I seem to write A LOT less when I am happy and doing alright, compared to when I am depressed and having a rough time.
I just want to say, for the moment, that I have been hanging out with two of the awesome-est people that I've had the pleasure of meeting in a very long time. I have only really known them for a few weeks but have gotten more closer to them than I have to people that I have known for years. And much faster than I usually do!
I can't believe it's been since the 6th since I've written anything, but come to think about it, that's when I started really talking to Brent and Adam and trying to be more socialable at work. Shortly after that is when I met Jaclynn and really hit it off with her. My relations with her and 'office hubby' are really explaining to me different feelings I've been having over the years and my different tastes. Interesting.. I have many thoughts rolling around in my head, but I'll let them keep molding into complete-ness by themselves and share them as they do so.
I just wanted to say that, "Yes, I am okay." and "Yes, I am doing quite fine!"... and, "No, I haven't gotten back with my ex and have no intentions on doing so or even continueing a friendship. I want to move forward and up. I just don't feel like I can do so if I let him back in."
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
This was a fun night....
Tonight found me happy and content. I went over to Adam's to hang out. Yes, we broke up a week ago, but have been gradually talking more and more via text and Facebook. We decided to get together and watch a movie or two and just hang out as friends.
It was totally nice and fun, to hang out and be just together in the same room without fighting and ill feelings. His new house helped with the atmosphere, somehow. A very, very nice place!
We sat and talked about things, and then started The Wedding Singer-an Adam Sandler movie, just in case you didn't know...(Which seems silly to me, because in my mind, who WOULDN'T know that???) Had to stop it in the middle for dinner, which was chili with bread/butter. That was very, very good! A bit too spicy for my taste, but still good. We sat and talked more at the table, and talked... and talked... Talking is sometimes under-rated, I think, after that experience. Of course, most of the time it is over-rated, but that is another story!
We went downstairs and finished the movie and then put in Bulletproof, another Sandler movie. I forgot how much I like that one! All in all, the evening was very good and I enjoyed it immensely. In fact, I believe that he is going to come over and hang out with me at my house this weekend and I'm finally going to sit down long enough to watch 'Twilight' which I've been wanting to see forever, but haven't yet.
Go figure, I was a fan of the books before they became the 'in' thing, and I didn't get to read the first one until all of them were out. I still haven't made it all the way through the series, because I haven't had the money to buy the fourth one yet. And I haven't seen the movie yet. And I think it is the second one that is now in theatres? (Is it yet? I would love to see it on the big screen, but I don't think that will happen, unfortunately. Oh well, it's much more economical to buy it on DVD than to pay the same amount of money for two ticket and only be able to see it once!
Anywho. I'm kinda starting to ramble now, so I think it's time for me to go crash.
How was your weekend, dear reader? Was it good? I hope so!
It was totally nice and fun, to hang out and be just together in the same room without fighting and ill feelings. His new house helped with the atmosphere, somehow. A very, very nice place!
We sat and talked about things, and then started The Wedding Singer-an Adam Sandler movie, just in case you didn't know...(Which seems silly to me, because in my mind, who WOULDN'T know that???) Had to stop it in the middle for dinner, which was chili with bread/butter. That was very, very good! A bit too spicy for my taste, but still good. We sat and talked more at the table, and talked... and talked... Talking is sometimes under-rated, I think, after that experience. Of course, most of the time it is over-rated, but that is another story!
We went downstairs and finished the movie and then put in Bulletproof, another Sandler movie. I forgot how much I like that one! All in all, the evening was very good and I enjoyed it immensely. In fact, I believe that he is going to come over and hang out with me at my house this weekend and I'm finally going to sit down long enough to watch 'Twilight' which I've been wanting to see forever, but haven't yet.
Go figure, I was a fan of the books before they became the 'in' thing, and I didn't get to read the first one until all of them were out. I still haven't made it all the way through the series, because I haven't had the money to buy the fourth one yet. And I haven't seen the movie yet. And I think it is the second one that is now in theatres? (Is it yet? I would love to see it on the big screen, but I don't think that will happen, unfortunately. Oh well, it's much more economical to buy it on DVD than to pay the same amount of money for two ticket and only be able to see it once!
Anywho. I'm kinda starting to ramble now, so I think it's time for me to go crash.
How was your weekend, dear reader? Was it good? I hope so!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
A new year..
..and a new beginning is upon us. That one time a year that everyone has a chance together to renew and grow as a person and a society through resolutions. I've been thinking about it and thinking about it, and there are so many things that I want to change and work on that it was very hard to narrow it down to a manageable amount.
Here's what I've come up with so far:
1.) Be my own person. No longer try to be something to suit someone else just because I want them happy. If I'm unhappy, then life just sucks. If I want to go out with friends, or just by myself, I will.
2. Speaking of going out, I want to make it to many, many more shows than I made it to last year. At least two a month if at all possible. Live music rocks, and I want to enjoy it as much as possible.
3. Be on time to work at least 90-95 percent of the time. It can't be that hard, can it? I'm a horrible procrastinator, and time just seems to slip away from me. Five minutes to me turns out to be an hour according to the clock. Sometimes, it's the other way around. Five minutes to everyone else feels like an hour to me. I wonder if this is how other people perceive time? Or I'm just kooky?
4. Get started on educating myself for a new career. I have one picked out - Administrative Assistant. I have the course chosen, and know where I am going through. I just have to save up the money to do so.
5. And of course, the requisite resolution- eat better and exercise more. I definitely can do more of both - Buy more produce and healthier food and less mac and cheese/hot dogs, as well as actually use my treadmill and exercise equipment
Wish me luck, dear readers. And good luck in your personal endeavors to better year, better health and better you!
Here's what I've come up with so far:
1.) Be my own person. No longer try to be something to suit someone else just because I want them happy. If I'm unhappy, then life just sucks. If I want to go out with friends, or just by myself, I will.
2. Speaking of going out, I want to make it to many, many more shows than I made it to last year. At least two a month if at all possible. Live music rocks, and I want to enjoy it as much as possible.
3. Be on time to work at least 90-95 percent of the time. It can't be that hard, can it? I'm a horrible procrastinator, and time just seems to slip away from me. Five minutes to me turns out to be an hour according to the clock. Sometimes, it's the other way around. Five minutes to everyone else feels like an hour to me. I wonder if this is how other people perceive time? Or I'm just kooky?
4. Get started on educating myself for a new career. I have one picked out - Administrative Assistant. I have the course chosen, and know where I am going through. I just have to save up the money to do so.
5. And of course, the requisite resolution- eat better and exercise more. I definitely can do more of both - Buy more produce and healthier food and less mac and cheese/hot dogs, as well as actually use my treadmill and exercise equipment
Wish me luck, dear readers. And good luck in your personal endeavors to better year, better health and better you!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
The year is at it's close....
....and time for a new beginning to come from this beginning. I must think of New Year's Resolutions and goals for this new year. Keep posted, once I think of them, I will record them here. Perhaps my readers would like to share theirs while we are at it? We can support each other in our individual journey to bettering ourselves and getting the most out of life!
What do you say, dear reader? Would you care to share your opinions of resolutions? Do you believe in making them? What ones did you make, if any?
What do you say, dear reader? Would you care to share your opinions of resolutions? Do you believe in making them? What ones did you make, if any?
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Live Music That Rocked (Pun Intended!)
The show was awesome! Snow Demon totally rocked the place, and Lipstick Homicide was just awesome... However, Old Man lacked... Not just to me, but I think to pretty much everyone at my table. The guitars were good, The southern rock-ish vocals were good, and the drumming was excellent. Put them all together though, and they didn't quite meld. Overall, the music was a very good part of the night. Even better was that I got to hang out with a very old friend of mine, Justin, for the first time in years. I mean, YEARS!
The members of Snow Demon were surprised to see me there, I guess. But, just because I'm not dating Adam anymore doesn't mean I'm just going to stop being their fan and come to their shows when I can make it. Andy said hi to me (in passing, but he said it first, so that was cool) and I told Brad that it they did a great show, and he looked surprised, but smiled when he said thanks. Don didn't even look at me, but as I think about it, it's totally understandable since him and Adam are close, close friends.
This was the first show that I've attended at The Mill, but I think I will definitely make it to more there! Justin, Erin, Meredith and I actually got a booth right next to the stage, which gave us a pretty good up close exposure to the bands and music, without having to worry about being jostled around on the floor and all that. It's not the same as the front view, but overall better in my opinion.
Some shots I got follows:
(Lipstick Homicide)
(Snow Demon - Brad on guitar)
(Snow Demon - Don on drums)
(Snow Demon-Brad, Andy, Cooper, & Foge)
It was a great night, the best time I've had in a long while! I'm looking forward to going to many more shows this year than last... and what entry about that night would be complete without a pic of me and my closest friend, Meredith?? :P
The members of Snow Demon were surprised to see me there, I guess. But, just because I'm not dating Adam anymore doesn't mean I'm just going to stop being their fan and come to their shows when I can make it. Andy said hi to me (in passing, but he said it first, so that was cool) and I told Brad that it they did a great show, and he looked surprised, but smiled when he said thanks. Don didn't even look at me, but as I think about it, it's totally understandable since him and Adam are close, close friends.
This was the first show that I've attended at The Mill, but I think I will definitely make it to more there! Justin, Erin, Meredith and I actually got a booth right next to the stage, which gave us a pretty good up close exposure to the bands and music, without having to worry about being jostled around on the floor and all that. It's not the same as the front view, but overall better in my opinion.
Some shots I got follows:
(Lipstick Homicide)
(Snow Demon - Brad on guitar)
(Snow Demon - Don on drums)
(Snow Demon-Brad, Andy, Cooper, & Foge)
It was a great night, the best time I've had in a long while! I'm looking forward to going to many more shows this year than last... and what entry about that night would be complete without a pic of me and my closest friend, Meredith?? :P
Monday, December 28, 2009
End of a year, end of...
... Bleh, I did it again...
Things have ended once more. Right at Christmastime. At least my presents for him ended up at his house. I do hope that he opens them and keeps them. Especially the main one. That one was one that was to show my support and the fact that I know he'll make it big some day. He can use it to derive his first top ten hit. I know he's got what it takes, I've known that from the first time I heard him play.
The smallest one is for his carrying case, so he can always have plenty of them handy when he goes to practice or performances. I looked quite a few places for the perfect holder for them. And there's two of them, so that he can have one at home and on the road.
And the middle one? He mentioned quite a few times how he has to care for his nails, and keep them shorter to more easily play. That's small enough to also carry in his guitar case.
Each present was small, but I tried to put much effort into thoughtful gifts even though I couldn't afford much. I know it probably wouldn't seem that way by their display. But apparently I can't give him what he truly needs.
He left mine at my house, although I haven't looked inside yet. I don't know if I really want to. Maybe I'll just leave it carefully to the side for now...
How quickly things spun out of control...
Things have ended once more. Right at Christmastime. At least my presents for him ended up at his house. I do hope that he opens them and keeps them. Especially the main one. That one was one that was to show my support and the fact that I know he'll make it big some day. He can use it to derive his first top ten hit. I know he's got what it takes, I've known that from the first time I heard him play.
The smallest one is for his carrying case, so he can always have plenty of them handy when he goes to practice or performances. I looked quite a few places for the perfect holder for them. And there's two of them, so that he can have one at home and on the road.
And the middle one? He mentioned quite a few times how he has to care for his nails, and keep them shorter to more easily play. That's small enough to also carry in his guitar case.
Each present was small, but I tried to put much effort into thoughtful gifts even though I couldn't afford much. I know it probably wouldn't seem that way by their display. But apparently I can't give him what he truly needs.
He left mine at my house, although I haven't looked inside yet. I don't know if I really want to. Maybe I'll just leave it carefully to the side for now...
How quickly things spun out of control...
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Back to normal..
...the inside of my house is, anyway!
Yesterday was Christmas, and today was the tear-down. The inside of my house is void of trees, lights and breakable holiday decorations once more.
My living room furniture is back in it's correct spots, which means I can use the dining room set once again. Very happy about that!
It's been a very long day, and a stressful evening that took me six hours to unwind from a five minute event. I think I am going to head to bed now.
Good night my dear readers!
Yesterday was Christmas, and today was the tear-down. The inside of my house is void of trees, lights and breakable holiday decorations once more.
My living room furniture is back in it's correct spots, which means I can use the dining room set once again. Very happy about that!
It's been a very long day, and a stressful evening that took me six hours to unwind from a five minute event. I think I am going to head to bed now.
Good night my dear readers!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Christmas has come and gone...
This year has gone by way too quickly!
Christmas finally came and I had a wonderful time with my little family. We all slept in a bit, made cinnamon rolls for breakfast, and then commenced on the gift giving. Many good things came my way, though the presents don't mean as much to me as the one on one time with my mother and brother (and the pup too!), a whole day, uninterrupted by work or other obligations. I relished every moment of it!
For our Christmas dinner this year, we had: pork chops, five cup salad, corn, bread, potatoes and gravy. And for desert... mom's legendary cherry cheesecake! Yuuummm... making myself hungry just thinking about it!
