the spill stations are. I finally finished cleaning up the broken glass and soaked paper towels when I came back from lunch. Ah well... such is the day in the life of retail..

off to bed i go.. i wasn't planning on posting that as a blog entry, but as I was viewing my blog I noticed that I had thirteen entries for the month. I couldn't let it stay at that number for a day and let bad luck in. So I am posting this as a global good night and sweet dreams :P

night all!

seana

Woohoo!! I got a few early Christmas presents from mom today! They are so pretty! You can't see them in the pictures very clearly, but the first one is silver with pink and purple stones. The second one is a pair of silver earrings with CZ stones, and sort of dangly, and the third one is a gorgeous created ruby set with dangling earrings, a necklace and a pretty ring. It's actually gold, I don't usually like gold, but this set is soooo pretty. I saw it in the jewelry case at work, and fell in love with it immediatley. Mom had already boughten this set before I saw the set at work. So that was a perfect choice for me. So, early presents for me!! Yeah!!

I went to my favorite consignment/antique shop on Thursday, and oh my god, I must say I found the coolest thing out. They actually have a small sewing section, filled with everything with baggies full of thimbles, to Antique looming thread, to bolts of fabric. It was sooo cool! I never paid that much attention to that part of the store before. I have pursued the fabrics and crafts section of Wal-Mart countless times in the last few weeks, but everything cost more money then I have it seems. So anyway, in the space of about ten minutes I collected an armful of sewing notions and took it up to the counter. And voila!!! Everything in the picture only cost me a mere $10.02! How cool is that! I have a huge panel of cream silky fabric and a panel of white silky fabric that will be ideal for purse linings. I also got that funky blue and white fabric (in the upper left corner), and mucho felt pieces. I thought I might be able to experiment with those and make Christmas ornaments out of them. I saw a how-to on another blog. A lot of what you see on the right half of the picture is various colors & amounts of trim. I got curious after I bought it all &when I was waiting for my mom to come out of Autozone I counted. I have 39 yards of trim total in packages that haven't even been opened yet! Of course, some of it is at least 20 years old, but still looks as good as it did the day it was first sold! Someone must have had LOADS of sewing stuff! Oh yeah, when I was going through the sewing section (in awe)I came across this awesome fabric: Is that not the prettiest?? It's red and is embroidered with red and green flowers. So pretty!! I'm going to save it for when I am very good at sewing and make a pretty dress or skirt out of it. I am only in the very beginning stages of learning how to do it properly and right. I came up with the idea today that sewing clothes and modifying them is like making a work of art that you can wear. I thought that was just a tad bit clever :P So anyway, when I was going through my closet last week, I came up with a rather large bag of clothing that I never wear, and probably never will. I was going to donate it to Goodwill, but decided to save it for the pieces that I can take the zippers or buttons from. Then the rest, I will modify into pieces that I will wear. I have a grey short sleeve top that is made out of sweater material that it's neckline drives me crazy! So I think, I might modify it into a large shoulder bag or a halter top. I haven't decided yet. I also came across my second pair of jean capri's that I didn't wear because the ends weren't hemmed, and they looked rather bland. So I looked at them, and I looked at the strips of lace I had hanging from my mannequin, and back at the capri's. The idea for my first sewing 'project' appeared in my head. I got to work with the lace, the capri's, and my machine. The end result? Rather pretty and I love them now!!!!

Three and a half days and I make the trip to Nebraska to see Jeff. Woohoo!!! I am excited, and I get to kiss him again and cuddle, and be so close to him again. I love him!

That is all for now, just had to express myself for a few words......

Seana

woohoo! Nyquil did its job, a little to well honestly. Now I'm running behind. i wanted to be up at nine to go get my check, errands and be back by four for the insurance adjuster for the roof.... I best be going.. later!

Time to Nyquil myself to sleep. I don't know if I will make it to my bed and sleep soon if I don't use the extra measure. My head hurts.. and I have been sneezing off and on in fits for the last half an hour! grrrr.. sneezing is not fun...

good night dear reader...

I can tell by my stat counter that I don't have any visits...

from anyone I know to my blog.. how interesting. After a few different people said "Of course, I read it! It's interesting...." I thought that wasn't right, and that was one of the reasons for the stat counter, just to see who really reads it. It is all mine to write whatever I want, and to use my blog to work through various thoughts and problems that I have.

