Okay, so i didn't' specify after what day after work I would write about my good Thursday night. Technically, i am still keeping my promise to you, dear reader!
And since it is still the last time I've seen Adam, its still as recent and fresh as it could be!
Anywho.
I was sitting in the den watching the Michael Jackson marathon that B.E.T. was playing in remembrance. I happened to look out at the right moment, and even though it was dark, I instantly recognized the Del Sol. He had come to surprise me! It was a wonderful, unexpected high in my day, that;s for sure. My favorite part of that time together was when we were just talking, and I was resting my head on his stomach as he was reclining. he played with my hair,(an action that is enough to always make me melt and feel instantly at peace. I was very content in that way!
I am very glad today was my Friday. People tend to get on my nerves more and more often, as I near my weekend. But I had a rather nice evening by myself!
I came home from work and played with the puppy for a bit and then took a shower. Since Adam had to cancel our plans earlier today, I got to get a few things done, went shopping, and did my first Yoga session. You wouldn't think that it works, but I could feel it, that's for sure! I like it!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Taylor Swift - Teardrops On My Guitar Lyrics
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without
Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night
[Chorus:]
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
[ Taylor Swift Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause
[Repeat Chorus]
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
Another day I wouldn't care to repeat..
My day wasn't all that great yesterday, but my mood ended on a much higher note than I anticipated when I finally fell asleep.
As soon as I got to work, I immediately wanted to come back home or disappear into nature for the entire day. My people skills went on hiatus, I was irritable, and it just kept getting worse not matter how hard I tried. Usually I sneak in a minute here and there of deep breathing and mediation on hard days, but yesterday it didn't even cross my mind to do so.
And then, the totally unexpected news- Michael Jackson died yesterday at the age of 50 due to heart problems. The media, for once isn't getting many details but they said he had cardiac arrest at his home and by the time he was at the hospital he was unresponsive.
To me, this is the equivalent to when Elvis died to the previous generation. Some of my first musical memories include M.J. I didn't believe Adam when he texted me the news`I thought he was screwing with me!
That brings me back to yesterday. Jane had gone home before I even got there, due to childcare issues. Then Samantha went home sick. (No comment on that, besides she only had to work a four and a half hour shift, she could've made it if she really wanted to.)
It was 6:40, twenty minutes left of my shift when CSM Britney cam over and told me they wanted me up front. I was trying to do all the closing things, since there would be no one int eh department for the rest of the day, so I told her I couldn't.
A few minutes later, Assistant Angie calls up tot he counter and lays in on me that I need to go up there and I need to make sure that I am helping take care of our customer over and over, I held the phone away from my ear and could still hear here! She wouldn't let me get in a word after I answered the phone, so ashamedly, (or not so much,) I hung up on her. I did go up front, but didn't' finish cleaning up the department besides taking the trash back.
I HAVE to hop in the shower, but I'll write about my wonderful night next time!
As soon as I got to work, I immediately wanted to come back home or disappear into nature for the entire day. My people skills went on hiatus, I was irritable, and it just kept getting worse not matter how hard I tried. Usually I sneak in a minute here and there of deep breathing and mediation on hard days, but yesterday it didn't even cross my mind to do so.
And then, the totally unexpected news- Michael Jackson died yesterday at the age of 50 due to heart problems. The media, for once isn't getting many details but they said he had cardiac arrest at his home and by the time he was at the hospital he was unresponsive.
To me, this is the equivalent to when Elvis died to the previous generation. Some of my first musical memories include M.J. I didn't believe Adam when he texted me the news`I thought he was screwing with me!
That brings me back to yesterday. Jane had gone home before I even got there, due to childcare issues. Then Samantha went home sick. (No comment on that, besides she only had to work a four and a half hour shift, she could've made it if she really wanted to.)
It was 6:40, twenty minutes left of my shift when CSM Britney cam over and told me they wanted me up front. I was trying to do all the closing things, since there would be no one int eh department for the rest of the day, so I told her I couldn't.
A few minutes later, Assistant Angie calls up tot he counter and lays in on me that I need to go up there and I need to make sure that I am helping take care of our customer over and over, I held the phone away from my ear and could still hear here! She wouldn't let me get in a word after I answered the phone, so ashamedly, (or not so much,) I hung up on her. I did go up front, but didn't' finish cleaning up the department besides taking the trash back.
I HAVE to hop in the shower, but I'll write about my wonderful night next time!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Another day done..
The end of another day in the life. Not too shabby of a day overall. Some decent parts, and some not so good parts, like any other day.
I didn't really feel like being around many people today, but half of the customers were all right. Kathy irked me like usual-but what else is new? She ignored a few customers and I had to take care of them even thought I was deep cleaning a case. (I wouldn't have minded, except I was in the middle of my project and she hadn't made it past the counter with the bit of freight she was going to put away. But enough ink and paper waster on her for this entry!)
I did have a highlight when Jen and her mom came in with Austin! Seven weeks old, and already I can see his beginning developments. Such a little angel! Of course, I had to hold him and so I held him for about five minutes while i was still in the department, and went and clocked out for lunch. Then I kidnapped him from Jen's mom, and Jen and I walked around with him for about a half hour. His favorite way for me to held him so his tiny head nestled against my right sho9uld and his hand holding as tight as he can onto it. Poor little thing had the hiccups, abut it was adorable! I';m hoping they maybe they can come down this weekend or next with him to my house again.