Then, the rest of the evening/night was spent playing ONE game of Chinese Checkers. I don't remember that game being so hard to win! :P
Christmas finally came and I had a wonderful time with my little family. We all slept in a bit, made cinnamon rolls for breakfast, and then commenced on the gift giving. Many good things came my way, though the presents don't mean as much to me as the one on one time with my mother and brother (and the pup too!), a whole day, uninterrupted by work or other obligations. I relished every moment of it!
For our Christmas dinner this year, we had: pork chops, five cup salad, corn, bread, potatoes and gravy. And for desert... mom's legendary cherry cheesecake! Yuuummm... making myself hungry just thinking about it!
Then, the rest of the evening/night was spent playing ONE game of Chinese Checkers. I don't remember that game being so hard to win! :P
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Not much really to say...
...except my one day off went by far too quickly! Of course, I slept until noon (a total of ten-ish hours), cleaned house, did christmas cards and am getting ready for another four days of work. But it doesn't FEEL like I've done much!
I also started a music blog, where I will chronicle songs that I come across that I like or that were referred to my listening discretion. Ideally, each entry will have the video (or audio), lyrics, band website and a link to quick facts... I'll see how this works out :)
Here's the link:
http://thebeatgoesonhere.blogspot.com/
Please follow and it and comment whenever the mood strikes! And if you have suggestions for things for me to listen to, feel free to email me at: zombie_princess_2509@yahoo.com. All I ask is that you mention the blog in the title, so that I know it's more likely to be legit! Thanks!
I also started a music blog, where I will chronicle songs that I come across that I like or that were referred to my listening discretion. Ideally, each entry will have the video (or audio), lyrics, band website and a link to quick facts... I'll see how this works out :)
Here's the link:
http://thebeatgoesonhere.blogspot.com/
Please follow and it and comment whenever the mood strikes! And if you have suggestions for things for me to listen to, feel free to email me at: zombie_princess_2509@yahoo.com. All I ask is that you mention the blog in the title, so that I know it's more likely to be legit! Thanks!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Again, one of my most favorite songs..
How funny... a decade ago at a school dance, Liz made this my song.. it didn't really fit me then, but Lord it does now!! I LOVE this song, I can listen to it over and over, and relate to every word...
Meet Virginia
Train
She doesn't own a dress
Her hair is always a mess,
If you catch her stealin' she won't confess
She's Beautiful.
Smokes a pack a day, wait,
That's me, but anyway
She doesn't care a thing
About that hey,
She thinks I'm beautiful
Meet Virginia
She never compromises,
Loves babies and surprises,
wears high heels when
she exercises
Ain't that beautiful
Meet Virginia
Well she wants to be the Queen
Then she thinks about her scene
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the Queen"
Daddy wrestles alligators
Mama works on carburetors
Her brother is a fine mediator
For the president
And here she is again on the phone
just like me hates to be alone
we just like to sit home
and rip on the President
Meet Virginia, Mmmm...
Well she wants to live her life
Then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna live this life"
She only drinks coffee at midnight
When the moment is not right
Her timing is quite, unusual
You see her confidence is tragic, but her
Intuition magic And the shape of her body?
Unusual
Meet Virgina I can't wait to
Meet Virginia, yeah eh yeah hey hey hey
Well she wants to be the queen
then she thinks about her scene
Well she wants to live her life
then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the queen"
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna live this
Meet Virginia
Train
She doesn't own a dress
Her hair is always a mess,
If you catch her stealin' she won't confess
She's Beautiful.
Smokes a pack a day, wait,
That's me, but anyway
She doesn't care a thing
About that hey,
She thinks I'm beautiful
Meet Virginia
She never compromises,
Loves babies and surprises,
wears high heels when
she exercises
Ain't that beautiful
Meet Virginia
Well she wants to be the Queen
Then she thinks about her scene
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the Queen"
Daddy wrestles alligators
Mama works on carburetors
Her brother is a fine mediator
For the president
And here she is again on the phone
just like me hates to be alone
we just like to sit home
and rip on the President
Meet Virginia, Mmmm...
Well she wants to live her life
Then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna live this life"
She only drinks coffee at midnight
When the moment is not right
Her timing is quite, unusual
You see her confidence is tragic, but her
Intuition magic And the shape of her body?
Unusual
Meet Virgina I can't wait to
Meet Virginia, yeah eh yeah hey hey hey
Well she wants to be the queen
then she thinks about her scene
Well she wants to live her life
then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the queen"
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna live this
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
It should be changed to " 'Til Life Do You Part"
There is no such thing as a monogamous, long lasting, loving marriages or even regular dating relationships, at least from what I've been witnessing. Just for a small example, almost every boyfriend that I have had has possessed wandering eyes and/or other wandering body parts.. I can't begin to count the times that I've heard versions of, "Well, if I can't get it when I want it.. I'll go elsewhere."
No, this isn't a lamenting entry about personal dating misfortunes. What really got this topic milling around in my head was something that I was told yesterday by a family friend, "Alice". Her and her husband have been married for decades. Apparently he's found yet another young 'admirer', THIRTY-FIVE YEARS his junior! When Alice found out about the younger woman, he told her that she's upset over nothing because nothing physical has or will happen, they're just friends. However, anyone can acknowledge the fact that there are more than one type of cheating... and, this isn't the first time that this situation has arisen in their marriage.
This seems to be more like an emotional affair... she calls him at least four times a day, he drives her where ever she needs to go, he omits his meeting with her when talking to Alice. He also talks about more personal issues with her than he does with his own family. I shake my head when I think about it, because I can't believe how many people actually practice this behavior and don't seem to realize what they are risking, and what great people they may end up losing. They don't seem to even think about how this will affect those closest to them. In this particular case, Alice might finally throw in the towel, because she knows that she deserves so much more than what she is being given.
What seems to complicate the whole idea of cheating and 'having an affair, is that every single person has a varying idea of it's definition. And that some people are absolutely against the idea in any shape or form, while other people agree to have open relationships so that they can bang other people and there's no issue. That's an extreme that I can't begin to understand. Why be in a relationship when its completely open? What's the point of the marriage or the relationship? There's a guy at my work that is in that istuation, and seem to bounce around a group of specific women that we both work with.... and all the women that he hangs around with totally don't care!
There's the situation that occurs when two people who are dating, or married to one another, and they have conflicting idea about cheating, it's definition and what it encompasses. That offender may swear that it's not cheating, but to that other person, it is blatantly so. How does one attempt to rebuild the trust that they feel deep in their heart was broken when the other doesn't see the problem?
Sometimes, the trust that was shattered from cheating can be repaired quickly. In other cases, it could take a while longer, even a decade or more. I have experience that speaks for that latter. I had a boyfriend that cheated on me when I was in tenth grade. It's taken over ten years, but I'm now finally getting to the point where I can talk to him and it doesn't bother me as much, and I don't have anger and feelings of betrayal boiling over at him. Maybe that sounds crazy to you, dear reader, but I guess I have a much more stricter version of 'cheating's' definition and its' hard for me to trust people as it is. When you throw in questionable behavior performed by a boyfriend or close friend, and it makes it near impossible for me to immediately trust again, no matter how hard I try to forgive and move on.
I've really digressed on this topic, but it's really struck a chord with me. My second mom and her husband divorced after fifteen years, my mom and her fiance' split after ten years and my father and stepmother after twenty, just to name a few of the relationships that I've seen disintegrate in my life, that were prime examples of 'Til Life Do Us Part'.
I really would love your input on this...
What are your opinions on the subject, dear reader?
What does cheating encompass?
Do you think this behavior should be forgiven?
What should be done when one person in a relationship does something that offends the other and they don't see the problem?
And now, with the new electronic means of communication that are readily available... do you think 'sexting' with someone that is not the person you are dating is wrong? Do you think dirty talk or flirting is wrong, or do you think it's acceptable?
No, this isn't a lamenting entry about personal dating misfortunes. What really got this topic milling around in my head was something that I was told yesterday by a family friend, "Alice". Her and her husband have been married for decades. Apparently he's found yet another young 'admirer', THIRTY-FIVE YEARS his junior! When Alice found out about the younger woman, he told her that she's upset over nothing because nothing physical has or will happen, they're just friends. However, anyone can acknowledge the fact that there are more than one type of cheating... and, this isn't the first time that this situation has arisen in their marriage.
This seems to be more like an emotional affair... she calls him at least four times a day, he drives her where ever she needs to go, he omits his meeting with her when talking to Alice. He also talks about more personal issues with her than he does with his own family. I shake my head when I think about it, because I can't believe how many people actually practice this behavior and don't seem to realize what they are risking, and what great people they may end up losing. They don't seem to even think about how this will affect those closest to them. In this particular case, Alice might finally throw in the towel, because she knows that she deserves so much more than what she is being given.
What seems to complicate the whole idea of cheating and 'having an affair, is that every single person has a varying idea of it's definition. And that some people are absolutely against the idea in any shape or form, while other people agree to have open relationships so that they can bang other people and there's no issue. That's an extreme that I can't begin to understand. Why be in a relationship when its completely open? What's the point of the marriage or the relationship? There's a guy at my work that is in that istuation, and seem to bounce around a group of specific women that we both work with.... and all the women that he hangs around with totally don't care!
There's the situation that occurs when two people who are dating, or married to one another, and they have conflicting idea about cheating, it's definition and what it encompasses. That offender may swear that it's not cheating, but to that other person, it is blatantly so. How does one attempt to rebuild the trust that they feel deep in their heart was broken when the other doesn't see the problem?
Sometimes, the trust that was shattered from cheating can be repaired quickly. In other cases, it could take a while longer, even a decade or more. I have experience that speaks for that latter. I had a boyfriend that cheated on me when I was in tenth grade. It's taken over ten years, but I'm now finally getting to the point where I can talk to him and it doesn't bother me as much, and I don't have anger and feelings of betrayal boiling over at him. Maybe that sounds crazy to you, dear reader, but I guess I have a much more stricter version of 'cheating's' definition and its' hard for me to trust people as it is. When you throw in questionable behavior performed by a boyfriend or close friend, and it makes it near impossible for me to immediately trust again, no matter how hard I try to forgive and move on.
I've really digressed on this topic, but it's really struck a chord with me. My second mom and her husband divorced after fifteen years, my mom and her fiance' split after ten years and my father and stepmother after twenty, just to name a few of the relationships that I've seen disintegrate in my life, that were prime examples of 'Til Life Do Us Part'.
I really would love your input on this...
What are your opinions on the subject, dear reader?
What does cheating encompass?
Do you think this behavior should be forgiven?
What should be done when one person in a relationship does something that offends the other and they don't see the problem?
And now, with the new electronic means of communication that are readily available... do you think 'sexting' with someone that is not the person you are dating is wrong? Do you think dirty talk or flirting is wrong, or do you think it's acceptable?
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...
...from the hoards of angry, attitude-filled customers, to the presents piling up under my tree, to the snow drifts under the windows (and, in the case of the blizzard last week, in the roads)...
And also to the piles of Christmas cards that I've been slowly signing and addressing. Fun, Fun. I always start this project out with wild excitement and humor ~~until I've spent what feels like hours signing and addressing, and looking up addresses of people who's I've lost through the past year. It's made worse this year, because of the fact I've been really sick for the last week, so I do some and then nap.. and do some, and then doze off. That's why I'm finally signing off the computer in the wee hours of this morning, been sleeping off and on in front of it, doing these cards because the great holiday is only A WEEK AND HALF away! My ultimate goal is to have these cards in everyone's mailboxes by the holiday. I don't know if I'll be able to make it into all of them, but I'm trying my hardest..
I've gotta go crash into my comfy bed now, with my layers (and layers) of blankets. I cannot stay awake any longer. I hope that you, dear reader, are having a wonderful week and I plan on writing more in the next couple of days. See you then!
And also to the piles of Christmas cards that I've been slowly signing and addressing. Fun, Fun. I always start this project out with wild excitement and humor ~~until I've spent what feels like hours signing and addressing, and looking up addresses of people who's I've lost through the past year. It's made worse this year, because of the fact I've been really sick for the last week, so I do some and then nap.. and do some, and then doze off. That's why I'm finally signing off the computer in the wee hours of this morning, been sleeping off and on in front of it, doing these cards because the great holiday is only A WEEK AND HALF away! My ultimate goal is to have these cards in everyone's mailboxes by the holiday. I don't know if I'll be able to make it into all of them, but I'm trying my hardest..
I've gotta go crash into my comfy bed now, with my layers (and layers) of blankets. I cannot stay awake any longer. I hope that you, dear reader, are having a wonderful week and I plan on writing more in the next couple of days. See you then!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
*insert bouncy and energetic title here*
My Sunday and my weekend have seemed incredibly long. Actually, as I think about it, every day seems to drag on and on anymore. I'm finding it harder and harder to keep track of the dates, and days as they go by. A product of being an adult, I assume?