Well, I don't have to 'worry' about him getting down on one knee with a ring and a declaration of love forever anytime soon. That was proven to me via conversation just a bit ago. Nice to see that it needs clarification so quickly.. Freudian slip? Or perhaps just an innocent slip of typing? Or a bit of wishful thinking on my part? We do say forever and ever a lot.. and I don't plan on going anywhere, I believe he is around to stay as well.

Excerpt from the convo: (and the part that showed me where things possibly stand is in red, 10:12-10:13)
me (10:02:16 PM): that would be wonderful
him(10:02:38 PM): maybe someday soon we can kiss
him (10:03:00 PM): oh yeah, just 4 days and 3 half days
me (10:03:38 PM):
Seana P (10:03:49 PM): forever it seems
him(10:06:10 PM): but it is soon
him(10:06:28 PM): my my kisses will pour on you like a summer rain
me (10:07:09 PM): ooohhh
me (10:07:10 PM):
him (10:07:38 PM): and I can love you forever
me (10:09:33 PM): ooohhhhhh that is even better
him (10:12:46 PM): better still, a nice long marrage and snuggling and cuddling
me (10:13:04 PM): oohhh the 'm' word..
me (10:13:09 PM):
me (10:13:21 PM): snuggling and cuddling and loving forever?
me (10:13:23 PM): with you?
him (10:13:27 PM): I'm sorry baby, I meant massage
me (10:13:27 PM): where do I sign up?
me(10:13:41 PM): i can sign up for that as well
me (10:13:44 PM): massages forever?
him (10:13:53 PM): I wouldn't tease you
me (10:14:15 PM): massages from you, and cuddling
me (10:14:20 PM): that's an awesome offer
him(10:15:01 PM): yes, massages forever
him (10:15:23 PM): and hopefully, someday I can make you my own
him (10:15:55 PM): but I wouldn't mention it so breifly and nonchalauntly
me (0:16:20 PM): i know
me (10:16:45 PM): so what do you have planned for the rest of the night my love?

I'm pretty close to fed up... like really really close.. like craziness here. Not here in the physical world, but in my mind and how people act. RAWRR...............

I wanna do all!

I was listening to Terri Clark's 'I wanna do it all' and I got to thinking... If I could do ANYTHING in the world, no financial limits, no responsibility to worry about, I would definitely want to do/or experience the following:

1. Travel
2. write a novel
3. Learn how to horseback ride
4. record a song
5. See the pyramids (and go inside!)
6. Meet Reba McEntire and Michael Jackson (Lifelong fan of both, "Fancy" and "Thriller" were the first songs that I learned how to sing!
7. Live in New York City for a year
8. Live in San Fransisco
9. Work for a charity
10. Take in poor animals that otherwise would be euthanized because of no good homes
11. Have a family
12. Visit a Cherokee reservation (I'm half Cherokee)
13. Research my ancestors and build my family tree. Learn about my heritage.
14. Have my own clothing line. I've been drawing neat outfits since high school, just got my first sewing machine this week!
15. Have a successful marriage
16. Have sexy pictures taken of me professionally that I actually like
17. go on a road trip with no predetermined destination
18. Rock Climb
19. Learn another language
20. Go to Mardi Grai
21. Learn how to knit
22. Learn how to dance-proper ballroom dancing...salsa.. not the gyrating crazy dancing.. :P
23. work from home


I'm sure I will have more... this was just all that came to mind while I was listening to the song

GooGoo Dolls
Slide


Could you whisper in my ear
The things you wanna feel
I'll give you anything
To feel it comin'

Do you wake up on your own
And wonder where you are
You live with all your faults

Chorus:
I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide

Yeah we're gonna let it, slide

Don't you love the life you killed
The priest is on the phone
Your father hit the wall
Your ma disowned you

Don't suppose I'll ever know
What it means to be a man
Something I can't change
I'll live around it

Chorus

And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that fall
May put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
May do you wanna get married
Or run away

And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that fall
May put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
May do you wanna get married
Or run away

Chorus

How I feel today...