A rather disappointing thing though is that Adam and I had made plans for a romantic candlelit dinner tonight here. Unfortunately he couldn't make it. So, I settled myself with my usual mac and cheese with hot dogs and a strawberry ice cream cone for desert. Oh well, its' okay I understand why he had to cancel. He doesn't really have any choice.
I saw one of my old sociology classmates today as well. Shes looking great! and definitely has that distinct glow. Shes going to have a baby girl in a few months, I guess.
I spent about an hour tonight getting I-CAPS affairs under control, setting up a meeting with SMPS (Shoki Midwestern Paranormal Society) and running over the most major details with Tymon on the phone. I needed to type up the member applications and mail to Dak at SMPS,, but unfortunately my Microsoft Word program is a long past expired trial version> Tymon's going to pick the applications up tomorrow and get them typed and emailed.
Last Sunday, (that I spent with Adam,) was the greatest time I've had in a long while! I am STILL thinking about how I like it so! Went to the Coralville Dam, (where I finally got fully submerged in the water for the first time this year!) And then we went to say hi to Snow Demon, but wasn't at all like he thought it would be, I think. We made a Tombstone pizza and watched, 'Wedding Crashers'. Lots of close contact, talking and cuddling as well...
(There's a brief recap since I fell asleep during the time i tried writing that entry!)
Speaking of sleep~ I can feel it trying to steal over me and steal away my consciousness, so I better turn off the light, snuggle with my puppy and let it!
Good night (or day, whichever applies when you read this!)
I didn't really feel like being around many people today, but half of the customers were all right. Kathy irked me like usual-but what else is new? She ignored a few customers and I had to take care of them even thought I was deep cleaning a case. (I wouldn't have minded, except I was in the middle of my project and she hadn't made it past the counter with the bit of freight she was going to put away. But enough ink and paper waster on her for this entry!)
I did have a highlight when Jen and her mom came in with Austin! Seven weeks old, and already I can see his beginning developments. Such a little angel! Of course, I had to hold him and so I held him for about five minutes while i was still in the department, and went and clocked out for lunch. Then I kidnapped him from Jen's mom, and Jen and I walked around with him for about a half hour. His favorite way for me to held him so his tiny head nestled against my right sho9uld and his hand holding as tight as he can onto it. Poor little thing had the hiccups, abut it was adorable! I';m hoping they maybe they can come down this weekend or next with him to my house again.
A rather disappointing thing though is that Adam and I had made plans for a romantic candlelit dinner tonight here. Unfortunately he couldn't make it. So, I settled myself with my usual mac and cheese with hot dogs and a strawberry ice cream cone for desert. Oh well, its' okay I understand why he had to cancel. He doesn't really have any choice.
I saw one of my old sociology classmates today as well. Shes looking great! and definitely has that distinct glow. Shes going to have a baby girl in a few months, I guess.
I spent about an hour tonight getting I-CAPS affairs under control, setting up a meeting with SMPS (Shoki Midwestern Paranormal Society) and running over the most major details with Tymon on the phone. I needed to type up the member applications and mail to Dak at SMPS,, but unfortunately my Microsoft Word program is a long past expired trial version> Tymon's going to pick the applications up tomorrow and get them typed and emailed.
Last Sunday, (that I spent with Adam,) was the greatest time I've had in a long while! I am STILL thinking about how I like it so! Went to the Coralville Dam, (where I finally got fully submerged in the water for the first time this year!) And then we went to say hi to Snow Demon, but wasn't at all like he thought it would be, I think. We made a Tombstone pizza and watched, 'Wedding Crashers'. Lots of close contact, talking and cuddling as well...
(There's a brief recap since I fell asleep during the time i tried writing that entry!)
Speaking of sleep~ I can feel it trying to steal over me and steal away my consciousness, so I better turn off the light, snuggle with my puppy and let it!
Good night (or day, whichever applies when you read this!)
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Madly, crazy in love!!
I wonder why the terms crazy and mad are used in conjunction to being in love with someone? (Oh wait... I have this magical, endless box of knowledge and key of google to open it...)
Well, that was disappointing.. all I got were song lyrics and articles about why women fall for crazy guys...
Anyway, I am madly in love with a great guy! Head over heels, crazy for him.. pick any description like that!
That's all. I just had to say it out load. And since I don't have the guts to climb onto my roof and shout it (fear of heights and all!), this is the next best thing!
Well, that was disappointing.. all I got were song lyrics and articles about why women fall for crazy guys...
Anyway, I am madly in love with a great guy! Head over heels, crazy for him.. pick any description like that!
That's all. I just had to say it out load. And since I don't have the guts to climb onto my roof and shout it (fear of heights and all!), this is the next best thing!
A retraction, and apology if you will...
The more I learn about my father, the more I DON'T want him to be a part of my life, and am happy I don't have to claim him by last name. (Or in any other way.)
