Just a quick typing...

A quick note about a few things:

One, I finally decided to attack my family tree and find out more about my roots. I spent most of today just doing the maternal line of my family. Ancestry.com is AWESOME! I usually only can take a little bit of staring at a monitor at a time, but I think I spend at least six hours on the computer today, working on my lineage. I started with just a few papers that I received from my aunt, approximately 25-30 people.. and now I am at 181 of my ancestors figured out. Yeah!

Two, I wish that if people hinted or suggested that they were going to do something that they would follow through. It's rather annoying to be expecting some sort of event to occur, when it was mentioned in promising words.. and then nothing. Not even a few words to say that it wasn't going to happen. GRRR.... And that's all on that topic. I am not usually one to dwell.(EDITOR 'S NOTE: This has been happening to me a lot lately by different people, it is not any one particular person. I just had to vent it out and didn't want to name names.)

Three...Being at home, grounded by my defunct car is pretty okay, I am figuring out. More about what happened with my car, perhaps tomorrow morning.. but it shows me how much people really want to see me when I am not the one driving to them. It gives me more time to focus on myself and activities that I've been procrastinating.

Four.. work is going okay. I am slowly getting the person that is trying to cause problems for me out of the department. (I hope.) At least management can see now that I am not the incompetent one, because now others are complaining about her with things she's done and said to them. All in due time, All in due time..

Five.. Adam and I are still dating. I am not used to only seeing the guy that I am dating only once a week, but I guess it'll work out. He makes me happy, and I hope I do the same for him.. so it's all good.

All for now. I must go wrap up things for the night. My eyes are hurting from so much screen exposure today. Good night, everyone!

Weekend Trip to the Raptor Center

Late, but here it is. Adam and I went to the Raptor Center this weekend, and got out in nature for the first time together. It was great! I always prefer to be around trees instead of concrete, and it was great to experience it together. Another thing that we have in common is the fact that we both love being outside. I love climbing around on the rocks, hiking and breathing in more fresh air than you can find here in town. We went around and saw the birds first, and then made our way down to the lake and climbed the rocks around the lake. We found some great fossils, but unfortunately I forgot the few that I was going to bring home. (Oh well, I can find even more the next time I go!)

Then, I started to take pictures. So, we made our way back around the cages and down to the bird watching station. Not only did we see some pretty birds, but saw a momma deer and two babies. Deer are such pretty creatures.

Here are some of the pictures that I took while we were there...









Woot! I wanted to post about it earlier, but when I have a serious blog entry in mind, I cannot think about writing any others until I am done mulling over it.

The past affecting the future

"The only man a girl can depend on is her daddy."

That line from Grease is one that has resonated with me for years, and it has even affected the way that I approach my relationships. I think this is, because in my case, I didn't even have my own dad to depend on growing up. He dropped out of my life right before my 2nd birthday, (August 7th, 1986) and didn't come back into my life until about two days before my 16th.

Fourteen years of absence from my life, and all he could say was, "I always MEANT to call or write, but time just gets away from us." Ten to one, he wouldn't have ever gotten back in contact with me, if it wasn't for the letters that I sent him secretly throughout 6th grade. And, not even then.. had it not been for my former step-mom who happened to find those letters while doing some spring cleaning! I owe it to her for the relationship I have with my father, albeit shaky and off-on as it is. At least I've gotten to meet my two half brothers, and my former step-sisters.

How has that quote and my experiences with an absent father affected my dating relationships? Easy. (Or so it may seem to me, now, that I've been thinking about it a lot (lightly for the last couple of years, heavily for the last half of year or so.)

Since I was about 16-17, I convinced most of myself that I didn't want children. I dated guys that didn't want them as well, and guys that weren't very dependable. I guess I figured that if I couldn't count on my daddy, then there weren't any guys that I could even attempt to count on to be there for me.

My realization of what I really wanted from life started coming unearthed, in my mind, during the last (very rocky) months of my previous relationship with Jeff. I was seeing how deep of a mess he was getting himself in, and I know that sooner or later, (pardon the crudeness,) the shit is going to hit the fan for him. I realized that I needed a man that I could depend on to stay out of trouble to be able to support me and a future family. I needed a man that could stay out of jail/prison and not resort to illegal practices to make money just for kicks. I needed a man that I could trust with all my heart and soul around myself and any possible children. And, perhaps most of all, I needed a man that wasn't an alcoholic like my father. Jeff didn't fit any of that bill.. which is when I just considered it a lost cause.

The truth of it is, I DO want marriage and a couple of children. I just hope with all that I have that I find a guy that will WANT to walk with me throughout all the experiences, trials, joys and tribulations of life together, no matter what happens or what comes our way. And hope that I don't have a 'hit and run' man.. one's just looking for flings and no commitment. (Like my father admitted when he dated my mother and then found out I was on the way.)

I'm scared to death that I wouldn't be a good momma... but if I didn't worry about that, shouldn't that raise more red flags about my abilities and my mindset?

I've been dating Adam for three months now. Through conversation about the topic and seeing him interact with Austin once, I know that he'd be there for me in the future if we happened to have children. And I know that he would be a good daddy. This is the first relationship that I have had that I am feeling really good about and am truly excited to see where it takes us. Perhaps it's because I've decided that I am not hiding my wants, needs and desires anymore. Or maybe it's because I have a really good feeling about us? It's definitely a combination of the two; and a whole lot more!