Matchbox Twenty Lyrics

Unwell

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

[chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you cant tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

Im talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow Ive lost my mind

[chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you cant tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Ive been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

[chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you cant tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

its freakin' snowing nonstop outside.. and probably very cold.. I haven't been outside yet today and don't plan on it...I'm still in my pjs!

i'm such a loser.. I'm un-motivated, can't get up the motivation to accomplish ANYTHING....... I'm a bust at school.. I'm not good for anything...

I'm A Loser-Beatles Lyrics

I'm a loser
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be

Of all the love I have won or have lost
there is one love I should never have crossed
She was a girl in a million, my friend
I should have known she would win in the end

I'm a loser
And I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be

Although I laugh and I act like a clown
Beneath this mask I am wearing a frown
My tears are falling like rain from the sky
Is it for her or myself that I cry

I'm a loser
And I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be

What have I done to deserve such a fate
I realize I have left it too late
And so it's true, pride comes before a fall
I'm telling you so that you won't lose all

I'm a loser
And I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be

hmm... no jeff online (my wonderful boyfriend)...tonight.. no one to share the (small sounding) victory with... I will tell his messenger then, and my blog... I threaded my first two bobbins on my brand new sewing machine, AND figured out how to thread the needle! WooHoo!!! I know, I know... but it's a girl thing.. and I figured it out :) I am not very good with stuff like that, and it makes me very happy and satisfied to know that I did it :)

And now it is time to lay down and sleep...

I miss Jeff. He wasn't sounding like his regular self today, and no sight of him on messenger or calls tonight.......... I do hope everything is alright....

Good night all...

Seana

November 29th, 2007, 10:20 p.m.

I should be getting in the shower~Say an hour ago~but not tonight I guess. A few more minutes won't hurt, I need to write. It was payday and errands today, fun fun. I got some boxes of chocolate for my fellow shoe ladies for Christmas.So they are taken care of for the holidays I really had to talk myself into getting one for Pat though. We civilly hate each other's guts to the nth degree. I got Jeff a gift, I hope he likes it or at least pretends to like it in front of me. I'll include the gift receipt just in case.

I better hop in the shower before I run out of hot water. I started it and then HAD to grab my journal and reclaim a percent of my questionable sanity> I will write more before I fall asleep tonight, hopefully. If not, definitely on my first 15 tomorrow.

November 27, 2007, 11:06p.m.

showered, sleepy and ready for bed once more. I've got a headache behind and above my eyes-ouch!

Jeff is reading the rest of my blog as I write this entry. He asked for the link again when i mention that I've go over eighty posts in it now and that I've been writing almost everyday.

My tail bone hurts from sitting in the folding chair that serves as my desk chair currently. :(

Im just full of complaints tonight I see. Oh well. get them out of my system and forget about them before I fall asleep.

I was surfing my regular sites and I checked to see if Josh had managed to upload any new pictures of himself in the middle of serving for out country. What a pleasant surprise when I saw he did!

I love Jeff. I didn't get to talk to him much tonight, but that's okay. I'll catch up tomorrow. I did get to message with him for a bit and have a good night call, so I will be able to sleep better.


My eyes are drooping, so sleep is coming to steal me away very soon.

Good night.

November 27, 2007, 9:47 a.m.

How freakin' creepy!

I was half asleep last night, well on my way to la-la land when I heard an extra voice upstairs. It was our next door neighbor (at 11:30 p.m.). Apparently his house was broken into around ten.

He siad he woke up to a light shining on his bed and the silioutte of a figure in his doorway. He leaped out of bed and chased them out of the house. The weird thing-he was supposed to work last night (like most nights). His work shift had just happened to be switched on him at the last minute. If he hadn't have been there, it wouldve been just his pretty young wife and their two small children home alone. Who knows what woul've happened!
The burgurlar apparently jjimmied open the back door on the lowest level and went straight up to their bedroom. One fingerprint was found by the police, but they don't know if anything will come of it.

Needless to say, it was a little while before I fell asleep.

A few more minutes and I have to go back to work. JoAnn has a couple of doctors appointments to day so she isn't here. Just Karen and myself to do all the freight, which shall be interesting, since I am front checking much of the time anymore. Karen works 10-7 and Becky comes in at 4:30-10.