My blogging about him has stirred up quite the response from people that I have mentioned. And apparently, I can add 'compulsive liar' to the traits that he has, that I do not want my future significant other to have. This is where the apology comes in. I stated in my entry, 'It's all relative', that I was used to mood swings due to a former step-sister having bi-polar. I was told this by my father shortly after I met my former step-family, and had no reason not to accept it as being fact, seeming that it was my father who told me and I didn't realize that he would tell un-truths about his family.The truth is, that neither the one that messaged me or her sister have been ever been diagnosed with bi-polar. Seems that from day one he was lying to me, and why I couldn't begin to guess. I'm sorry to you all. And I wonder if anything he ever told me was true or not.
In response to only meeting the handful of times, I also wanted to let you guys know that I did try to get in further contact with you, by asking him for your email address or phone numbers for many years, before your mother and him divorced. He kept saying he'd get them to me, but never happened. This was in addition of wanting to come up for the weekend, and he would brush those off as well..
Strange.. with the writing lately, I feel lighter, like a weight I didn't realize was so heavy has been lifted.. I think I've totally accepted what I can't change from my past, and can only use that information to make sure my future doesn't repeat itself...
My blogging about him has stirred up quite the response from people that I have mentioned. And apparently, I can add 'compulsive liar' to the traits that he has, that I do not want my future significant other to have. This is where the apology comes in. I stated in my entry, 'It's all relative', that I was used to mood swings due to a former step-sister having bi-polar. I was told this by my father shortly after I met my former step-family, and had no reason not to accept it as being fact, seeming that it was my father who told me and I didn't realize that he would tell un-truths about his family.The truth is, that neither the one that messaged me or her sister have been ever been diagnosed with bi-polar. Seems that from day one he was lying to me, and why I couldn't begin to guess. I'm sorry to you all. And I wonder if anything he ever told me was true or not.
In response to only meeting the handful of times, I also wanted to let you guys know that I did try to get in further contact with you, by asking him for your email address or phone numbers for many years, before your mother and him divorced. He kept saying he'd get them to me, but never happened. This was in addition of wanting to come up for the weekend, and he would brush those off as well..
Strange.. with the writing lately, I feel lighter, like a weight I didn't realize was so heavy has been lifted.. I think I've totally accepted what I can't change from my past, and can only use that information to make sure my future doesn't repeat itself...
Monday, June 22, 2009
TV time!
Off to watch last week's GhostHunters episodes! Woot! I didn't even get to catch the commercials for these, so I don't know what played!!
Such a good day, I fell asleep writing about it!
What a very, very good day? What made it so good? I spent the great majority of it with Adam. It's become our routine to set aside Sundays to spend the whole day with one another. (Typically mid-afternoon to late into the night.) We haven't sat down 'officially' and decided on anything like that-it just happens. And it is a very good plan!
Today I went over there somewhere between two and three, and came in to him vacuuming the basement with a little hose vacuum. Interesting! After he realized that I was on the stair watching, he stopped cleaning and we hung out for a little while. Then he fed me some good ravioli. (Well, not personally fed me, but you know what i mean!!)....
Today I went over there somewhere between two and three, and came in to him vacuuming the basement with a little hose vacuum. Interesting! After he realized that I was on the stair watching, he stopped cleaning and we hung out for a little while. Then he fed me some good ravioli. (Well, not personally fed me, but you know what i mean!!)....
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Watching Grease-and this song is one that I ALWAYS have to sing with!!
The One I Want Lyrics
I got chills, they're multiplyin', and I'm losin' control
Cause the power you're supplyin', it's electrifyin'
You better shape up, cause I need a man,
and my heart is set on you
You better shape up, you better understand,
to my heart I must be true
Nothing left, nothing left for me to do
Chorus:
You're the one that I want
(you are the one I want), ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one I need (the one I need),
oh yes indeed (yes indeed)
If you're filled with affection,
You're too shy to convey
Meditate my direction, feel your way
I better shape up,
cause you need a man
I need a man,
Who can keep me satisfied
I better shape up, if I'm gonna prove
You better prove, that my fate is justified
Are you sure?
Yes I'm sure down deep inside
I got chills, they're multiplyin', and I'm losin' control
Cause the power you're supplyin', it's electrifyin'
You better shape up, cause I need a man,
and my heart is set on you
You better shape up, you better understand,
to my heart I must be true
Nothing left, nothing left for me to do
Chorus:
You're the one that I want
(you are the one I want), ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one I need (the one I need),
oh yes indeed (yes indeed)
If you're filled with affection,
You're too shy to convey
Meditate my direction, feel your way
I better shape up,
cause you need a man
I need a man,
Who can keep me satisfied
I better shape up, if I'm gonna prove
You better prove, that my fate is justified
Are you sure?
Yes I'm sure down deep inside
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Rantings instead of musings tonight...
10:49 p.m.
What a day!! (And not in a good way for most of it, really.) It started out well enough, I blogged/journaled a page, took a shower, talked to Mike a bit via text, and got to work just about ten minutes past ten. That's when my day tried its hardest to shoot itself all to hell~but I managed not to let it get to m,e. It was close at the end, but I survived in one piece and in a pretty decent mood.
I swear, it felt as though the store was under an artificial full moon all day and that people were going to transform into werewolves and vampires, attack each other and be done with it!