I CANNOT believe that Christmas is only eleven days away.. it seems to have snuck up on me big time this year. Not really snuck up, but just arrived with little fanfare. I'm prepared with my shopping (only a few more items to get for a friend of mine and her daughter,) but it just seems impossible that the end of the year is upon us. I tend to get melancholy around this time every year, wondering what it was exactly that I accomplished during the previous eleven and a half months. And the answer always tends to be closer to 'nada' than anything substantial. I do have lots that I WANT to do, but nowhere near enough money or ability to actually do them. So, for the moment, I am living vicariously through Meredith for my travel dreams, (and learned languages,); my musician friends for the abilities they have for instruments and vocals; and my best friend Jenny for her adorable son(and my godson).... dreams are good, and I love sharing in my friends and family's successes so it's not completely a losing situation, right?
~~insert sneezing fit here~~
God, I hate being sick... It's been more and more lately that I am not feeling well or am physically sick, or just so lethargic that I can't do much. Friday, yesterday and off/on today I've been feeling very physically ill. And today, I barely had the energy to do more than sitting upright on the computer or watching TV. Add that in with the fact that I seem to break out in hives whenever I take any sort of medication and my active asthma and I am just miserable. Yes, dear reader, I do plan on going into the doctor soon, but I need to wait until after the first of the year if at all possible. That's when my insurance will kick in again.
One of the things that I cannot get out of my head that I want to do is a correspondence course for Administrative Assistant. I've been thinking about it more and more for the last couple of years ~~ ever since I had to take medical leave for my back and my doctor told me then that I needed to find a new job. After months of trying to sort through what I want and like to do, it narrowed down to this field. http://www.scitraining.com/Courses_US/Administrative_Assistant_Secretary/Course.htm
I've done research on this particular place and on the effectiveness of completion of correspondence classes on new (and better) employment and haven't seen much negativity from reliable sources. I do know that if it would be productive and real, I would ask Santa for financial help in obtaining this dream of mine.. I figure, if he can afford to run the North Pole toy factories and pay all the little people salaries, $37.16 a month would be a reindeer drop in the snow! Alas, it doesn't work that way..
It's funny how people drift in and out of your life, you know? There's a major handful that come and go on a regular basis in my life. Just off the top of my head, this would include Gabe/Becky, Joshua and Jenna.
It seems like forever that I've known both Gabe and Becky.. Gabe was the first boyfriend that I ever had, Becky used to date my brother and now is dating Gabe..
Josh, I've known since 2nd grade. However, we lost contact for about five years after he graduated high school and joined the service. We still talk via text, but it's odd.
Jenna is actually my exes sister, and a pretty cool chick. I looked her up earlier this year, and she was more than willing to chat. Unlike her brother, that is. I did write him last month, extending a possible olive branch of friendship, but it was shot down. Not by him, but by his girlfriend. I think that's odd, he must be whipped because he used to be his own man and not let others tell him what to do. Oh well, maybe he'll change his mind sooner or later... Everything happens for a reason, right?
Gah, drifting asleep at the keyboard without really realizing it. That's a signal that I should go crash into my bed, don't you think? I think I'm going to go make a hot tea for my upset stomach and hopefully fall asleep the right way under my covers in bed very shortly. I was so appreciative of how understanding and nice Adam was about not getting together this weekend. He got a ride with Tim to come see me for a few minutes at my work, after I told him that I was sick.. and then was very nice about me needing today to rest. We definitely will have to get together soon! I hope he likes his Christmas presents, I'm impatient to give him one of them, I spent weeks thinking about what to get him, and the idea dawned on me last week. And even if he hates it, I hope he's a good actor! :)
Until next time, dear reader! I hope you have a good start to your week!
I CANNOT believe that Christmas is only eleven days away.. it seems to have snuck up on me big time this year. Not really snuck up, but just arrived with little fanfare. I'm prepared with my shopping (only a few more items to get for a friend of mine and her daughter,) but it just seems impossible that the end of the year is upon us. I tend to get melancholy around this time every year, wondering what it was exactly that I accomplished during the previous eleven and a half months. And the answer always tends to be closer to 'nada' than anything substantial. I do have lots that I WANT to do, but nowhere near enough money or ability to actually do them. So, for the moment, I am living vicariously through Meredith for my travel dreams, (and learned languages,); my musician friends for the abilities they have for instruments and vocals; and my best friend Jenny for her adorable son(and my godson).... dreams are good, and I love sharing in my friends and family's successes so it's not completely a losing situation, right?
~~insert sneezing fit here~~
God, I hate being sick... It's been more and more lately that I am not feeling well or am physically sick, or just so lethargic that I can't do much. Friday, yesterday and off/on today I've been feeling very physically ill. And today, I barely had the energy to do more than sitting upright on the computer or watching TV. Add that in with the fact that I seem to break out in hives whenever I take any sort of medication and my active asthma and I am just miserable. Yes, dear reader, I do plan on going into the doctor soon, but I need to wait until after the first of the year if at all possible. That's when my insurance will kick in again.
One of the things that I cannot get out of my head that I want to do is a correspondence course for Administrative Assistant. I've been thinking about it more and more for the last couple of years ~~ ever since I had to take medical leave for my back and my doctor told me then that I needed to find a new job. After months of trying to sort through what I want and like to do, it narrowed down to this field. http://www.scitraining.com/Courses_US/Administrative_Assistant_Secretary/Course.htm
I've done research on this particular place and on the effectiveness of completion of correspondence classes on new (and better) employment and haven't seen much negativity from reliable sources. I do know that if it would be productive and real, I would ask Santa for financial help in obtaining this dream of mine.. I figure, if he can afford to run the North Pole toy factories and pay all the little people salaries, $37.16 a month would be a reindeer drop in the snow! Alas, it doesn't work that way..
It's funny how people drift in and out of your life, you know? There's a major handful that come and go on a regular basis in my life. Just off the top of my head, this would include Gabe/Becky, Joshua and Jenna.
It seems like forever that I've known both Gabe and Becky.. Gabe was the first boyfriend that I ever had, Becky used to date my brother and now is dating Gabe..
Josh, I've known since 2nd grade. However, we lost contact for about five years after he graduated high school and joined the service. We still talk via text, but it's odd.
Jenna is actually my exes sister, and a pretty cool chick. I looked her up earlier this year, and she was more than willing to chat. Unlike her brother, that is. I did write him last month, extending a possible olive branch of friendship, but it was shot down. Not by him, but by his girlfriend. I think that's odd, he must be whipped because he used to be his own man and not let others tell him what to do. Oh well, maybe he'll change his mind sooner or later... Everything happens for a reason, right?
Gah, drifting asleep at the keyboard without really realizing it. That's a signal that I should go crash into my bed, don't you think? I think I'm going to go make a hot tea for my upset stomach and hopefully fall asleep the right way under my covers in bed very shortly. I was so appreciative of how understanding and nice Adam was about not getting together this weekend. He got a ride with Tim to come see me for a few minutes at my work, after I told him that I was sick.. and then was very nice about me needing today to rest. We definitely will have to get together soon! I hope he likes his Christmas presents, I'm impatient to give him one of them, I spent weeks thinking about what to get him, and the idea dawned on me last week. And even if he hates it, I hope he's a good actor! :)
Until next time, dear reader! I hope you have a good start to your week!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
What a very long week...
I have, perhaps, ten minutes to write before I get kicked off the computer. I guess we'll see how much writing I can actually do before that happens!
This week is finally done for me. Tonight is my Friday night. It began with a blizzard, and ended today with being sick. I got physically sick before work, and had that persistent feeling all day that it was going to happen again~ but it hasn't yet.. thank goodness!
(That reminds me, someone mentioned to me that they had read through my blog a second time, and noticed that I never said when I wasn't feeling well or was sick.. and since they've known me I've been sick or not feeling well often. I'm still trying to figure out why they (or anyone) would want to read a blog that details the occasions when the writer wasn't feeling well.. I didn't think to blog about that, I guess.)
Anywho.
Tonight I had a pleasant surprise of talking to Becky and Gabe on the phone. That was nice to talk to them, and catch up for a few minutes with Becky. :) I'm not quite for sure whether Gabe thought it was good to talk, by the sound of his voice.. but I enjoyed it!
I also was the recipient of an unexpected visit from Adam at work today. That was very nice as well. :) We couldn't' talk for long, but it was definitely better than nothing. He was going up to a friend's place in North Liberty for a guy's night of gaming and drinking, fun times to be had, for sure.
Work on the other hand, kinda started to suck at the end.. but I made it. Managed to stay in the department with the exception of a half hour on the door. Store Manager Chad tried to shove me up front a little after 3~~what a shame that both Jane and I had fifteen minute breaks to take before I left at four!
My writing is a bit rusty, I apologize. It's bound to get better if I can get back into a habit of making new entries on a routine basis. I hear footsteps, I must go now.
I should probably go lay down again, I'm feeling worse and worse as the weekend progresses... I plan on going downstairs, curling up in a little ball under all of my covers and reading myself to sleep while drinking a hot tea. I then plan on sleeping in tomorrow.. and hibernating with some medicine and a nap or two.
I do hope that you have a good night, dear reader!
This week is finally done for me. Tonight is my Friday night. It began with a blizzard, and ended today with being sick. I got physically sick before work, and had that persistent feeling all day that it was going to happen again~ but it hasn't yet.. thank goodness!
(That reminds me, someone mentioned to me that they had read through my blog a second time, and noticed that I never said when I wasn't feeling well or was sick.. and since they've known me I've been sick or not feeling well often. I'm still trying to figure out why they (or anyone) would want to read a blog that details the occasions when the writer wasn't feeling well.. I didn't think to blog about that, I guess.)
Anywho.
Tonight I had a pleasant surprise of talking to Becky and Gabe on the phone. That was nice to talk to them, and catch up for a few minutes with Becky. :) I'm not quite for sure whether Gabe thought it was good to talk, by the sound of his voice.. but I enjoyed it!
I also was the recipient of an unexpected visit from Adam at work today. That was very nice as well. :) We couldn't' talk for long, but it was definitely better than nothing. He was going up to a friend's place in North Liberty for a guy's night of gaming and drinking, fun times to be had, for sure.
Work on the other hand, kinda started to suck at the end.. but I made it. Managed to stay in the department with the exception of a half hour on the door. Store Manager Chad tried to shove me up front a little after 3~~what a shame that both Jane and I had fifteen minute breaks to take before I left at four!
My writing is a bit rusty, I apologize. It's bound to get better if I can get back into a habit of making new entries on a routine basis. I hear footsteps, I must go now.
I should probably go lay down again, I'm feeling worse and worse as the weekend progresses... I plan on going downstairs, curling up in a little ball under all of my covers and reading myself to sleep while drinking a hot tea. I then plan on sleeping in tomorrow.. and hibernating with some medicine and a nap or two.
I do hope that you have a good night, dear reader!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
I know, I know...
I did it again... I let my blog go to the wayside for far too long..
Okay, I'm going to TRY to get back in the habit of writing on regular basis! I swear I will!
Stay tuned for some new updates sometime soon :)
Okay, I'm going to TRY to get back in the habit of writing on regular basis! I swear I will!
Stay tuned for some new updates sometime soon :)
Friday, July 3, 2009
200 things
200: My middle name is: Kay
199: I was born in: Iowa City, Iowa
198: I am really: bored and tired
197: My cell phone company is: A T & T
196: My eye color is: blue
195: My shoe size is: 7
194: My ring size is: 7
193: My height is: 5'1
192: I am allergic to: cats
191: My 1st car was: Ford Probe (very briefly)
190: My 1st job was: Iowa City Press Citizen paper delivery girl
189: Last book you read: The third book in the Twilight series
188: My bed is: a very comfy four poster wrought iron full sized bed
187: My pet: is a 11 pound Bishon Frise named Cloud
186: My best friend: is my mom, Adam, Josh and Jenny.
185: My favorite shampoo is: Garner Fructise
184: AIM name: don't have one
183: Piggy Banks are: cute
182: In my pockets: lip gloss, cell phone and pen
181: On my calendar: TONS of stuff this month! From garage sale to Snow Demon show, to Lammasfest
180: Marriage is: an ideal that I don't know is achievable to keep going in the long run anymore
179: Sponge Bob can: die lol
178: My mom: is awesome.
177: The last three cd's I bought were: ummm... I can't say. They were a gift for someone that I haven't given to them yet.
176: Last YouTube video watched: "Something in Your Mouth" by Nickelback
175: How many cousins do you have? I don't know.
174: Do you have any siblings: Yes.
173: Are your parents divorced: Never got married. And not together.
172: Are you taller than your mom? a bit
171: Do you play an instrument? I'm trying the guitar. I would really love to get a flute again.
170: What did you do yesterday? worked. And texted David (Jingles) until I fell asleep lol
I believe in:
169: Love at first sight: Yes.
168: Luck: Yes.
167: Fate: Yes.
166: Yourself: sometimes.
165: Aliens: Anything is possible until disproven
164: Heaven: ummm...
163: Hell: Sometimes I think I work there lol
162: God: To each their own
161: Horoscopes: They are fun to read if I am really, really bored...
160: Soul mates: I don't know. Everything is possible, but have I seen ongoing evidence in my life?
159: Ghosts: Yes.
158: Gay Marriage: Yes.