Time to go back, joy, joy!!

NOT!!

November 26th, 2007, 11:25 p.m.

I am back for only a few words and then sleep beckons.

I sold ten more CMN balloons today, bring my total to 41.

I love Jeff SO much! His love sustains me and he completes me. We fit together so wonderfully in every way. My fear is that he will find another girl or decide that I do not satisfy him any number of ways. i want to be everything for him and make so very happy. I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Sleep tight, good night.

November 26th, 2007, 9:43 p.m.

I didn't realize how behind i was in keeping my blog up to date with my journal! It took me roughly two hours to transfer my blog entries from the past couple of weeks to my mail nlog and from there to my other blogs (myspace, spicepad, and fubar)

Now is shower time. Jeff should be back home by the time I emerge; clean, wet and sleepy. I wonder how many people actually love showers as I do? Maybe I am just really odd, but I love really hot water, lots of steam and getting sleepy and clean... hmmmm....

Write more in a bit... maybe...

November 26, 2007, 8:46 a.m.

On my first fifteen for the day. Already covered a 15 break for a cashier this morning. (and sold two more CMN balloons, bringing my total to 33.)

I only started to sell those balloons yesterday on a whim. I worked 11-8 yesterday, only the first 20 minutes spent in my department. Then I was door greeter for an hour, an hour which held a reminder of how asinine a particular member of management can be-there was a chair at the door, so I sat. Apparently that chair is just there for looks, because when he went by, he got on the walkie (every door greeter has one as well as management) and told Assistant Josh that he needs to tell his door greeting people they cant be sitting down at the door, "hanging out". He could've just came over to me and told me to get up, but he broadcasted it to everyone in earshot of the walkies, and said my name as an example of who dared to sit while on door greeting duties. Argh!!!

But, after my door greeting stint, I took my first fifteen minute break, and then got on the register/ Around 1:30-2, I hear the cashier next to me show off to each CSM that went by how many she had already sold that day (which didn't really look like that much). So I decided to try it, and managed to sell 31 of them between then and when I got off at 8:00 (with an hour lunch in the middle). I think I averaged about five an hour. Theres a contest going in, but I don't think I will sell enough, because I am not an actual cashier.

That wraps up my day yesterday, at least the part worth telling

I didn't sleep well last night at all, I was missing Jeff;s warmth, his loving arms arms holding me close. I got a good morning call from him soon after I woke up this morning! He didn't sleep much last night either. If i could talk him into it, I would pay the $100.00 fee to bring him back here once more. His mom already said (and is) paying for his books and he is getting financial aide that he could get anywhere he went. A dream is a dream I guess.

I must go back to work now, a few minutes late but oh well.

November 25th, 2007, 10:35 p.m.

Jeff left today :( We had such a wonderful time together.

He arrived in town on Wednesday, while I was at work. He came over shortly after I got off. It was sooooo wonderful to kiss him again and be in his arms once more.

We went over to Kirk and Marsha's that evening, and did the usual dinner and game routing, thought I didn't participate in the game (Last Word). I was tired and just wanted to sit back and relax and watch.

Thanksgiving day was wonderful as well. We ate around two o'clock in the afternoon and then played two games of scrabble with mom and Leon. I almost own the first game, but lost both in the end. Leon, Jeff and I played monopoly after that, Jeff TOTALLY owned us on that one! I didn't realize he was a Monopoly tycoon! I definitely want to challenge him to a rematch!

Then it was about 8:30-9:00 p.m., so we came downstairs and called it an early night because I had to go to work from 6 a.m.-3 p.m. on Friday for Blitz (Black Friday).

After I got off of work, we went over to K & M's again and had dinner and watched a movie called "The Holiday". I absolutely LOVED it!! The guys kept making commentary comments throughout it. It was a definite "chick flick".

Saturday was a wonderful leisure day. We slept in and went to the mall and went disc golfing with K&M. Afterwards, Jeff helped Kirk hang lights outside and I watched Marsha finish sewing the tree skirt. Then we came home and he was such a wonderful boyfriend helping me hand the mirrors in the living room. (he helped me with the hanging the mirrors in my bedroom on Wednesday).