I wasn't even in the department for five minutes before Kathy said something to the effect of "Where have you been? You're supposed to start at ten, not ten-fifteen! I've been waiting to go on break forever, I get here at 7 and haven't had a break yet... yadayadaya..."
Well, for some reason reason I'm likable at work, (I know, right?) and I'm constantly stopped by people saying Hi and wanting to chat. SO I told her this.
"It doesn't matter, tell them you are supposed to be working! You don't have time for chatting with them!!" Um... excuse me? This coming from the woman who takes 20-25 minute 15's, dawdles at the computer, stands around complaining theres nothing to do, and leaves early! (Just to name a FEW things that her hypocritical statements brought to mind!)
If it was just Kathy PMS'ing today, I could've handled it, no sweat. But I think 99% of those at work were ragging today. CSM's, Management, fellow associates all included. It felt like Samantha and I were fighting for our collective sanity, while being attakced form all sides by mean tempered, ragging zombies! (how about that for a pretty picture, dear reader? Imagine us armed with just our ear piercing guns and think you'd you'd be all set!)
I think the only people really decent today was my mom, Samantha, Dawn and Brian. Brian's pretty cool. he kept offering me shoulder massages today, but I couldn't accept since we were at work and all. Darn./
Haven't heard from Adam all day today. Might still be affected by the texts yesterday. I miss talking to him, but I've already sent him few messages last night. I didn't do anything to apologize for, so hopefully he comes around soon. But who knows? He's stubborn. One way or another I 'll be going to the beach this weekend-if it's at all nice!
Might write more later. I want to write (or start writing,) a list of things that I'll need form me camping trip to Lammasfest.
'Til next time
Seana
11:12 p.m.
What a day!! (And not in a good way for most of it, really.) It started out well enough, I blogged/journaled a page, took a shower, talked to Mike a bit via text, and got to work just about ten minutes past ten. That's when my day tried its hardest to shoot itself all to hell~but I managed not to let it get to m,e. It was close at the end, but I survived in one piece and in a pretty decent mood.
I swear, it felt as though the store was under an artificial full moon all day and that people were going to transform into werewolves and vampires, attack each other and be done with it!
I wasn't even in the department for five minutes before Kathy said something to the effect of "Where have you been? You're supposed to start at ten, not ten-fifteen! I've been waiting to go on break forever, I get here at 7 and haven't had a break yet... yadayadaya..."
Well, for some reason reason I'm likable at work, (I know, right?) and I'm constantly stopped by people saying Hi and wanting to chat. SO I told her this.
"It doesn't matter, tell them you are supposed to be working! You don't have time for chatting with them!!" Um... excuse me? This coming from the woman who takes 20-25 minute 15's, dawdles at the computer, stands around complaining theres nothing to do, and leaves early! (Just to name a FEW things that her hypocritical statements brought to mind!)
If it was just Kathy PMS'ing today, I could've handled it, no sweat. But I think 99% of those at work were ragging today. CSM's, Management, fellow associates all included. It felt like Samantha and I were fighting for our collective sanity, while being attakced form all sides by mean tempered, ragging zombies! (how about that for a pretty picture, dear reader? Imagine us armed with just our ear piercing guns and think you'd you'd be all set!)
I think the only people really decent today was my mom, Samantha, Dawn and Brian. Brian's pretty cool. he kept offering me shoulder massages today, but I couldn't accept since we were at work and all. Darn./
Haven't heard from Adam all day today. Might still be affected by the texts yesterday. I miss talking to him, but I've already sent him few messages last night. I didn't do anything to apologize for, so hopefully he comes around soon. But who knows? He's stubborn. One way or another I 'll be going to the beach this weekend-if it's at all nice!
Might write more later. I want to write (or start writing,) a list of things that I'll need form me camping trip to Lammasfest.
'Til next time
Seana
11:12 p.m.
It's all relative..
9:00n a.m.
I am running late. (What else is new? Time is relative to some people. I'll be sure to share the theories I've found at a later date!)
Even though I am running behind, I just had to exclaim- I LOVE the feeling of bare grass underfoot!! And we had a massive thunderstorm las night, so it was wet as well. Woot!
Haven't heard from Adam since yesterday afternoon, even though I've sent him a few texts. Last thing I got from him was to the effect that he, "wasn't goin' to say nothin'."Not the easiest thing not to reply that that sentence really says he'll say a lot! It was in response to the fact that I teased him for telling me to 'chill'. Oh well, I'm used to mood swings of people, god knows my family is plagued with them on my mom's side and my step sister on my father's side is bi-polar. It was really extreme when she was in her teens/early twenties.
I have to go take a quick shower now and be off to work.
Ciao!
Seana
9:08 a.m.
I am running late. (What else is new? Time is relative to some people. I'll be sure to share the theories I've found at a later date!)
Even though I am running behind, I just had to exclaim- I LOVE the feeling of bare grass underfoot!! And we had a massive thunderstorm las night, so it was wet as well. Woot!