157: War: not really.
156: Orbs: Most of the time it's just dust.
155: Magic: Yes.
Which is Better
154: Hugs or Kisses: Both. Depends on my mood.
153: Drunk or High: Neither
152: Phone or Online: texting.
151: Red heads or Black haired: depends on who..
150: Blondes or Brunettes: Depends on my hair color lol
149: Hot or cold: hot-bikini weather please!
148: Summer or winter: Summer
147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn
146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
145: Night or Day: night if I am home by myself, Day if I have time to go to the beach
144: Oranges or Apples: Neither
143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly.
142: McDonald's or Burger King: Whopper, please!
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate? neither. Milk upsets my stomach
140: PC or MAC? Mac
139: Flip flops or high heals: high heels. (the higher, the better!)
138: Ugly and rich OR Sexy and poor: sexy and poor
137: Coke or Pepsi: Tea
136: Hillary or Obama: Obama
135: buried or cremated: ...
134: Singing or Dancing: Singing
133: Coach or Chanel: Neither
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Neither, Carrie Underwood.
131: Small town or Big city: Small town
130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam Sandler all the way!
128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure
127: East Coast or West Coast?: umm... is this really a question?
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas. I love giving people gifts, and hate getting them.
125: Chocolate or Flowers: potted plants
124: Disney or Six Flags: Haven't been to either
123: Yankees or Red Sox: Not a baseball fan
122: War: Should've been over with long ago.
121: George Bush: Very good thing he isn't in power anymore.
120: Gay Marriage: Good.
118: Abortion: Only in the most dire situations.
117: MySpace: I have one. I don't hardly do much with it.
116: Reality TV: Overkill!
115: Parents: Mom is awesome, Dad is a deadbeat.
114: Back stabbers: Too many of them at work, I just deal with it.
113: Ebay: Haven't been on it.
112: Sex: is the question.. and you know the answer.
111: Work: Not too bad, if not for the customers, and the bosses, lol
110: My Neighbors: I don't talk to any but one, Clint and Emily with the cutest little kids!
109: Gas Prices: I don't remember the last time I could fill my tank at one time.
108: Designer Clothes: I'd be happy to just be able to get some new clothes from Stuff. I can't picture buying full price at Target or Walmart anymore.
107: College: Not attainable at the moment
106: Sports: Cheerleading was my favorite. I like Volleyball. I wish that was a one person sport. And tennis, I love tennis.
105: My family: is very important to me.
104: The future: is very uncertain.
Last time I
103: Hugged someone: today.
102: Last time you ate: about an hour ago, mac and cheese with hot dogs.
101: Saw someone I haven't seen in awhile: A couple of weeks ago, when I went over to Mike's.
100: Cried in front of someone: I try not to do that, ever.
99: Went to a movie theater: Quarantine
98: Took a vacation: hah! Four years ago, when I went to Nebraska.
97: Swam in a pool: When I was still dating Jeff, and went with Kirk and Marsha to one of their friend's houses with an indoor pool.
96: Changed a diaper: A long time ago.
95: Got my nails done:Professionally- A year or so.
94: Went to a wedding: Two years? It was Kirk and Marsha's
93: Broke a bone: Not jinxing myself lol
92: Got a piercing: When the girls at work needed practice a couple of months ago...
91: Broke the law: Speeding is my weakness *knock on wood*
90: Texted: Adam
MISC
89: Who makes you laugh the most: David
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: I'm leaving?
87: The last movie I saw: Grease 2
86: The thing I'm looking forward to the most is: Lammasfest
85: The thing I'm not looking forward to: Work.
84: People call me:by my name.
83: The most difficult thing to do is: get to work on time.
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Once
81: My zodiac sign is: leo
80: The first person i talked to today was: my mom
79: First time you had a crush: Danny Slaymaker or Billy Duree. It was a long time ago.
78: The one person who i can't hide things from: Mike or Josh
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: David
76: Right now I am talking to: Adam
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Who said I am going to grow up?
74: I have/will get a job: as Jewelry Sales Coordinator
73: Tomorrow: I have to work...
72: Today: is almost done..
71: Next Summer: is here.
70: Next Weekend: work and the beach if it is nice.
69: I have these pets: Didn't I already answer this? Cloud, a 11 pound bishon with a room size personality.
68: The worst sound in the world: nails on a chalkboard... and excessive chatter
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: no one
66: People that make you happy: My family, Adam and my friends
65: Last time I cried: I don't keep track.
64: My friends are: very cool people
63: My computer is: actually my mom's. Both of my computers are dead..
62: My School: was a hick school.
61: My Car: 2000 ford focus
60: I lose all respect for people who: are pushy and two-faced.
59: The movie I cried at was: I always cry in the last scenes of The Wedding Singer.. but they are happy tears. I want that for myself someday!
58: Your hair color is: auburn
57: TV shows you watch: Ghost Hunters, Ghost Hunters International, and Friends. Also, I Love Lucy and Golden Girls
56: Favorite web site: Facebook, Twitter and Myspace.
55: Your dream vacation: The coast.
54: The worst pain i ever felt: When my back was so bad, that I couldn't walk upright and worked for months that way.
53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium Well
52: My room is: very nice. Clean, orderly and comfy
51: My favorite celebrity is: is...was... Michael Jackson, Reba, and Jennifer Aniston
50: Where would you like to be: Beach!!! In the water!
49: Do you want children: Yes. Before I am too old to enjoy them.
48: Dream pet: The one I have.
47: Who's your best friend: I have a few: Adam, Mike and Josh. (Didn't we already have this question?)
46: More guy friends or girl friends: guys
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: getting the rare chance to talk to Josh
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Adam
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Not yet.
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: No
41: Have you pre-named your children: I have a few names.. but haven't really thought of it yet.
40: Last person I got mad at: Adam
39: I would like to move to: my house, but I would love to move the interstate!
38: I wish I was a professional: singer.
My Favorites
37: Candy: Milky Ways
36: Vehicle: Ford Probe
35: President: JFK or Obama
34: State visited: I haven't been to many.... but I loved Chicago
33: Cell Phone Provider: I don't have a favorite, really
32: Athlete: Mike counts, he's an ultimate fighter.
31: Actor: I have to say Brad Pitt, before he got with Jolie. Or any guy that is trim and buff.. too many guys are letting themselves go, even if they are actors.
30: Actress: Jennifer Aniston
29: Singer: A lot!
28: Band: Some are: Nickelback, Nirvana, Divide the Day, Kid Rock
27: Clothing Store: Stuff, Etc.
26: Grocery Store: Aldis
25: TV show: Ghosthunters!
24: Movie: Wedding Singer!
23: Website: Facebook
22: Animal: Cats and Dogs
21: Theme Park: NA
20: Holiday: Halloween-I love scaring the neighborhood kids lol (and Christmas, because I love buying my friends and family gifts!)
19: Sport to watch: Football!
18: Sport to play: Volleyball, football and tennis
17: Magazine: Cosmo
16: Book: Mistress of Darkness, or the Twilight Series
15: Day of the week: Sunday and Monday
14: Beach: The reservoir
13: Concert Attended: Valiant Thorr
12: Thing to cook: Mac and Cheese with hotdogs
11: Food: steak tips with mushrooms, rice
10: Restaurant: Lonestar or Outback Steakhouse
9: Radio Station: KHAK, Rock 108
8: Yankee Candle Scent: Never been there.
7: Perfume: Britney Spear's Curious or Fantasy.
6: Flower: lilies!! Potted ones, please!
5: Color: Red
4: Talk Show host: Jon Stewart
3: Comedian: Adam Sandler, Dane Cook, Jeff Dunham
2: Dog Breed: bishon or yorkie
1: Are you ready for this survey to be over? Oh dear lord, yes!
199: I was born in: Iowa City, Iowa
198: I am really: bored and tired
197: My cell phone company is: A T & T
196: My eye color is: blue
195: My shoe size is: 7
194: My ring size is: 7
193: My height is: 5'1
192: I am allergic to: cats
191: My 1st car was: Ford Probe (very briefly)
190: My 1st job was: Iowa City Press Citizen paper delivery girl
189: Last book you read: The third book in the Twilight series
188: My bed is: a very comfy four poster wrought iron full sized bed
187: My pet: is a 11 pound Bishon Frise named Cloud
186: My best friend: is my mom, Adam, Josh and Jenny.
185: My favorite shampoo is: Garner Fructise
184: AIM name: don't have one
183: Piggy Banks are: cute
182: In my pockets: lip gloss, cell phone and pen
181: On my calendar: TONS of stuff this month! From garage sale to Snow Demon show, to Lammasfest
180: Marriage is: an ideal that I don't know is achievable to keep going in the long run anymore
179: Sponge Bob can: die lol
178: My mom: is awesome.
177: The last three cd's I bought were: ummm... I can't say. They were a gift for someone that I haven't given to them yet.
176: Last YouTube video watched: "Something in Your Mouth" by Nickelback
175: How many cousins do you have? I don't know.
174: Do you have any siblings: Yes.
173: Are your parents divorced: Never got married. And not together.
172: Are you taller than your mom? a bit
171: Do you play an instrument? I'm trying the guitar. I would really love to get a flute again.
170: What did you do yesterday? worked. And texted David (Jingles) until I fell asleep lol
I believe in:
169: Love at first sight: Yes.
168: Luck: Yes.
167: Fate: Yes.
166: Yourself: sometimes.
165: Aliens: Anything is possible until disproven
164: Heaven: ummm...
163: Hell: Sometimes I think I work there lol
162: God: To each their own
161: Horoscopes: They are fun to read if I am really, really bored...
160: Soul mates: I don't know. Everything is possible, but have I seen ongoing evidence in my life?
159: Ghosts: Yes.
158: Gay Marriage: Yes.
157: War: not really.
156: Orbs: Most of the time it's just dust.
155: Magic: Yes.
Which is Better
154: Hugs or Kisses: Both. Depends on my mood.
153: Drunk or High: Neither
152: Phone or Online: texting.
151: Red heads or Black haired: depends on who..
150: Blondes or Brunettes: Depends on my hair color lol
149: Hot or cold: hot-bikini weather please!
148: Summer or winter: Summer
147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn
146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
145: Night or Day: night if I am home by myself, Day if I have time to go to the beach
144: Oranges or Apples: Neither
143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly.
142: McDonald's or Burger King: Whopper, please!
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate? neither. Milk upsets my stomach
140: PC or MAC? Mac
139: Flip flops or high heals: high heels. (the higher, the better!)
138: Ugly and rich OR Sexy and poor: sexy and poor
137: Coke or Pepsi: Tea
136: Hillary or Obama: Obama
135: buried or cremated: ...
134: Singing or Dancing: Singing
133: Coach or Chanel: Neither
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Neither, Carrie Underwood.
131: Small town or Big city: Small town
130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam Sandler all the way!
128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure
127: East Coast or West Coast?: umm... is this really a question?
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas. I love giving people gifts, and hate getting them.
125: Chocolate or Flowers: potted plants
124: Disney or Six Flags: Haven't been to either
123: Yankees or Red Sox: Not a baseball fan
122: War: Should've been over with long ago.
121: George Bush: Very good thing he isn't in power anymore.
120: Gay Marriage: Good.
118: Abortion: Only in the most dire situations.
117: MySpace: I have one. I don't hardly do much with it.
116: Reality TV: Overkill!
115: Parents: Mom is awesome, Dad is a deadbeat.
114: Back stabbers: Too many of them at work, I just deal with it.
113: Ebay: Haven't been on it.
112: Sex: is the question.. and you know the answer.
111: Work: Not too bad, if not for the customers, and the bosses, lol
110: My Neighbors: I don't talk to any but one, Clint and Emily with the cutest little kids!
109: Gas Prices: I don't remember the last time I could fill my tank at one time.
108: Designer Clothes: I'd be happy to just be able to get some new clothes from Stuff. I can't picture buying full price at Target or Walmart anymore.
107: College: Not attainable at the moment
106: Sports: Cheerleading was my favorite. I like Volleyball. I wish that was a one person sport. And tennis, I love tennis.
105: My family: is very important to me.
104: The future: is very uncertain.
Last time I
103: Hugged someone: today.
102: Last time you ate: about an hour ago, mac and cheese with hot dogs.
101: Saw someone I haven't seen in awhile: A couple of weeks ago, when I went over to Mike's.
100: Cried in front of someone: I try not to do that, ever.
99: Went to a movie theater: Quarantine
98: Took a vacation: hah! Four years ago, when I went to Nebraska.
97: Swam in a pool: When I was still dating Jeff, and went with Kirk and Marsha to one of their friend's houses with an indoor pool.
96: Changed a diaper: A long time ago.
95: Got my nails done:Professionally- A year or so.
94: Went to a wedding: Two years? It was Kirk and Marsha's
93: Broke a bone: Not jinxing myself lol
92: Got a piercing: When the girls at work needed practice a couple of months ago...
91: Broke the law: Speeding is my weakness *knock on wood*
90: Texted: Adam
MISC
89: Who makes you laugh the most: David
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: I'm leaving?