Then, we watched the movie "Accepted". Afterwards I took a shower while he played his new Zelda DS game.

I love that man with all of my heart. I loved falling asleep in his arms, being held there all night long, and waking up there each morning.

He went back to his mom's today after I went to work and Kirk and him played another game of disc golf. There he will reside at night once more. I am back here all alone, but loving him, missing him, always thinking of him and counting down the days until I can see him again.

Now I must say goodnight. Tomorrow I shall recap todays highlights.

Seana

November 20, 2007, 10:25 p.m.

In one hour and thirty five minutes I'll be able to say "Jeff arrives today!". How exciting!!!!

(and then I sat down my journal and write in my mind because I was tired to write but to excited to sleep! I wish I had a computer that could read my thoughts!)

November 18th, 2007, 12:13 p.m.

Just got two (very short) messages from Josh. At least I know he has made it longer being safe wherever he is overseas.

later
10:35 p.m.

Here is is again. Another bedtime, another entry. I just spent another day off cleaning my level. It looks pretty darn good if I should say so myself. I took down the folding table from my room and moved my massage chair in from the living room, did bunches of laundry and hung the shelf/sconces up in the bathroom-just to name a few things.

Less then three days and Jeff will be here! YEAH!!! I am almost counting down the hours now, I am so excited!

Ugg. I just noticed the interstate is having work done on it, apparently. It seems like it will be a night thing. Flashy flashy in my bedroom window~~ good thing I cant hear their work in here, what I can hears seems to blend in with the regular traffic noise.

I hope Jeff makes it here safe and sound. I always worry about things like that.

Okay it is louder outside now and very annoying. I think Nyquil is in order if if I hope to sleep at all in the next hour. I cant take very much or I will oversleep in the morning, but I'll take just enough to get me to sleep quickly. It is bedtime in any case, I think I might be able to fall asleep on my own after all.

Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite!
Seana

November 18, 2007 9:17 a.m.

I had a very restful sleep. That's usually what happens when I take Nyquil. I only do that when I am getting exhausted from the number of dreams I have/remember each night and the pets (mostly kitties) waking me up every hour to go in and out of the room or getting sick. At any rate, I don't see the harm in taking it when I need sleep, especially in the wintertime when I am sick all the time anyway, so it may even be considered preventative.

Anyway, time to eat a hostess snowball, drinks some Pepsi and get something done.

November 17th, 2007, 10:27 p.m.

Now typically my lights out time, it is now time to write a bit more. Between ten and ten thirty seems to be the common area of time that finds me getting snuggled into my bed with my kitties and puppy.

(Just had my good night call with Jeff :) )

I've had an unsettling feeling over me for the last one/one and a half hours. I cant explain it and I don't know why, but its there, I tried calling mom at work to warn her, but the phone wont let me call Wal-mart and she couldn't answer her cell because she was on the floor.

Batter in light about dead, time for Nyquil sleep.

I'm out
Seana

November 13th, 2007, 10:54 p.m.

One more morning I have to get up at the butt crack of dawn and then I will have a day off. And the day off is payday, yeah!

Almost one week and Jeff will be here and we shall kiss and cuddle and not be out of each other's reach, unless I have to work.

It's a good thing I don't drink Wal-mart's water, because two people I know are both three-four months along! Angie from infants and Stephanie from fabrics/crafts. Yikes, more children. I don't think I would be able to handle a child and be a good mother honestly.

Not much writing for me tonight but I am very tired and have a warm puppy laying across me me as I am writing this and a gray warm kitty on my feet. Midnight is in the other room.

Good night

November 11, 2007-10:28 pm

I seem to have began to create my own bedtime ritual without even trying.

Somewhere around nine o'clock at night I hop into the shower. Then come back out and finish my surfing, talk with Jeff. Then we typically have a good night call. I come to bed with my journal and flashlight to record any final thoughts before becoming to sleepy to write any more. The sleepy process is aided by the darkened room and comfy bedding, don't forget also the puppy curled up tight.

Today was pretty relaxing. I took my sweet ass time cleaning various areas of the basement and making my room livable again. I hung the pictures Marsha gave me up on the wall above the ledge. They look pretty awesome up there if I do say so myself!