Maybe the line should be revised to be not that, "The only guy that a girl can depend on is her daddy," but that, "The only thing that a girl can depend on to show her what she needs and desires from her future is her past?"

Mood Swings, Promotions, and hot boyfriends..

I'm sad.

No reason why, really. I just am today. I get that way sometimes.

No, scratch that.

Often. I get that way often. With no reason in particular.

I mean, there's really nothing bad going on right now, it's all good. *knock on wood*

I've begun dating a really awesome guy that I've known for years.. Well, awesome, great, rockin', sweet..pick your adjective..it works. (There's plenty of entries waiting to be written involving the awesome times that I spend with him, but my blog notebook has decided to go M.I.A. and I have no idea where it has scampered off to..Never fear, once I find the little rascal my writings will be completely updated!!)

I am remodeling (cosmetically,) my bathroom. I could NOT take the boat theme one day longer. I don't know why the people who owned this house before me thought that it was a clever idea. They put medium blue on the lower half of three walls, a dark blue chair rail, one wall was completely dark blue. And they went as far as putting tacky silver knobs on the chair rail as well. BLECH.

Thanks to Adam, the chair rail and knobs are gone, and tonight I filled in the holes that were in the two walls that I will be painting first. I am going with the colors here in this picture:

along with a few accent pieces in darker blue, because the bathroom floor has blue/grey diamonds in it.

Anywho.


I got a LONG overdue promotion finally. You are now reading the thoughts and ideas of a -- *drumroll please*-- Jewelry Sales Co-ordinater. Woot! That bumps me up the payscale FIVE spots! And, it's higher up on the recognition scale, as well as being in a new area finally.

A girl can only be surrounded by shoes for so long, you know. (Lesser known fact, right??)

Happy New Years..and all that Jazz..

Plenty of different things going on that I could write about in a decent matter.. I just haven't had the inspiration deep enough to do so.

My muse has gone south for the winter apparently. I hope she or he or whomever they are is enjoying warmer weather and hot, sunny beaches for me.

Heaven knows, that is my ideal day.. lounging on the beach at Lake McBride all day long..

Anywho.

I had a good Christmas with my small family. I actually received many thoughtful gifts from my brother, and wonderful gifts from my mom. No boyfriend at Christmastime this year for me. It's the first time I've been single in at least six years~and I am enjoying it immensely!! Way more time to myself and far fewer headaches!

I managed to send out oodles of Christmas cards this year, I was very pleased with myself for not only sitting down and writing them out and addressing them, but getting them into the mailbox and out to the recipients before Christmas! First time in my life have I actually managed to do that with ALL the cards! Hallelujah! (or Gesundheit, whichever you prefer :P)

(Usually, the cards get thrown in a pile in my glove compartment or stuck haphazard into my car visor..where I come across them in June or July... I always MEAN to mail them out~it just doesn't usually happen.)

One of the cards that we sent out this year was to my brother's best friend,Adam, of twenty-something years. He used to say that he's known me since I was knee-high to a grasshopper, (They are 8-9 years older than I am.) We haven't really seen him since we moved into the new house a little over a year ago, so we sent him a card with contact information and stuff.

And..

..with a few hits and misses of contact, I finally got to talk to him again Saturday night. Two hours and fifteen minutes was our conversation.. so it's all good. He's a pretty decent guy, a musician. But my brother's best friend..so even if I was interested, it would not happen.

Onward.

It is now a few days into a brand new year, and I have yet to come up with any resolutions or really put any serious thought into making some. I should though, I really want to make on concerning my Mary Kay business, exercise routine, cooking healthy and reading... but I am still thinking about it. No one says that the resolutions HAVE to start January 1st, right?

...Umm...I had way more things to jot down in my blog tonight.. but Kid Rock's All Summer Long came on my player and distracted me. Sorry about that, my lovely readers!

So, tell me!

How was your holidays?

What kind of lovely resolutions did you come up with?

How did you spend your New Years? (If you can remember it, that is!)

I love my man

No matter what is going on in my life, or in my head, he always makes me feel better and happier just by hearing his voice and feeling his arms around me. I don't have to say a word about how I am feeling, and he knows just how to make it seem so much better.

He is the one who makes me complete and fulfills my every need, want and desire. I hope I can always do the same for him. My only worry is that I will somehow drive him away or make him unhappy. I don't ever want to do that, I want to be there for him always, and treat him the very best just as he deserves....

I am so lucky to have this kind of man already!!

I got this from a bullitin from cherrytap, and as I read each one, I knew that my man, (the one that makes me complete, my true love) does these all already, and that I am so lucky to have him in my life and that I have his love forever and ever, as he has mine.

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Title: A real boyfriend follows these:


- Hug her dont make her hug you .
- Sneak up behind her
- Grab her by the waist
- tell her shes beautiful
- tell her she has amazing eyes
- when your friends walk by say this is my girlfriend
- Say i love you to her face not over the phone or myspace , or Cherrytap ....saying it over the net renders it meaningless
- if shes sad take her in your arms and tell her everything will be okay
- kiss her on the forehead
- when you walk with her walk slowly
- Tickle her even when she says stop
- Dont say i love you Unless you Mean It.