87: The last movie I saw: Grease 2
86: The thing I'm looking forward to the most is: Lammasfest
85: The thing I'm not looking forward to: Work.
84: People call me:by my name.
83: The most difficult thing to do is: get to work on time.
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Once
81: My zodiac sign is: leo
80: The first person i talked to today was: my mom
79: First time you had a crush: Danny Slaymaker or Billy Duree. It was a long time ago.
78: The one person who i can't hide things from: Mike or Josh
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: David
76: Right now I am talking to: Adam
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Who said I am going to grow up?
74: I have/will get a job: as Jewelry Sales Coordinator
73: Tomorrow: I have to work...
72: Today: is almost done..
71: Next Summer: is here.
70: Next Weekend: work and the beach if it is nice.
69: I have these pets: Didn't I already answer this? Cloud, a 11 pound bishon with a room size personality.
68: The worst sound in the world: nails on a chalkboard... and excessive chatter
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: no one
66: People that make you happy: My family, Adam and my friends
65: Last time I cried: I don't keep track.
64: My friends are: very cool people
63: My computer is: actually my mom's. Both of my computers are dead..
62: My School: was a hick school.
61: My Car: 2000 ford focus
60: I lose all respect for people who: are pushy and two-faced.
59: The movie I cried at was: I always cry in the last scenes of The Wedding Singer.. but they are happy tears. I want that for myself someday!
58: Your hair color is: auburn
57: TV shows you watch: Ghost Hunters, Ghost Hunters International, and Friends. Also, I Love Lucy and Golden Girls
56: Favorite web site: Facebook, Twitter and Myspace.
55: Your dream vacation: The coast.
54: The worst pain i ever felt: When my back was so bad, that I couldn't walk upright and worked for months that way.
53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium Well
52: My room is: very nice. Clean, orderly and comfy
51: My favorite celebrity is: is...was... Michael Jackson, Reba, and Jennifer Aniston
50: Where would you like to be: Beach!!! In the water!
49: Do you want children: Yes. Before I am too old to enjoy them.
48: Dream pet: The one I have.
47: Who's your best friend: I have a few: Adam, Mike and Josh. (Didn't we already have this question?)
46: More guy friends or girl friends: guys
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: getting the rare chance to talk to Josh
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Adam
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Not yet.
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: No
41: Have you pre-named your children: I have a few names.. but haven't really thought of it yet.
40: Last person I got mad at: Adam
39: I would like to move to: my house, but I would love to move the interstate!
38: I wish I was a professional: singer.
My Favorites
37: Candy: Milky Ways
36: Vehicle: Ford Probe
35: President: JFK or Obama
34: State visited: I haven't been to many.... but I loved Chicago
33: Cell Phone Provider: I don't have a favorite, really
32: Athlete: Mike counts, he's an ultimate fighter.
31: Actor: I have to say Brad Pitt, before he got with Jolie. Or any guy that is trim and buff.. too many guys are letting themselves go, even if they are actors.
30: Actress: Jennifer Aniston
29: Singer: A lot!
28: Band: Some are: Nickelback, Nirvana, Divide the Day, Kid Rock
27: Clothing Store: Stuff, Etc.
26: Grocery Store: Aldis
25: TV show: Ghosthunters!
24: Movie: Wedding Singer!
23: Website: Facebook
22: Animal: Cats and Dogs
21: Theme Park: NA
20: Holiday: Halloween-I love scaring the neighborhood kids lol (and Christmas, because I love buying my friends and family gifts!)
19: Sport to watch: Football!
18: Sport to play: Volleyball, football and tennis
17: Magazine: Cosmo
16: Book: Mistress of Darkness, or the Twilight Series
15: Day of the week: Sunday and Monday
14: Beach: The reservoir
13: Concert Attended: Valiant Thorr
12: Thing to cook: Mac and Cheese with hotdogs
11: Food: steak tips with mushrooms, rice
10: Restaurant: Lonestar or Outback Steakhouse
9: Radio Station: KHAK, Rock 108
8: Yankee Candle Scent: Never been there.
7: Perfume: Britney Spear's Curious or Fantasy.
6: Flower: lilies!! Potted ones, please!
5: Color: Red
4: Talk Show host: Jon Stewart
3: Comedian: Adam Sandler, Dane Cook, Jeff Dunham
2: Dog Breed: bishon or yorkie
1: Are you ready for this survey to be over? Oh dear lord, yes!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Am I crazy? Or Sane? You decide..
I'm a crazy woman.
Although, I don't know if that is a good or bad thing..
I do know that this once a week thing, it's getting to me. And that's most definitely NOT a good thing! (The once a week of seeing Adam, not that it gets to me.)
I had two invites to go over to people's places and hang out tonight. And I am sitting here. I'm either really crazy or really sane. Because they were both guys, and I've dated both of them before. Does this make me a good, nice girlfriend? Or an overly conscientious one? Hmmm... (not that anything would've happened, but just the idea, you know..)
I asked Adam a few times today if he was going to be able to come over tonight, after I got off work. And he said no. That this weekend would be the earliest that would work for him to have some time for us together. I got off at seven. I hung out in electronics, giving David a hard time and then came home. (It's an Iowa thing, to hang out in Wal-Mart, I assume.) I changed into comfy, (but nice looking, you know what I mean,) pants and a tanktop.
I settled myself in front of my computer, rockin' to Rock 108, and THEN he calls. It is now 9:00 p.m.
"I'll give you five bucks in gas if you come over tonight." He couldn't have made that call two hours earlier?? He knows I have to work in the morning, and I like my beauty sleep! (Lord knows, I need it!) So, as much as I wanted too go over there, I didn't.
And then, when I decline his lovely invitation, he says something to the effect that, "Oh, well.. I probably would've been complaining about how sore I am the whole time and not been good company." (He laid a bunch of brick retaining walls at his mother's house the past couple of days.. good, hard, physical labor.) But not in the self-pity sort of way, in the guilt laying sort of way...
Grrr....
And now it will be Sunday before I see him again, as far as I know. I am so used to seeing the guy that I date almost daily, not weekly.
Is this normal? What do you guys think?
Although, I don't know if that is a good or bad thing..
I do know that this once a week thing, it's getting to me. And that's most definitely NOT a good thing! (The once a week of seeing Adam, not that it gets to me.)
I had two invites to go over to people's places and hang out tonight. And I am sitting here. I'm either really crazy or really sane. Because they were both guys, and I've dated both of them before. Does this make me a good, nice girlfriend? Or an overly conscientious one? Hmmm... (not that anything would've happened, but just the idea, you know..)
I asked Adam a few times today if he was going to be able to come over tonight, after I got off work. And he said no. That this weekend would be the earliest that would work for him to have some time for us together. I got off at seven. I hung out in electronics, giving David a hard time and then came home. (It's an Iowa thing, to hang out in Wal-Mart, I assume.) I changed into comfy, (but nice looking, you know what I mean,) pants and a tanktop.
I settled myself in front of my computer, rockin' to Rock 108, and THEN he calls. It is now 9:00 p.m.
"I'll give you five bucks in gas if you come over tonight." He couldn't have made that call two hours earlier?? He knows I have to work in the morning, and I like my beauty sleep! (Lord knows, I need it!) So, as much as I wanted too go over there, I didn't.
And then, when I decline his lovely invitation, he says something to the effect that, "Oh, well.. I probably would've been complaining about how sore I am the whole time and not been good company." (He laid a bunch of brick retaining walls at his mother's house the past couple of days.. good, hard, physical labor.) But not in the self-pity sort of way, in the guilt laying sort of way...
Grrr....
And now it will be Sunday before I see him again, as far as I know. I am so used to seeing the guy that I date almost daily, not weekly.
Is this normal? What do you guys think?
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Ramblings..
Okay, so i didn't' specify after what day after work I would write about my good Thursday night. Technically, i am still keeping my promise to you, dear reader!
And since it is still the last time I've seen Adam, its still as recent and fresh as it could be!
Anywho.
I was sitting in the den watching the Michael Jackson marathon that B.E.T. was playing in remembrance. I happened to look out at the right moment, and even though it was dark, I instantly recognized the Del Sol. He had come to surprise me! It was a wonderful, unexpected high in my day, that;s for sure. My favorite part of that time together was when we were just talking, and I was resting my head on his stomach as he was reclining. he played with my hair,(an action that is enough to always make me melt and feel instantly at peace. I was very content in that way!
I am very glad today was my Friday. People tend to get on my nerves more and more often, as I near my weekend. But I had a rather nice evening by myself!
I came home from work and played with the puppy for a bit and then took a shower. Since Adam had to cancel our plans earlier today, I got to get a few things done, went shopping, and did my first Yoga session. You wouldn't think that it works, but I could feel it, that's for sure! I like it!
And since it is still the last time I've seen Adam, its still as recent and fresh as it could be!
Anywho.
I was sitting in the den watching the Michael Jackson marathon that B.E.T. was playing in remembrance. I happened to look out at the right moment, and even though it was dark, I instantly recognized the Del Sol. He had come to surprise me! It was a wonderful, unexpected high in my day, that;s for sure. My favorite part of that time together was when we were just talking, and I was resting my head on his stomach as he was reclining. he played with my hair,(an action that is enough to always make me melt and feel instantly at peace. I was very content in that way!
I am very glad today was my Friday. People tend to get on my nerves more and more often, as I near my weekend. But I had a rather nice evening by myself!
I came home from work and played with the puppy for a bit and then took a shower. Since Adam had to cancel our plans earlier today, I got to get a few things done, went shopping, and did my first Yoga session. You wouldn't think that it works, but I could feel it, that's for sure! I like it!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Taylor Swift - Teardrops On My Guitar Lyrics
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without
Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night
[Chorus:]
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
[ Taylor Swift Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause
[Repeat Chorus]
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
Another day I wouldn't care to repeat..
My day wasn't all that great yesterday, but my mood ended on a much higher note than I anticipated when I finally fell asleep.
As soon as I got to work, I immediately wanted to come back home or disappear into nature for the entire day. My people skills went on hiatus, I was irritable, and it just kept getting worse not matter how hard I tried. Usually I sneak in a minute here and there of deep breathing and mediation on hard days, but yesterday it didn't even cross my mind to do so.
And then, the totally unexpected news- Michael Jackson died yesterday at the age of 50 due to heart problems. The media, for once isn't getting many details but they said he had cardiac arrest at his home and by the time he was at the hospital he was unresponsive.
To me, this is the equivalent to when Elvis died to the previous generation. Some of my first musical memories include M.J. I didn't believe Adam when he texted me the news`I thought he was screwing with me!
That brings me back to yesterday. Jane had gone home before I even got there, due to childcare issues. Then Samantha went home sick. (No comment on that, besides she only had to work a four and a half hour shift, she could've made it if she really wanted to.)
It was 6:40, twenty minutes left of my shift when CSM Britney cam over and told me they wanted me up front. I was trying to do all the closing things, since there would be no one int eh department for the rest of the day, so I told her I couldn't.
A few minutes later, Assistant Angie calls up tot he counter and lays in on me that I need to go up there and I need to make sure that I am helping take care of our customer over and over, I held the phone away from my ear and could still hear here! She wouldn't let me get in a word after I answered the phone, so ashamedly, (or not so much,) I hung up on her. I did go up front, but didn't' finish cleaning up the department besides taking the trash back.
I HAVE to hop in the shower, but I'll write about my wonderful night next time!
As soon as I got to work, I immediately wanted to come back home or disappear into nature for the entire day. My people skills went on hiatus, I was irritable, and it just kept getting worse not matter how hard I tried. Usually I sneak in a minute here and there of deep breathing and mediation on hard days, but yesterday it didn't even cross my mind to do so.
And then, the totally unexpected news- Michael Jackson died yesterday at the age of 50 due to heart problems. The media, for once isn't getting many details but they said he had cardiac arrest at his home and by the time he was at the hospital he was unresponsive.
To me, this is the equivalent to when Elvis died to the previous generation. Some of my first musical memories include M.J. I didn't believe Adam when he texted me the news`I thought he was screwing with me!
That brings me back to yesterday. Jane had gone home before I even got there, due to childcare issues. Then Samantha went home sick. (No comment on that, besides she only had to work a four and a half hour shift, she could've made it if she really wanted to.)
It was 6:40, twenty minutes left of my shift when CSM Britney cam over and told me they wanted me up front. I was trying to do all the closing things, since there would be no one int eh department for the rest of the day, so I told her I couldn't.
A few minutes later, Assistant Angie calls up tot he counter and lays in on me that I need to go up there and I need to make sure that I am helping take care of our customer over and over, I held the phone away from my ear and could still hear here! She wouldn't let me get in a word after I answered the phone, so ashamedly, (or not so much,) I hung up on her. I did go up front, but didn't' finish cleaning up the department besides taking the trash back.
I HAVE to hop in the shower, but I'll write about my wonderful night next time!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Another day done..
The end of another day in the life. Not too shabby of a day overall. Some decent parts, and some not so good parts, like any other day.