I heard a rumor that hit me pretty satisfactorily today.
It seems, according to the rumor mill that the Nazi in a pant suit (Assistant Miranda) was called into the back management office on Friday and told that she needed to lay off on people or else. Apparently she, according to rumor, is on very thin ice and on her way out the door if she doesn't change her leadership ways.

Rock on. If thats true, then someone finally realized that she was treating all of the associates like crap. Now only if they would bring ex-assistant Jeff back... grrrrr....

I miss Jeff. Ten days and I shall be in his arms once more. i need to check my schedule of Thanksgiving week and my requested days off when I work tomorrow.

Okay, sleep time. Time to disappear into dreams and oblivion.

Good night all

Something Quirky..

One of those 'what does your birth month say about you' things..

August

Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless.Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends .

November 11, 2007- 12:56 p.m.

I managed to sleep for twelve hours, roughly. Nyquil is lovely that way. I did still dream, but I couldn't tell you about what. That in itself is very helpful because I feel much more restful when I am not running around in my dreams.

I feel okay about writing whatever I want to in here, and transferring it to my blogs because no one but me reads either of them.

Well, its my day off and its already one o'clock in the afternoon. I want to accomplish something, so I think i am going to blog last night's entry and this one, and then go clean something.

Seana

November 10th, 2007 10:20pm

I guess Lydia was dead on with what she said in class last Thursday. Much to people's inability or unwillingness to accept it.

She asked the class "At the end of the day who can you really count on? Who is always going to be there for you?"
The class had the typical answers, "My mom", "My family," and "My boyfriend/girlfriend".
She then asked, "Who knows whats really going on with you and what you are truly feeling deep down at any given moment?".

Same answers, only a bit more reluctantly.

Then the profound, honest truth came forth from her lips. "the only person you can count on in this world is you. You may say you can count on someone when you need them, but sometimes you will call them because you feel you need to talk and they are busy. You hopefully find people in your life that are there for you 99 percent of the time, but they are rare. Capture them if you find them, because they are a rare breed. The only person who can make sure you are happy and taken care of yourself."

Just thought that was worth jotting down, worthing thinking about for a minute.

Nyquil is making me sleepy.

2nd night without a good night call. I wonder why.

I was in a pretty good mood today at work. I don't know why, I surprised myself with my happy mood.

Well, I got my good night call just now. Thought he didnt realize it was that late (10:40) already. But at least I got one :) He's been pretty distant the last few days... I hope everything is okay......

(Twenty or so minutes later)
I almost drifted off to Nyquil induced sleep, almost being the keyword that , as the saying goes, only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. Mom came home and flipped my laundry after taking hers out. All fine and dandy, except my carmex had been left in a pocket and was clanging around in the dryer. An awful it makes when that happens! She was just going to let it keep banging around without checking to see what was in there, which meant if i didn't get up to check it, all of it would've evaporated in the heat of the dryer!

Common sense, people, common sense!

Okay maybe I can recapture my sleep once more. I can feel myself getting sleepier with every word that I write. I need to once more hide being my dreams from my reality.

This is Seana signging off for the night, back ot your regularly scheduled programming.

Peace

November 9th, 2007-10:20 pm

This wont be very long for I want to escape into oblivion say five minutes ago.

I choose my topic for Culture and Technology's seven page paper. What else for me to do then the radio? I started the preliminary research earlier this evening. I haven't yet chosen the topic for my encounters in Humanities seven page paper yet. I was hoping that Jeff could help me narrow it down this evening as well, but to no avail. He had made a large time consuming meal at his moms.(but it sounded yummy!). It is also happy screaming fun time again. meaning his nieces and nephew were visiting again. They are adorable, but can be very loud.

His mom rented him "The Hills Have Eyes II" as well. So no messenger tonight and as of yet, no goodnight call.

Speaking of goodnights, I have the puppy curled up tight next to me and the the kitties close together at the foot of the bed. The light is off (I am writing by flashlight!) and sleep is beckoning me. I need to escape and for as many hours as possible.

Good night.

Seana

November 8th, 2007-11:16pm

Jeff got the okay to come for Thanksgiving! Yeah! He is planning on leaving there the day before Thanksgiving (a week from next Tuesday) and staying here until Sunday. Rock ON! Speak of things rockin', I also found out from JoAnn that she gave me that Saturday off!