Haven't heard from Adam since yesterday afternoon, even though I've sent him a few texts. Last thing I got from him was to the effect that he, "wasn't goin' to say nothin'."Not the easiest thing not to reply that that sentence really says he'll say a lot! It was in response to the fact that I teased him for telling me to 'chill'. Oh well, I'm used to mood swings of people, god knows my family is plagued with them on my mom's side and my step sister on my father's side is bi-polar. It was really extreme when she was in her teens/early twenties.
I have to go take a quick shower now and be off to work.
Ciao!
Seana
9:08 a.m.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Forever and a day...
11:11 p.m.
At least it feels like it's been that long since I've written any of actual thoughts and observations in any sort of detail. (And, I just notice something in my handwritten version of my journal- my handwriting is eerily like one of my closest friend's-Jennifer's!)
11:44 p.m.
Yes, a full half hour to accomplish just those few sentences. Interruptions are common in my house, at least interruptions from others to what I am doing. I also was watching "Office Space"; I picked up that classic at W-M for only about $3.75! (ten percent discount, and it was on special for the low, low princes of only $4! And if you call now...) Wait, sorry, I got caught up in the whole infomercial similarity of my writing!
Anywho.
I can go days or weeks, just going along with the flow-not thinking about anything in particular/ Just working, hanging out and sleeping. Then all of a sudden my brain won't stop. Surely, there's gotta be some happy medium. A mental version of working if you will- do a few days (reps) of internal hashing and then few day's resting break.
*happy dance* I remembered to register for Lammasfest 2009 this year! And I even made it in time for the early registration! It'll be so nice to get awawy for a weekend, away from work, people that I deal with on a regular basis and be able to concentrate on my life journey and my internal struggle with trying to find my way spiritually. I think the hardest thing will be to be without my puppy for a few days and nights! I worry that she wont' be taken care of as I do it. She's my princess, there's no doubt about that and I don't hide it. :)
But then, I got the thought that i don't even know how to build a campfire! hope Kirk and Marsha are camping so that I can set up my spot near them and share in their expertise!I don't know if I'll know anyone else there.
Marsha said that Jeff might be there, which I already thought of, but really that's just another stranger really. We haven't talked since we brike up_not from lack of a bit of trying on my part. I hope that he doesn't decide not to come purely because of finding out that I registered to go. I would feel bad, even though we don't talk. If that is the case, and I find otu, I would consider pulling my registration just because I wouldn't want to ruin the get together for him, Kirk and Marsha.
Onward. I can't control others, as I am constatnly, needlkessly being reminded of daily. I just keep repeating to myself...
ENOUGH WITH THE INTERRUPTIONS THAT I KEEP GETTING WHILE I AM TRYING TO WRITE! I'll try again tomorrow.. (I got interrupted in the last paragraph, and can't remember what I was about to say..)
Hope you all have/had a great night.
12:18a.m.
June 18th, 2009
At least it feels like it's been that long since I've written any of actual thoughts and observations in any sort of detail. (And, I just notice something in my handwritten version of my journal- my handwriting is eerily like one of my closest friend's-Jennifer's!)
11:44 p.m.
Yes, a full half hour to accomplish just those few sentences. Interruptions are common in my house, at least interruptions from others to what I am doing. I also was watching "Office Space"; I picked up that classic at W-M for only about $3.75! (ten percent discount, and it was on special for the low, low princes of only $4! And if you call now...) Wait, sorry, I got caught up in the whole infomercial similarity of my writing!
Anywho.
I can go days or weeks, just going along with the flow-not thinking about anything in particular/ Just working, hanging out and sleeping. Then all of a sudden my brain won't stop. Surely, there's gotta be some happy medium. A mental version of working if you will- do a few days (reps) of internal hashing and then few day's resting break.
*happy dance* I remembered to register for Lammasfest 2009 this year! And I even made it in time for the early registration! It'll be so nice to get awawy for a weekend, away from work, people that I deal with on a regular basis and be able to concentrate on my life journey and my internal struggle with trying to find my way spiritually. I think the hardest thing will be to be without my puppy for a few days and nights! I worry that she wont' be taken care of as I do it. She's my princess, there's no doubt about that and I don't hide it. :)
But then, I got the thought that i don't even know how to build a campfire! hope Kirk and Marsha are camping so that I can set up my spot near them and share in their expertise!I don't know if I'll know anyone else there.
Marsha said that Jeff might be there, which I already thought of, but really that's just another stranger really. We haven't talked since we brike up_not from lack of a bit of trying on my part. I hope that he doesn't decide not to come purely because of finding out that I registered to go. I would feel bad, even though we don't talk. If that is the case, and I find otu, I would consider pulling my registration just because I wouldn't want to ruin the get together for him, Kirk and Marsha.
Onward. I can't control others, as I am constatnly, needlkessly being reminded of daily. I just keep repeating to myself...
ENOUGH WITH THE INTERRUPTIONS THAT I KEEP GETTING WHILE I AM TRYING TO WRITE! I'll try again tomorrow.. (I got interrupted in the last paragraph, and can't remember what I was about to say..)
Hope you all have/had a great night.
12:18a.m.
June 18th, 2009
I apologize to everyone who reads (or did!) my blog..
Man, I have really been sucking on the blogging this year! Jeezus--ONLY sixteen posts in this whole year????