I didn't really feel like being around many people today, but half of the customers were all right. Kathy irked me like usual-but what else is new? She ignored a few customers and I had to take care of them even thought I was deep cleaning a case. (I wouldn't have minded, except I was in the middle of my project and she hadn't made it past the counter with the bit of freight she was going to put away. But enough ink and paper waster on her for this entry!)
I did have a highlight when Jen and her mom came in with Austin! Seven weeks old, and already I can see his beginning developments. Such a little angel! Of course, I had to hold him and so I held him for about five minutes while i was still in the department, and went and clocked out for lunch. Then I kidnapped him from Jen's mom, and Jen and I walked around with him for about a half hour. His favorite way for me to held him so his tiny head nestled against my right sho9uld and his hand holding as tight as he can onto it. Poor little thing had the hiccups, abut it was adorable! I';m hoping they maybe they can come down this weekend or next with him to my house again.
A rather disappointing thing though is that Adam and I had made plans for a romantic candlelit dinner tonight here. Unfortunately he couldn't make it. So, I settled myself with my usual mac and cheese with hot dogs and a strawberry ice cream cone for desert. Oh well, its' okay I understand why he had to cancel. He doesn't really have any choice.
I saw one of my old sociology classmates today as well. Shes looking great! and definitely has that distinct glow. Shes going to have a baby girl in a few months, I guess.
I spent about an hour tonight getting I-CAPS affairs under control, setting up a meeting with SMPS (Shoki Midwestern Paranormal Society) and running over the most major details with Tymon on the phone. I needed to type up the member applications and mail to Dak at SMPS,, but unfortunately my Microsoft Word program is a long past expired trial version> Tymon's going to pick the applications up tomorrow and get them typed and emailed.
Last Sunday, (that I spent with Adam,) was the greatest time I've had in a long while! I am STILL thinking about how I like it so! Went to the Coralville Dam, (where I finally got fully submerged in the water for the first time this year!) And then we went to say hi to Snow Demon, but wasn't at all like he thought it would be, I think. We made a Tombstone pizza and watched, 'Wedding Crashers'. Lots of close contact, talking and cuddling as well...
(There's a brief recap since I fell asleep during the time i tried writing that entry!)
Speaking of sleep~ I can feel it trying to steal over me and steal away my consciousness, so I better turn off the light, snuggle with my puppy and let it!
Good night (or day, whichever applies when you read this!)
I didn't really feel like being around many people today, but half of the customers were all right. Kathy irked me like usual-but what else is new? She ignored a few customers and I had to take care of them even thought I was deep cleaning a case. (I wouldn't have minded, except I was in the middle of my project and she hadn't made it past the counter with the bit of freight she was going to put away. But enough ink and paper waster on her for this entry!)
I did have a highlight when Jen and her mom came in with Austin! Seven weeks old, and already I can see his beginning developments. Such a little angel! Of course, I had to hold him and so I held him for about five minutes while i was still in the department, and went and clocked out for lunch. Then I kidnapped him from Jen's mom, and Jen and I walked around with him for about a half hour. His favorite way for me to held him so his tiny head nestled against my right sho9uld and his hand holding as tight as he can onto it. Poor little thing had the hiccups, abut it was adorable! I';m hoping they maybe they can come down this weekend or next with him to my house again.
A rather disappointing thing though is that Adam and I had made plans for a romantic candlelit dinner tonight here. Unfortunately he couldn't make it. So, I settled myself with my usual mac and cheese with hot dogs and a strawberry ice cream cone for desert. Oh well, its' okay I understand why he had to cancel. He doesn't really have any choice.
I saw one of my old sociology classmates today as well. Shes looking great! and definitely has that distinct glow. Shes going to have a baby girl in a few months, I guess.
I spent about an hour tonight getting I-CAPS affairs under control, setting up a meeting with SMPS (Shoki Midwestern Paranormal Society) and running over the most major details with Tymon on the phone. I needed to type up the member applications and mail to Dak at SMPS,, but unfortunately my Microsoft Word program is a long past expired trial version> Tymon's going to pick the applications up tomorrow and get them typed and emailed.
Last Sunday, (that I spent with Adam,) was the greatest time I've had in a long while! I am STILL thinking about how I like it so! Went to the Coralville Dam, (where I finally got fully submerged in the water for the first time this year!) And then we went to say hi to Snow Demon, but wasn't at all like he thought it would be, I think. We made a Tombstone pizza and watched, 'Wedding Crashers'. Lots of close contact, talking and cuddling as well...
(There's a brief recap since I fell asleep during the time i tried writing that entry!)
Speaking of sleep~ I can feel it trying to steal over me and steal away my consciousness, so I better turn off the light, snuggle with my puppy and let it!
Good night (or day, whichever applies when you read this!)
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Madly, crazy in love!!
I wonder why the terms crazy and mad are used in conjunction to being in love with someone? (Oh wait... I have this magical, endless box of knowledge and key of google to open it...)
Well, that was disappointing.. all I got were song lyrics and articles about why women fall for crazy guys...
Anyway, I am madly in love with a great guy! Head over heels, crazy for him.. pick any description like that!
That's all. I just had to say it out load. And since I don't have the guts to climb onto my roof and shout it (fear of heights and all!), this is the next best thing!
Well, that was disappointing.. all I got were song lyrics and articles about why women fall for crazy guys...
Anyway, I am madly in love with a great guy! Head over heels, crazy for him.. pick any description like that!
That's all. I just had to say it out load. And since I don't have the guts to climb onto my roof and shout it (fear of heights and all!), this is the next best thing!
A retraction, and apology if you will...
The more I learn about my father, the more I DON'T want him to be a part of my life, and am happy I don't have to claim him by last name. (Or in any other way.)
My blogging about him has stirred up quite the response from people that I have mentioned. And apparently, I can add 'compulsive liar' to the traits that he has, that I do not want my future significant other to have. This is where the apology comes in. I stated in my entry, 'It's all relative', that I was used to mood swings due to a former step-sister having bi-polar. I was told this by my father shortly after I met my former step-family, and had no reason not to accept it as being fact, seeming that it was my father who told me and I didn't realize that he would tell un-truths about his family.The truth is, that neither the one that messaged me or her sister have been ever been diagnosed with bi-polar. Seems that from day one he was lying to me, and why I couldn't begin to guess. I'm sorry to you all. And I wonder if anything he ever told me was true or not.
In response to only meeting the handful of times, I also wanted to let you guys know that I did try to get in further contact with you, by asking him for your email address or phone numbers for many years, before your mother and him divorced. He kept saying he'd get them to me, but never happened. This was in addition of wanting to come up for the weekend, and he would brush those off as well..
Strange.. with the writing lately, I feel lighter, like a weight I didn't realize was so heavy has been lifted.. I think I've totally accepted what I can't change from my past, and can only use that information to make sure my future doesn't repeat itself...
My blogging about him has stirred up quite the response from people that I have mentioned. And apparently, I can add 'compulsive liar' to the traits that he has, that I do not want my future significant other to have. This is where the apology comes in. I stated in my entry, 'It's all relative', that I was used to mood swings due to a former step-sister having bi-polar. I was told this by my father shortly after I met my former step-family, and had no reason not to accept it as being fact, seeming that it was my father who told me and I didn't realize that he would tell un-truths about his family.The truth is, that neither the one that messaged me or her sister have been ever been diagnosed with bi-polar. Seems that from day one he was lying to me, and why I couldn't begin to guess. I'm sorry to you all. And I wonder if anything he ever told me was true or not.
In response to only meeting the handful of times, I also wanted to let you guys know that I did try to get in further contact with you, by asking him for your email address or phone numbers for many years, before your mother and him divorced. He kept saying he'd get them to me, but never happened. This was in addition of wanting to come up for the weekend, and he would brush those off as well..
Strange.. with the writing lately, I feel lighter, like a weight I didn't realize was so heavy has been lifted.. I think I've totally accepted what I can't change from my past, and can only use that information to make sure my future doesn't repeat itself...
Monday, June 22, 2009
TV time!
Off to watch last week's GhostHunters episodes! Woot! I didn't even get to catch the commercials for these, so I don't know what played!!
Such a good day, I fell asleep writing about it!
What a very, very good day? What made it so good? I spent the great majority of it with Adam. It's become our routine to set aside Sundays to spend the whole day with one another. (Typically mid-afternoon to late into the night.) We haven't sat down 'officially' and decided on anything like that-it just happens. And it is a very good plan!
Today I went over there somewhere between two and three, and came in to him vacuuming the basement with a little hose vacuum. Interesting! After he realized that I was on the stair watching, he stopped cleaning and we hung out for a little while. Then he fed me some good ravioli. (Well, not personally fed me, but you know what i mean!!)....
Today I went over there somewhere between two and three, and came in to him vacuuming the basement with a little hose vacuum. Interesting! After he realized that I was on the stair watching, he stopped cleaning and we hung out for a little while. Then he fed me some good ravioli. (Well, not personally fed me, but you know what i mean!!)....
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Watching Grease-and this song is one that I ALWAYS have to sing with!!
The One I Want Lyrics
I got chills, they're multiplyin', and I'm losin' control
Cause the power you're supplyin', it's electrifyin'
You better shape up, cause I need a man,
and my heart is set on you
You better shape up, you better understand,
to my heart I must be true
Nothing left, nothing left for me to do
Chorus:
You're the one that I want
(you are the one I want), ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one I need (the one I need),
oh yes indeed (yes indeed)
If you're filled with affection,
You're too shy to convey
Meditate my direction, feel your way
I better shape up,
cause you need a man
I need a man,
Who can keep me satisfied
I better shape up, if I'm gonna prove
You better prove, that my fate is justified
Are you sure?
Yes I'm sure down deep inside
I got chills, they're multiplyin', and I'm losin' control
Cause the power you're supplyin', it's electrifyin'
You better shape up, cause I need a man,
and my heart is set on you
You better shape up, you better understand,
to my heart I must be true
Nothing left, nothing left for me to do
Chorus:
You're the one that I want
(you are the one I want), ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one I need (the one I need),
oh yes indeed (yes indeed)
If you're filled with affection,
You're too shy to convey
Meditate my direction, feel your way
I better shape up,
cause you need a man
I need a man,
Who can keep me satisfied
I better shape up, if I'm gonna prove
You better prove, that my fate is justified
Are you sure?
Yes I'm sure down deep inside
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Rantings instead of musings tonight...
10:49 p.m.
What a day!! (And not in a good way for most of it, really.) It started out well enough, I blogged/journaled a page, took a shower, talked to Mike a bit via text, and got to work just about ten minutes past ten. That's when my day tried its hardest to shoot itself all to hell~but I managed not to let it get to m,e. It was close at the end, but I survived in one piece and in a pretty decent mood.
I swear, it felt as though the store was under an artificial full moon all day and that people were going to transform into werewolves and vampires, attack each other and be done with it!
I wasn't even in the department for five minutes before Kathy said something to the effect of "Where have you been? You're supposed to start at ten, not ten-fifteen! I've been waiting to go on break forever, I get here at 7 and haven't had a break yet... yadayadaya..."
Well, for some reason reason I'm likable at work, (I know, right?) and I'm constantly stopped by people saying Hi and wanting to chat. SO I told her this.
"It doesn't matter, tell them you are supposed to be working! You don't have time for chatting with them!!" Um... excuse me? This coming from the woman who takes 20-25 minute 15's, dawdles at the computer, stands around complaining theres nothing to do, and leaves early! (Just to name a FEW things that her hypocritical statements brought to mind!)
If it was just Kathy PMS'ing today, I could've handled it, no sweat. But I think 99% of those at work were ragging today. CSM's, Management, fellow associates all included. It felt like Samantha and I were fighting for our collective sanity, while being attakced form all sides by mean tempered, ragging zombies! (how about that for a pretty picture, dear reader? Imagine us armed with just our ear piercing guns and think you'd you'd be all set!)
I think the only people really decent today was my mom, Samantha, Dawn and Brian. Brian's pretty cool. he kept offering me shoulder massages today, but I couldn't accept since we were at work and all. Darn./
Haven't heard from Adam all day today. Might still be affected by the texts yesterday. I miss talking to him, but I've already sent him few messages last night. I didn't do anything to apologize for, so hopefully he comes around soon. But who knows? He's stubborn. One way or another I 'll be going to the beach this weekend-if it's at all nice!
Might write more later. I want to write (or start writing,) a list of things that I'll need form me camping trip to Lammasfest.
'Til next time
Seana
11:12 p.m.
What a day!! (And not in a good way for most of it, really.) It started out well enough, I blogged/journaled a page, took a shower, talked to Mike a bit via text, and got to work just about ten minutes past ten. That's when my day tried its hardest to shoot itself all to hell~but I managed not to let it get to m,e. It was close at the end, but I survived in one piece and in a pretty decent mood.
I swear, it felt as though the store was under an artificial full moon all day and that people were going to transform into werewolves and vampires, attack each other and be done with it!
I wasn't even in the department for five minutes before Kathy said something to the effect of "Where have you been? You're supposed to start at ten, not ten-fifteen! I've been waiting to go on break forever, I get here at 7 and haven't had a break yet... yadayadaya..."