Midnight's meowing to come back in, have to pause writing for just a minute...

Earlier I weighted her and somehow she has gone from weighing sixteen and a half pounds to only ten pounds. I hope all is well with her health . She's seemed more alert and happy since we've moved into the house though and no sickly heat is coming from her. I'll just have to keep an eye on her.

Okay now I am really tired and ready to escape into sleep and out of reality for a few hours. I might have to get baby and bring her back into bed if she started up the howling again. Done want her scared and the people in the hours.................
((uuuummmm... I believe I fell asleep in the mid writings above. I believe the end of the thought was "I don't want her scared and the other people in the house awakened by her meowing."))

Papa Roach-Last Resort

The song that Liz, a friend in high school, dubbed as 'My song'

Meet Virginia Lyrics
Artist(Band):Train

Review The Song (2)

Print the Lyrics

Send polyphonic ringtone to your cell phone


She doesn't own a dress
Her hair is always a mess,
You catch her stealin' she won't confess
She's Beautiful.

Smokes a pack a day, oh wait,
That's me, but anyway
She doesn't care a thing
About that, hey,
She thinks I'm beautiful
Meet Virginia

She never compromises,
Loves babies and surprises,
wears high heels when
she exercises
Ain't it beautiful
Meet Virginia

Well she wants to be the Queen
Then she thinks about her scene
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the Queen"

Daddy wrestles alligators
Mama works on carborators
Her brother is a fine mediator
For the president
And here she is again on the phone
just like me hates to be alone
we just like to sit home
and rip on the President
Meet Virginia, alright

Well she wants to live her life
Then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back, as she screams
"I don't really wanna live this life"

She only drinks coffee at midnight
When the moment is not right
Her timing is quite, unusual
You see her confidence is tragic, but her intuitions magic,
and the shape of her body Unusual

Meet Virgina I can't wait to
Meet Virginia, yeah e yeah hey hey hey

Well she wants to be the queen and
then she thinks about her scene
Well she wants to live her life
then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna live this"

Bedtime Once More..

I have started a new process of writing in my journal every thought that I want to record. From that I can choose what I want the rest of the world to see and post it into my full blog (here) and my Fubar and myspace blogs.

Now it is bedtime once more, and I can journal a bit more before I fall asleep. Good night all.

~Seana~

Morning Thoughts

Later
9:05 A.M.

Can't sleep any longer. I have to take a shower. I've been too exhausted to take one for the last couple of days. Mom wants to leave earlier to stop at a place or two before we go to Cedar Rapids. She's driving. Thank God. I swear its only a matter of time before the idiots on the road involve me in an accident. I haven't felt like driving any faster then 65 lately.

I managed to escape into a peaceful, quiet, no dreaming remembered sleep. At least until he alarm started going off at various intervals. With every 'BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH", the dreams started piling on. In my dream, Jeff and I were in a mall, that was completely decked out for Halloween, although it felt like it was always that way. All the stores were closed, so I don't know what we were doing there. in the dream we kissed and walked side by side cuddling. I remember thinking that I had to get up soon, I didn't want to oversleep because i was going to see him and we were gong to go on a trip. Then I started to wake up and realized that wasn't the case and was depressed. So I threw myself back into the dream before it was completely gone because I needed his touch, his presence, even if it was only the mental version of him. That version if the only one I have of him at the moment that I can be physically near. I've go to hop in the shower now so I am not running late.

~Seana~

Sleep, Here I Return!

7:45 A.m.

Alarm went off. I'm not ready to get up yet. Back to sleep I go.

Bedtime..

I can't take any more awake, alert time... I need to escape into blissful, quiet unconsciousness. Now, like five minutes ago.... perhaps hours ago.. Enough of everything. Stop the world and let me off for at least eight hours.

Thank you. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Seana

What I wouldn't give..

to be able to afford a day of pampering... A day to get a new haircut, new coloring, manicure, eyebrow shaping, shopping... the whole works. I want a new look (but still be me)! I want to be able to look my age, to look more like a woman and less like a girl. Just a couple hundred dollars. That's all. just pennies in the bucket compared to what celebrities drop on a single item.

Thats all..