I do have plenty to say, that's for sure! So, I am making a mid-year resolution! I am going to try to blog a LOT more, but with limited, uninterrupted access to my computer.. I am going to try for 2-3 times a week. But, don't fret--I printed off a bunch of pretty paper to write in way more often than that. And I will try to spend the couple of times a week that I get uninterrupted transferring the entries from paper to blog...
I have a lot to do tonight, but hopefully you will have a lot more to read from me in the future dear readers!
'Til we meet again!
Seana
Your slacking blog host
I do have plenty to say, that's for sure! So, I am making a mid-year resolution! I am going to try to blog a LOT more, but with limited, uninterrupted access to my computer.. I am going to try for 2-3 times a week. But, don't fret--I printed off a bunch of pretty paper to write in way more often than that. And I will try to spend the couple of times a week that I get uninterrupted transferring the entries from paper to blog...
I have a lot to do tonight, but hopefully you will have a lot more to read from me in the future dear readers!
'Til we meet again!
Seana
Your slacking blog host
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Quick spontaneous research question..
Guys, what makes women sexy, attractive and attention grabbing to you?
Ladies, what is it about the male gender that you find irresistible?
Ladies, what is it about the male gender that you find irresistible?
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Pretty Happy, today... *knock on wood*
I have a movie date night with Adam on Thursday! *happy dance*
And, I'm going to have popcorn, and a few boxes of candy. It's going to be a cheesy, wonderful cuddle-filled evening! Woot!
I'm pretty happy today. I worked, and got a third set of piercings in my ears today. Samantha had to do some more training, so I thought I would go ahead and give it a shot. That's all the holes going into my head (or any other part of my body!) that I am doing!
I cleaned my house on Sunday and yesterday, and it looks so good! A clean house makes me very happy, although getting the motivation to actually get it that way escapes me often! I also rearranged my bathroom, bedroom and laundry room. Got rid of more stuff that I never need or even look at. The more junk that I clear out, the happier and more relaxed I am. It's a great feeling! I can actually see the progress I am making now.
Very exciting!
Now, I am very hungry, so I am going to go scrounge up some food and take a nice, relaxing shower and curl up in bed with my puppy and sleep. :)
Have a great night (or day, if that's when you are reading this), my dear readers!
And, I'm going to have popcorn, and a few boxes of candy. It's going to be a cheesy, wonderful cuddle-filled evening! Woot!
I'm pretty happy today. I worked, and got a third set of piercings in my ears today. Samantha had to do some more training, so I thought I would go ahead and give it a shot. That's all the holes going into my head (or any other part of my body!) that I am doing!
I cleaned my house on Sunday and yesterday, and it looks so good! A clean house makes me very happy, although getting the motivation to actually get it that way escapes me often! I also rearranged my bathroom, bedroom and laundry room. Got rid of more stuff that I never need or even look at. The more junk that I clear out, the happier and more relaxed I am. It's a great feeling! I can actually see the progress I am making now.
Very exciting!
Now, I am very hungry, so I am going to go scrounge up some food and take a nice, relaxing shower and curl up in bed with my puppy and sleep. :)
Have a great night (or day, if that's when you are reading this), my dear readers!
Monday, April 27, 2009
The tree project...
Up to over 300 ancestors now.. and that is just stemming back from my maternal grandmothers.. exciting!
It's become addicting to work on my family tree.. I didn't want to stop last night, but finally my headache overcame my ability to stare at the screen. I'm not used to staring at a computer monitor for 7-8 hours a day!
It's become addicting to work on my family tree.. I didn't want to stop last night, but finally my headache overcame my ability to stare at the screen. I'm not used to staring at a computer monitor for 7-8 hours a day!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Just a quick typing...
A quick note about a few things:
One, I finally decided to attack my family tree and find out more about my roots. I spent most of today just doing the maternal line of my family. Ancestry.com is AWESOME! I usually only can take a little bit of staring at a monitor at a time, but I think I spend at least six hours on the computer today, working on my lineage. I started with just a few papers that I received from my aunt, approximately 25-30 people.. and now I am at 181 of my ancestors figured out. Yeah!
Two, I wish that if people hinted or suggested that they were going to do something that they would follow through. It's rather annoying to be expecting some sort of event to occur, when it was mentioned in promising words.. and then nothing. Not even a few words to say that it wasn't going to happen. GRRR.... And that's all on that topic. I am not usually one to dwell.(EDITOR 'S NOTE: This has been happening to me a lot lately by different people, it is not any one particular person. I just had to vent it out and didn't want to name names.)
Three...Being at home, grounded by my defunct car is pretty okay, I am figuring out. More about what happened with my car, perhaps tomorrow morning.. but it shows me how much people really want to see me when I am not the one driving to them. It gives me more time to focus on myself and activities that I've been procrastinating.
Four.. work is going okay. I am slowly getting the person that is trying to cause problems for me out of the department. (I hope.) At least management can see now that I am not the incompetent one, because now others are complaining about her with things she's done and said to them. All in due time, All in due time..
Five.. Adam and I are still dating. I am not used to only seeing the guy that I am dating only once a week, but I guess it'll work out. He makes me happy, and I hope I do the same for him.. so it's all good.