Well, for some reason reason I'm likable at work, (I know, right?) and I'm constantly stopped by people saying Hi and wanting to chat. SO I told her this.
"It doesn't matter, tell them you are supposed to be working! You don't have time for chatting with them!!" Um... excuse me? This coming from the woman who takes 20-25 minute 15's, dawdles at the computer, stands around complaining theres nothing to do, and leaves early! (Just to name a FEW things that her hypocritical statements brought to mind!)
If it was just Kathy PMS'ing today, I could've handled it, no sweat. But I think 99% of those at work were ragging today. CSM's, Management, fellow associates all included. It felt like Samantha and I were fighting for our collective sanity, while being attakced form all sides by mean tempered, ragging zombies! (how about that for a pretty picture, dear reader? Imagine us armed with just our ear piercing guns and think you'd you'd be all set!)
I think the only people really decent today was my mom, Samantha, Dawn and Brian. Brian's pretty cool. he kept offering me shoulder massages today, but I couldn't accept since we were at work and all. Darn./
Haven't heard from Adam all day today. Might still be affected by the texts yesterday. I miss talking to him, but I've already sent him few messages last night. I didn't do anything to apologize for, so hopefully he comes around soon. But who knows? He's stubborn. One way or another I 'll be going to the beach this weekend-if it's at all nice!
Might write more later. I want to write (or start writing,) a list of things that I'll need form me camping trip to Lammasfest.
'Til next time
Seana
11:12 p.m.
It's all relative..
9:00n a.m.
I am running late. (What else is new? Time is relative to some people. I'll be sure to share the theories I've found at a later date!)
Even though I am running behind, I just had to exclaim- I LOVE the feeling of bare grass underfoot!! And we had a massive thunderstorm las night, so it was wet as well. Woot!
Haven't heard from Adam since yesterday afternoon, even though I've sent him a few texts. Last thing I got from him was to the effect that he, "wasn't goin' to say nothin'."Not the easiest thing not to reply that that sentence really says he'll say a lot! It was in response to the fact that I teased him for telling me to 'chill'. Oh well, I'm used to mood swings of people, god knows my family is plagued with them on my mom's side and my step sister on my father's side is bi-polar. It was really extreme when she was in her teens/early twenties.
I have to go take a quick shower now and be off to work.
Ciao!
Seana
9:08 a.m.
I am running late. (What else is new? Time is relative to some people. I'll be sure to share the theories I've found at a later date!)
Even though I am running behind, I just had to exclaim- I LOVE the feeling of bare grass underfoot!! And we had a massive thunderstorm las night, so it was wet as well. Woot!
Haven't heard from Adam since yesterday afternoon, even though I've sent him a few texts. Last thing I got from him was to the effect that he, "wasn't goin' to say nothin'."Not the easiest thing not to reply that that sentence really says he'll say a lot! It was in response to the fact that I teased him for telling me to 'chill'. Oh well, I'm used to mood swings of people, god knows my family is plagued with them on my mom's side and my step sister on my father's side is bi-polar. It was really extreme when she was in her teens/early twenties.
I have to go take a quick shower now and be off to work.
Ciao!
Seana
9:08 a.m.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Forever and a day...
11:11 p.m.
At least it feels like it's been that long since I've written any of actual thoughts and observations in any sort of detail. (And, I just notice something in my handwritten version of my journal- my handwriting is eerily like one of my closest friend's-Jennifer's!)
11:44 p.m.
Yes, a full half hour to accomplish just those few sentences. Interruptions are common in my house, at least interruptions from others to what I am doing. I also was watching "Office Space"; I picked up that classic at W-M for only about $3.75! (ten percent discount, and it was on special for the low, low princes of only $4! And if you call now...) Wait, sorry, I got caught up in the whole infomercial similarity of my writing!
Anywho.
I can go days or weeks, just going along with the flow-not thinking about anything in particular/ Just working, hanging out and sleeping. Then all of a sudden my brain won't stop. Surely, there's gotta be some happy medium. A mental version of working if you will- do a few days (reps) of internal hashing and then few day's resting break.
*happy dance* I remembered to register for Lammasfest 2009 this year! And I even made it in time for the early registration! It'll be so nice to get awawy for a weekend, away from work, people that I deal with on a regular basis and be able to concentrate on my life journey and my internal struggle with trying to find my way spiritually. I think the hardest thing will be to be without my puppy for a few days and nights! I worry that she wont' be taken care of as I do it. She's my princess, there's no doubt about that and I don't hide it. :)
But then, I got the thought that i don't even know how to build a campfire! hope Kirk and Marsha are camping so that I can set up my spot near them and share in their expertise!I don't know if I'll know anyone else there.
Marsha said that Jeff might be there, which I already thought of, but really that's just another stranger really. We haven't talked since we brike up_not from lack of a bit of trying on my part. I hope that he doesn't decide not to come purely because of finding out that I registered to go. I would feel bad, even though we don't talk. If that is the case, and I find otu, I would consider pulling my registration just because I wouldn't want to ruin the get together for him, Kirk and Marsha.
Onward. I can't control others, as I am constatnly, needlkessly being reminded of daily. I just keep repeating to myself...
ENOUGH WITH THE INTERRUPTIONS THAT I KEEP GETTING WHILE I AM TRYING TO WRITE! I'll try again tomorrow.. (I got interrupted in the last paragraph, and can't remember what I was about to say..)
Hope you all have/had a great night.
12:18a.m.
June 18th, 2009
At least it feels like it's been that long since I've written any of actual thoughts and observations in any sort of detail. (And, I just notice something in my handwritten version of my journal- my handwriting is eerily like one of my closest friend's-Jennifer's!)
11:44 p.m.
Yes, a full half hour to accomplish just those few sentences. Interruptions are common in my house, at least interruptions from others to what I am doing. I also was watching "Office Space"; I picked up that classic at W-M for only about $3.75! (ten percent discount, and it was on special for the low, low princes of only $4! And if you call now...) Wait, sorry, I got caught up in the whole infomercial similarity of my writing!
Anywho.
I can go days or weeks, just going along with the flow-not thinking about anything in particular/ Just working, hanging out and sleeping. Then all of a sudden my brain won't stop. Surely, there's gotta be some happy medium. A mental version of working if you will- do a few days (reps) of internal hashing and then few day's resting break.
*happy dance* I remembered to register for Lammasfest 2009 this year! And I even made it in time for the early registration! It'll be so nice to get awawy for a weekend, away from work, people that I deal with on a regular basis and be able to concentrate on my life journey and my internal struggle with trying to find my way spiritually. I think the hardest thing will be to be without my puppy for a few days and nights! I worry that she wont' be taken care of as I do it. She's my princess, there's no doubt about that and I don't hide it. :)
But then, I got the thought that i don't even know how to build a campfire! hope Kirk and Marsha are camping so that I can set up my spot near them and share in their expertise!I don't know if I'll know anyone else there.
Marsha said that Jeff might be there, which I already thought of, but really that's just another stranger really. We haven't talked since we brike up_not from lack of a bit of trying on my part. I hope that he doesn't decide not to come purely because of finding out that I registered to go. I would feel bad, even though we don't talk. If that is the case, and I find otu, I would consider pulling my registration just because I wouldn't want to ruin the get together for him, Kirk and Marsha.
Onward. I can't control others, as I am constatnly, needlkessly being reminded of daily. I just keep repeating to myself...
ENOUGH WITH THE INTERRUPTIONS THAT I KEEP GETTING WHILE I AM TRYING TO WRITE! I'll try again tomorrow.. (I got interrupted in the last paragraph, and can't remember what I was about to say..)
Hope you all have/had a great night.
12:18a.m.
June 18th, 2009
I apologize to everyone who reads (or did!) my blog..
Man, I have really been sucking on the blogging this year! Jeezus--ONLY sixteen posts in this whole year????
I do have plenty to say, that's for sure! So, I am making a mid-year resolution! I am going to try to blog a LOT more, but with limited, uninterrupted access to my computer.. I am going to try for 2-3 times a week. But, don't fret--I printed off a bunch of pretty paper to write in way more often than that. And I will try to spend the couple of times a week that I get uninterrupted transferring the entries from paper to blog...
I have a lot to do tonight, but hopefully you will have a lot more to read from me in the future dear readers!
'Til we meet again!
Seana
Your slacking blog host
I do have plenty to say, that's for sure! So, I am making a mid-year resolution! I am going to try to blog a LOT more, but with limited, uninterrupted access to my computer.. I am going to try for 2-3 times a week. But, don't fret--I printed off a bunch of pretty paper to write in way more often than that. And I will try to spend the couple of times a week that I get uninterrupted transferring the entries from paper to blog...
I have a lot to do tonight, but hopefully you will have a lot more to read from me in the future dear readers!
'Til we meet again!
Seana
Your slacking blog host
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Quick spontaneous research question..
Guys, what makes women sexy, attractive and attention grabbing to you?
Ladies, what is it about the male gender that you find irresistible?
Ladies, what is it about the male gender that you find irresistible?
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Pretty Happy, today... *knock on wood*
I have a movie date night with Adam on Thursday! *happy dance*
And, I'm going to have popcorn, and a few boxes of candy. It's going to be a cheesy, wonderful cuddle-filled evening! Woot!
I'm pretty happy today. I worked, and got a third set of piercings in my ears today. Samantha had to do some more training, so I thought I would go ahead and give it a shot. That's all the holes going into my head (or any other part of my body!) that I am doing!
I cleaned my house on Sunday and yesterday, and it looks so good! A clean house makes me very happy, although getting the motivation to actually get it that way escapes me often! I also rearranged my bathroom, bedroom and laundry room. Got rid of more stuff that I never need or even look at. The more junk that I clear out, the happier and more relaxed I am. It's a great feeling! I can actually see the progress I am making now.
Very exciting!
Now, I am very hungry, so I am going to go scrounge up some food and take a nice, relaxing shower and curl up in bed with my puppy and sleep. :)
Have a great night (or day, if that's when you are reading this), my dear readers!
And, I'm going to have popcorn, and a few boxes of candy. It's going to be a cheesy, wonderful cuddle-filled evening! Woot!
I'm pretty happy today. I worked, and got a third set of piercings in my ears today. Samantha had to do some more training, so I thought I would go ahead and give it a shot. That's all the holes going into my head (or any other part of my body!) that I am doing!
I cleaned my house on Sunday and yesterday, and it looks so good! A clean house makes me very happy, although getting the motivation to actually get it that way escapes me often! I also rearranged my bathroom, bedroom and laundry room. Got rid of more stuff that I never need or even look at. The more junk that I clear out, the happier and more relaxed I am. It's a great feeling! I can actually see the progress I am making now.
Very exciting!
Now, I am very hungry, so I am going to go scrounge up some food and take a nice, relaxing shower and curl up in bed with my puppy and sleep. :)
Have a great night (or day, if that's when you are reading this), my dear readers!
Monday, April 27, 2009
The tree project...
Up to over 300 ancestors now.. and that is just stemming back from my maternal grandmothers.. exciting!
It's become addicting to work on my family tree.. I didn't want to stop last night, but finally my headache overcame my ability to stare at the screen. I'm not used to staring at a computer monitor for 7-8 hours a day!
It's become addicting to work on my family tree.. I didn't want to stop last night, but finally my headache overcame my ability to stare at the screen. I'm not used to staring at a computer monitor for 7-8 hours a day!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Just a quick typing...
A quick note about a few things:
One, I finally decided to attack my family tree and find out more about my roots. I spent most of today just doing the maternal line of my family. Ancestry.com is AWESOME! I usually only can take a little bit of staring at a monitor at a time, but I think I spend at least six hours on the computer today, working on my lineage. I started with just a few papers that I received from my aunt, approximately 25-30 people.. and now I am at 181 of my ancestors figured out. Yeah!
Two, I wish that if people hinted or suggested that they were going to do something that they would follow through. It's rather annoying to be expecting some sort of event to occur, when it was mentioned in promising words.. and then nothing. Not even a few words to say that it wasn't going to happen. GRRR.... And that's all on that topic. I am not usually one to dwell.(EDITOR 'S NOTE: This has been happening to me a lot lately by different people, it is not any one particular person. I just had to vent it out and didn't want to name names.)
Three...Being at home, grounded by my defunct car is pretty okay, I am figuring out. More about what happened with my car, perhaps tomorrow morning.. but it shows me how much people really want to see me when I am not the one driving to them. It gives me more time to focus on myself and activities that I've been procrastinating.
Four.. work is going okay. I am slowly getting the person that is trying to cause problems for me out of the department. (I hope.) At least management can see now that I am not the incompetent one, because now others are complaining about her with things she's done and said to them. All in due time, All in due time..
Five.. Adam and I are still dating. I am not used to only seeing the guy that I am dating only once a week, but I guess it'll work out. He makes me happy, and I hope I do the same for him.. so it's all good.
All for now. I must go wrap up things for the night. My eyes are hurting from so much screen exposure today. Good night, everyone!