Song that reflects my mood...

Artist: Hanson Album: Middle Of Nowhere Title: Weird

Isn't it weird. Isn't it strange.
Even though we're just two strangers on this runaway train
We're both trying to find a place in the sun
We've lived in the shadows, but doesn't everyone
Isn't it strange how we all feel a little bit weird sometimes
Isn't it hard. Standing in the rain.
You're on the verge of going crazy and your heart's in pain
No one can hear though you're screaming so loud
You feel all alone in a faceless crowd
Isn't it strange how we all get a little bit weird sometimes.
Sitting on the side. Waiting for a sign. Hoping that my luck will
change.
Reaching for a hand that can understand, someone who feels the same.
When you live in a cookie cutter world being different is a sin.
So you don't stand out. And you don't fit in. Weird.
Sitting on the side. Waiting for a sign. Hoping that my luck will
change.
Reaching for a hand that can understand, someone who feels the same.
When you live in a cookie cutter world if you're different you can't
win.
So you don't stand out and you don't fit in. Weird.
Isn't it strange how we all feel a little bit weird
Strange, how we all get a little bit.
Strange, 'cause we're all just a little bit weird sometime

Drinking Housemates....

I've been thinking for about the last week or so about a promise I made to myself on my sixteenth(?)birthday sitting in my father's basement on my first visit ever to go see him. He had invited me to his house via the letters that we were writing back and forth at the time for my birthday, so we could begin bonding as father and daughter. Instead, he sat upstairs drinking all day after promising me in the last letter he wrote prior to the visit and the phone call from the day before that he wouldn't drink that day just for me. I ended up staying in the basement from the point that the second bottle hit his lips on. As I was sitting there, watching TV by myself, with the occasional visit from my younger brother, I told myself that I was never going to live with someone who drank whether or not they were my significant other or just a house mate. It just doesn't appeal to me probably largely due to this experience. It, in fact, is so unappealing that I don't want to think about it. I know, it sounds horribly unforgiving and selfish, but I have my reasons. These reasons run very very deep.

Thank God Jeff stopped drinking. I love that man with all of my heart and soul. He seems much happier and acting progressively to ready a good future for us and himself. I wish I could say the same about myself. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and I have been feeling rather down much of the time lately.

"Laugh, even when the tears threaten"

Has been my status message message off and on for a few weeks now on messenger. Only one person has asked about it, which was Marsha. I distracted her off onto another topic easily enough. I dont want people asking about it..it's just a personal reminder. It's what I keep telling myself I need to do. The rare occasion that it doesn't work, only a few slip through before I dam it up again. I'm getting better at it again, like when I was in middle school and high school.

That's all. No one is going to read this. I am safe from questioning and wondering about my sanity.

Off I go to bed, to escape into sleep for awhile... i am feeling melancholy tonight.

I love Jeff, With all my heart, soul, body and mind. Forever and Ever.

Seana

Every time I hear this song I am reminded of Jeff, Kirk and Marsha...

Tracy Lawrence
Find Out Who Your Friends Are

Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare

This is where the rubber meets the road
This is where the cream is gonna rise
This is what you really didn't know
This is where the truth don't lie

{Chorus}
You find out who your friends are
Somebody's gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think 'what's in it for me?' or 'it's way too far'
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who your friends are

Everybody wants to slap your back
wants to shake your hand
when you're up on top of that mountain
But let one of those rocks give way then you slide back down look up
and see who's around then

This ain't where the road comes to an end
This ain't where the bandwagon stops
This is just one of those times when
A lot of folks jump off

{Chorus}

When the water's high
When the weather's not so fair
When the well runs dry
Who's gonna be there?

{Chorus}

You find out who your friends are
(yeah, yeah)
You find out who your friends are

Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
(Well man, I've been there)
Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare
(Man, I've been there)

Man, I've been there
Oooh yeah.

Assumptions...

Why is it everyone seems to want me to make big changes in my life to accommodate events and results, but they wouldn't dream of making the big changes themselves?

I didn't realize that life for me is always a one way street, me always going the extra distance. I wish that people for once would consider doing themselves what they want me to do.. and perhaps bending for me instead. Or at least allowing me to bring it up and have an open mind when I do so...is that so hard?