All for now. I must go wrap up things for the night. My eyes are hurting from so much screen exposure today. Good night, everyone!
One, I finally decided to attack my family tree and find out more about my roots. I spent most of today just doing the maternal line of my family. Ancestry.com is AWESOME! I usually only can take a little bit of staring at a monitor at a time, but I think I spend at least six hours on the computer today, working on my lineage. I started with just a few papers that I received from my aunt, approximately 25-30 people.. and now I am at 181 of my ancestors figured out. Yeah!
Two, I wish that if people hinted or suggested that they were going to do something that they would follow through. It's rather annoying to be expecting some sort of event to occur, when it was mentioned in promising words.. and then nothing. Not even a few words to say that it wasn't going to happen. GRRR.... And that's all on that topic. I am not usually one to dwell.(EDITOR 'S NOTE: This has been happening to me a lot lately by different people, it is not any one particular person. I just had to vent it out and didn't want to name names.)
Three...Being at home, grounded by my defunct car is pretty okay, I am figuring out. More about what happened with my car, perhaps tomorrow morning.. but it shows me how much people really want to see me when I am not the one driving to them. It gives me more time to focus on myself and activities that I've been procrastinating.
Four.. work is going okay. I am slowly getting the person that is trying to cause problems for me out of the department. (I hope.) At least management can see now that I am not the incompetent one, because now others are complaining about her with things she's done and said to them. All in due time, All in due time..
Five.. Adam and I are still dating. I am not used to only seeing the guy that I am dating only once a week, but I guess it'll work out. He makes me happy, and I hope I do the same for him.. so it's all good.
All for now. I must go wrap up things for the night. My eyes are hurting from so much screen exposure today. Good night, everyone!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Weekend Trip to the Raptor Center
Late, but here it is. Adam and I went to the Raptor Center this weekend, and got out in nature for the first time together. It was great! I always prefer to be around trees instead of concrete, and it was great to experience it together. Another thing that we have in common is the fact that we both love being outside. I love climbing around on the rocks, hiking and breathing in more fresh air than you can find here in town. We went around and saw the birds first, and then made our way down to the lake and climbed the rocks around the lake. We found some great fossils, but unfortunately I forgot the few that I was going to bring home. (Oh well, I can find even more the next time I go!)
Then, I started to take pictures. So, we made our way back around the cages and down to the bird watching station. Not only did we see some pretty birds, but saw a momma deer and two babies. Deer are such pretty creatures.
Here are some of the pictures that I took while we were there...
Woot! I wanted to post about it earlier, but when I have a serious blog entry in mind, I cannot think about writing any others until I am done mulling over it.
Then, I started to take pictures. So, we made our way back around the cages and down to the bird watching station. Not only did we see some pretty birds, but saw a momma deer and two babies. Deer are such pretty creatures.
Here are some of the pictures that I took while we were there...
Woot! I wanted to post about it earlier, but when I have a serious blog entry in mind, I cannot think about writing any others until I am done mulling over it.
The past affecting the future
"The only man a girl can depend on is her daddy."
That line from Grease is one that has resonated with me for years, and it has even affected the way that I approach my relationships. I think this is, because in my case, I didn't even have my own dad to depend on growing up. He dropped out of my life right before my 2nd birthday, (August 7th, 1986) and didn't come back into my life until about two days before my 16th.
Fourteen years of absence from my life, and all he could say was, "I always MEANT to call or write, but time just gets away from us." Ten to one, he wouldn't have ever gotten back in contact with me, if it wasn't for the letters that I sent him secretly throughout 6th grade. And, not even then.. had it not been for my former step-mom who happened to find those letters while doing some spring cleaning! I owe it to her for the relationship I have with my father, albeit shaky and off-on as it is. At least I've gotten to meet my two half brothers, and my former step-sisters.
How has that quote and my experiences with an absent father affected my dating relationships? Easy. (Or so it may seem to me, now, that I've been thinking about it a lot (lightly for the last couple of years, heavily for the last half of year or so.)
Since I was about 16-17, I convinced most of myself that I didn't want children. I dated guys that didn't want them as well, and guys that weren't very dependable. I guess I figured that if I couldn't count on my daddy, then there weren't any guys that I could even attempt to count on to be there for me.
My realization of what I really wanted from life started coming unearthed, in my mind, during the last (very rocky) months of my previous relationship with Jeff. I was seeing how deep of a mess he was getting himself in, and I know that sooner or later, (pardon the crudeness,) the shit is going to hit the fan for him. I realized that I needed a man that I could depend on to stay out of trouble to be able to support me and a future family. I needed a man that could stay out of jail/prison and not resort to illegal practices to make money just for kicks. I needed a man that I could trust with all my heart and soul around myself and any possible children. And, perhaps most of all, I needed a man that wasn't an alcoholic like my father. Jeff didn't fit any of that bill.. which is when I just considered it a lost cause.
The truth of it is, I DO want marriage and a couple of children. I just hope with all that I have that I find a guy that will WANT to walk with me throughout all the experiences, trials, joys and tribulations of life together, no matter what happens or what comes our way. And hope that I don't have a 'hit and run' man.. one's just looking for flings and no commitment. (Like my father admitted when he dated my mother and then found out I was on the way.)
I'm scared to death that I wouldn't be a good momma... but if I didn't worry about that, shouldn't that raise more red flags about my abilities and my mindset?
I've been dating Adam for three months now. Through conversation about the topic and seeing him interact with Austin once, I know that he'd be there for me in the future if we happened to have children. And I know that he would be a good daddy. This is the first relationship that I have had that I am feeling really good about and am truly excited to see where it takes us. Perhaps it's because I've decided that I am not hiding my wants, needs and desires anymore. Or maybe it's because I have a really good feeling about us? It's definitely a combination of the two; and a whole lot more!
Maybe the line should be revised to be not that, "The only guy that a girl can depend on is her daddy," but that, "The only thing that a girl can depend on to show her what she needs and desires from her future is her past?"
That line from Grease is one that has resonated with me for years, and it has even affected the way that I approach my relationships. I think this is, because in my case, I didn't even have my own dad to depend on growing up. He dropped out of my life right before my 2nd birthday, (August 7th, 1986) and didn't come back into my life until about two days before my 16th.
Fourteen years of absence from my life, and all he could say was, "I always MEANT to call or write, but time just gets away from us." Ten to one, he wouldn't have ever gotten back in contact with me, if it wasn't for the letters that I sent him secretly throughout 6th grade. And, not even then.. had it not been for my former step-mom who happened to find those letters while doing some spring cleaning! I owe it to her for the relationship I have with my father, albeit shaky and off-on as it is. At least I've gotten to meet my two half brothers, and my former step-sisters.
How has that quote and my experiences with an absent father affected my dating relationships? Easy. (Or so it may seem to me, now, that I've been thinking about it a lot (lightly for the last couple of years, heavily for the last half of year or so.)
Since I was about 16-17, I convinced most of myself that I didn't want children. I dated guys that didn't want them as well, and guys that weren't very dependable. I guess I figured that if I couldn't count on my daddy, then there weren't any guys that I could even attempt to count on to be there for me.
My realization of what I really wanted from life started coming unearthed, in my mind, during the last (very rocky) months of my previous relationship with Jeff. I was seeing how deep of a mess he was getting himself in, and I know that sooner or later, (pardon the crudeness,) the shit is going to hit the fan for him. I realized that I needed a man that I could depend on to stay out of trouble to be able to support me and a future family. I needed a man that could stay out of jail/prison and not resort to illegal practices to make money just for kicks. I needed a man that I could trust with all my heart and soul around myself and any possible children. And, perhaps most of all, I needed a man that wasn't an alcoholic like my father. Jeff didn't fit any of that bill.. which is when I just considered it a lost cause.
The truth of it is, I DO want marriage and a couple of children. I just hope with all that I have that I find a guy that will WANT to walk with me throughout all the experiences, trials, joys and tribulations of life together, no matter what happens or what comes our way. And hope that I don't have a 'hit and run' man.. one's just looking for flings and no commitment. (Like my father admitted when he dated my mother and then found out I was on the way.)
I'm scared to death that I wouldn't be a good momma... but if I didn't worry about that, shouldn't that raise more red flags about my abilities and my mindset?
I've been dating Adam for three months now. Through conversation about the topic and seeing him interact with Austin once, I know that he'd be there for me in the future if we happened to have children. And I know that he would be a good daddy. This is the first relationship that I have had that I am feeling really good about and am truly excited to see where it takes us. Perhaps it's because I've decided that I am not hiding my wants, needs and desires anymore. Or maybe it's because I have a really good feeling about us? It's definitely a combination of the two; and a whole lot more!
Maybe the line should be revised to be not that, "The only guy that a girl can depend on is her daddy," but that, "The only thing that a girl can depend on to show her what she needs and desires from her future is her past?"
Monday, March 23, 2009
All I must say....
...is that I cannot WAIT to get my own computer again! Every time I go to open ANYTHING on the computer, one of my well meaning family members come in the room and want to peer at the screen and yack...
Not that I don't love my family, but jeez.. I haven't had a quiet moment to myself in a couple of weeks, and haven't had much of spoiling for awhile.. It takes a toll not to have quiet time.
In the period of typing those two small paragrahs, I was interrupted twice. And the TV is blaring so loud, I cannot even hear myself think. I think I am going to retire to my room for the night, and text/call Adam. Then, bury myself in a good movie, either romantic or comedic I'm not for sure yet...
Okay, my rant is done for now.. Now, back to your regularly scheduled surfing.
(Next entry, I'm going to pimp out a few of the bands that I've recently discovered. :) )
Not that I don't love my family, but jeez.. I haven't had a quiet moment to myself in a couple of weeks, and haven't had much of spoiling for awhile.. It takes a toll not to have quiet time.
In the period of typing those two small paragrahs, I was interrupted twice. And the TV is blaring so loud, I cannot even hear myself think. I think I am going to retire to my room for the night, and text/call Adam. Then, bury myself in a good movie, either romantic or comedic I'm not for sure yet...
Okay, my rant is done for now.. Now, back to your regularly scheduled surfing.
(Next entry, I'm going to pimp out a few of the bands that I've recently discovered. :) )
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