One, I finally decided to attack my family tree and find out more about my roots. I spent most of today just doing the maternal line of my family. Ancestry.com is AWESOME! I usually only can take a little bit of staring at a monitor at a time, but I think I spend at least six hours on the computer today, working on my lineage. I started with just a few papers that I received from my aunt, approximately 25-30 people.. and now I am at 181 of my ancestors figured out. Yeah!
Two, I wish that if people hinted or suggested that they were going to do something that they would follow through. It's rather annoying to be expecting some sort of event to occur, when it was mentioned in promising words.. and then nothing. Not even a few words to say that it wasn't going to happen. GRRR.... And that's all on that topic. I am not usually one to dwell.(EDITOR 'S NOTE: This has been happening to me a lot lately by different people, it is not any one particular person. I just had to vent it out and didn't want to name names.)
Three...Being at home, grounded by my defunct car is pretty okay, I am figuring out. More about what happened with my car, perhaps tomorrow morning.. but it shows me how much people really want to see me when I am not the one driving to them. It gives me more time to focus on myself and activities that I've been procrastinating.
Four.. work is going okay. I am slowly getting the person that is trying to cause problems for me out of the department. (I hope.) At least management can see now that I am not the incompetent one, because now others are complaining about her with things she's done and said to them. All in due time, All in due time..
Five.. Adam and I are still dating. I am not used to only seeing the guy that I am dating only once a week, but I guess it'll work out. He makes me happy, and I hope I do the same for him.. so it's all good.
All for now. I must go wrap up things for the night. My eyes are hurting from so much screen exposure today. Good night, everyone!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Weekend Trip to the Raptor Center
Late, but here it is. Adam and I went to the Raptor Center this weekend, and got out in nature for the first time together. It was great! I always prefer to be around trees instead of concrete, and it was great to experience it together. Another thing that we have in common is the fact that we both love being outside. I love climbing around on the rocks, hiking and breathing in more fresh air than you can find here in town. We went around and saw the birds first, and then made our way down to the lake and climbed the rocks around the lake. We found some great fossils, but unfortunately I forgot the few that I was going to bring home. (Oh well, I can find even more the next time I go!)
Then, I started to take pictures. So, we made our way back around the cages and down to the bird watching station. Not only did we see some pretty birds, but saw a momma deer and two babies. Deer are such pretty creatures.
Here are some of the pictures that I took while we were there...
Woot! I wanted to post about it earlier, but when I have a serious blog entry in mind, I cannot think about writing any others until I am done mulling over it.
Then, I started to take pictures. So, we made our way back around the cages and down to the bird watching station. Not only did we see some pretty birds, but saw a momma deer and two babies. Deer are such pretty creatures.
Here are some of the pictures that I took while we were there...
Woot! I wanted to post about it earlier, but when I have a serious blog entry in mind, I cannot think about writing any others until I am done mulling over it.
The past affecting the future
"The only man a girl can depend on is her daddy."
That line from Grease is one that has resonated with me for years, and it has even affected the way that I approach my relationships. I think this is, because in my case, I didn't even have my own dad to depend on growing up. He dropped out of my life right before my 2nd birthday, (August 7th, 1986) and didn't come back into my life until about two days before my 16th.
Fourteen years of absence from my life, and all he could say was, "I always MEANT to call or write, but time just gets away from us." Ten to one, he wouldn't have ever gotten back in contact with me, if it wasn't for the letters that I sent him secretly throughout 6th grade. And, not even then.. had it not been for my former step-mom who happened to find those letters while doing some spring cleaning! I owe it to her for the relationship I have with my father, albeit shaky and off-on as it is. At least I've gotten to meet my two half brothers, and my former step-sisters.
How has that quote and my experiences with an absent father affected my dating relationships? Easy. (Or so it may seem to me, now, that I've been thinking about it a lot (lightly for the last couple of years, heavily for the last half of year or so.)
Since I was about 16-17, I convinced most of myself that I didn't want children. I dated guys that didn't want them as well, and guys that weren't very dependable. I guess I figured that if I couldn't count on my daddy, then there weren't any guys that I could even attempt to count on to be there for me.
My realization of what I really wanted from life started coming unearthed, in my mind, during the last (very rocky) months of my previous relationship with Jeff. I was seeing how deep of a mess he was getting himself in, and I know that sooner or later, (pardon the crudeness,) the shit is going to hit the fan for him. I realized that I needed a man that I could depend on to stay out of trouble to be able to support me and a future family. I needed a man that could stay out of jail/prison and not resort to illegal practices to make money just for kicks. I needed a man that I could trust with all my heart and soul around myself and any possible children. And, perhaps most of all, I needed a man that wasn't an alcoholic like my father. Jeff didn't fit any of that bill.. which is when I just considered it a lost cause.
The truth of it is, I DO want marriage and a couple of children. I just hope with all that I have that I find a guy that will WANT to walk with me throughout all the experiences, trials, joys and tribulations of life together, no matter what happens or what comes our way. And hope that I don't have a 'hit and run' man.. one's just looking for flings and no commitment. (Like my father admitted when he dated my mother and then found out I was on the way.)
I'm scared to death that I wouldn't be a good momma... but if I didn't worry about that, shouldn't that raise more red flags about my abilities and my mindset?
I've been dating Adam for three months now. Through conversation about the topic and seeing him interact with Austin once, I know that he'd be there for me in the future if we happened to have children. And I know that he would be a good daddy. This is the first relationship that I have had that I am feeling really good about and am truly excited to see where it takes us. Perhaps it's because I've decided that I am not hiding my wants, needs and desires anymore. Or maybe it's because I have a really good feeling about us? It's definitely a combination of the two; and a whole lot more!
Maybe the line should be revised to be not that, "The only guy that a girl can depend on is her daddy," but that, "The only thing that a girl can depend on to show her what she needs and desires from her future is her past?"
That line from Grease is one that has resonated with me for years, and it has even affected the way that I approach my relationships. I think this is, because in my case, I didn't even have my own dad to depend on growing up. He dropped out of my life right before my 2nd birthday, (August 7th, 1986) and didn't come back into my life until about two days before my 16th.
Fourteen years of absence from my life, and all he could say was, "I always MEANT to call or write, but time just gets away from us." Ten to one, he wouldn't have ever gotten back in contact with me, if it wasn't for the letters that I sent him secretly throughout 6th grade. And, not even then.. had it not been for my former step-mom who happened to find those letters while doing some spring cleaning! I owe it to her for the relationship I have with my father, albeit shaky and off-on as it is. At least I've gotten to meet my two half brothers, and my former step-sisters.
How has that quote and my experiences with an absent father affected my dating relationships? Easy. (Or so it may seem to me, now, that I've been thinking about it a lot (lightly for the last couple of years, heavily for the last half of year or so.)
Since I was about 16-17, I convinced most of myself that I didn't want children. I dated guys that didn't want them as well, and guys that weren't very dependable. I guess I figured that if I couldn't count on my daddy, then there weren't any guys that I could even attempt to count on to be there for me.
My realization of what I really wanted from life started coming unearthed, in my mind, during the last (very rocky) months of my previous relationship with Jeff. I was seeing how deep of a mess he was getting himself in, and I know that sooner or later, (pardon the crudeness,) the shit is going to hit the fan for him. I realized that I needed a man that I could depend on to stay out of trouble to be able to support me and a future family. I needed a man that could stay out of jail/prison and not resort to illegal practices to make money just for kicks. I needed a man that I could trust with all my heart and soul around myself and any possible children. And, perhaps most of all, I needed a man that wasn't an alcoholic like my father. Jeff didn't fit any of that bill.. which is when I just considered it a lost cause.
The truth of it is, I DO want marriage and a couple of children. I just hope with all that I have that I find a guy that will WANT to walk with me throughout all the experiences, trials, joys and tribulations of life together, no matter what happens or what comes our way. And hope that I don't have a 'hit and run' man.. one's just looking for flings and no commitment. (Like my father admitted when he dated my mother and then found out I was on the way.)
I'm scared to death that I wouldn't be a good momma... but if I didn't worry about that, shouldn't that raise more red flags about my abilities and my mindset?
I've been dating Adam for three months now. Through conversation about the topic and seeing him interact with Austin once, I know that he'd be there for me in the future if we happened to have children. And I know that he would be a good daddy. This is the first relationship that I have had that I am feeling really good about and am truly excited to see where it takes us. Perhaps it's because I've decided that I am not hiding my wants, needs and desires anymore. Or maybe it's because I have a really good feeling about us? It's definitely a combination of the two; and a whole lot more!
Maybe the line should be revised to be not that, "The only guy that a girl can depend on is her daddy," but that, "The only thing that a girl can depend on to show her what she needs and desires from her future is her past?"
Monday, March 23, 2009
All I must say....
...is that I cannot WAIT to get my own computer again! Every time I go to open ANYTHING on the computer, one of my well meaning family members come in the room and want to peer at the screen and yack...
Not that I don't love my family, but jeez.. I haven't had a quiet moment to myself in a couple of weeks, and haven't had much of spoiling for awhile.. It takes a toll not to have quiet time.
In the period of typing those two small paragrahs, I was interrupted twice. And the TV is blaring so loud, I cannot even hear myself think. I think I am going to retire to my room for the night, and text/call Adam. Then, bury myself in a good movie, either romantic or comedic I'm not for sure yet...
Okay, my rant is done for now.. Now, back to your regularly scheduled surfing.
(Next entry, I'm going to pimp out a few of the bands that I've recently discovered. :) )
Not that I don't love my family, but jeez.. I haven't had a quiet moment to myself in a couple of weeks, and haven't had much of spoiling for awhile.. It takes a toll not to have quiet time.
In the period of typing those two small paragrahs, I was interrupted twice. And the TV is blaring so loud, I cannot even hear myself think. I think I am going to retire to my room for the night, and text/call Adam. Then, bury myself in a good movie, either romantic or comedic I'm not for sure yet...
Okay, my rant is done for now.. Now, back to your regularly scheduled surfing.
(Next entry, I'm going to pimp out a few of the bands that I've recently discovered. :) )
Can you help me vote on this please?
I just watched Steve-O (From Jackass, and WildBoys) dance his heart out on Dancing with the Stars and I think he needs all the help he can get from his fans!
Last week, he wasn't able to perform due to a back injury that he sustained during practice.. but his fans pulled him all the way through this week just with online and phone votes!!
You could tell that he was in major pain tonight, and he limped off the stage, but he took total guts to dance his heart out for his fans. Let's help the dude out and vote for him and Lacey Schwimmer!!
Each person can vote 12 times online, can you do that for me? Thanks everyone!!
http://ll.abc.go.com/primetime/dancingwiththestars/index?pn=vote09&v7
Voting only goes for another thirty minutes!
I don't usually do reality shows, but come on! It's Steve-0 and he gave it his all, you could tell!
Last week, he wasn't able to perform due to a back injury that he sustained during practice.. but his fans pulled him all the way through this week just with online and phone votes!!
You could tell that he was in major pain tonight, and he limped off the stage, but he took total guts to dance his heart out for his fans. Let's help the dude out and vote for him and Lacey Schwimmer!!
Each person can vote 12 times online, can you do that for me? Thanks everyone!!
http://ll.abc.go.com/primetime/dancingwiththestars/index?pn=vote09&v7
Voting only goes for another thirty minutes!
I don't usually do reality shows, but come on! It's Steve-0 and he gave it his all, you could tell!
Friday, March 20, 2009
After a bit of a hiatus,...
...I am back. I didn't realize just how much time had passed since my last post. It seems stimultaneously like just yesterday and a year since my last writing.
I was jarred back into thinking about my blog and my writings when I got a message from one of my readers just about fifteen minutes ago. I didn't think much about my blogging, and didn't think that in the grand scheme of everything online that it would be missed if I stopped. I know I'm just another bodiless being in the world wide internet universe.
But, I got this nice message on my myspace page from one of my dear readers. It may seem ordinary and bland to many people, but I was touched by it. I hope you don't mind my sharing, dear reader!
"Hey sweetie, its occurred to me that I haven't read a blog or spoke to you in a while so I thought I would come on here and say hey and see how you are doing.
Hope all is well!"
So, I will attempt to write more regularly again..although I cannot do the daily (or double daily) writing that I was doing before. My computer completely died at the end of January, which leaves me with the main computer in the house, at which I get zero privacy at most of the time. I really wish I could replace my computer, but alas the money situation doesn't seem to be loosening any time soon! And in this tight economy, I think I can come up with far more pressing matters to put my resources to, as I am sure all of my readers can understand!
Quick recap of the past two months:
I got promoted the first week of February-finally!! No longer am I a complete lowly sales associate in shoes! I am now the Jewelry Sales Coordinater, which is above the regular associates in the department and just below the department manager. I am learning her job, so in the future, who knows? I like it much better! Now, give me some music to work with and I'd be really happy!
Speaking of music, I've started going to some shows downtown. And, although it's only been two so far, I throughly enjoyed myself! So far, these bands are the ones that have entranced me:
Snow Demon http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=231223662
Admiral of the Black
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=379133833
Burnout
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=3167245
Valient Thorr
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=1325027
This development in my musical experiences wouldn't have been possible without my great boyfriend, Adam. Yes, I am still with the guy that I started dating in January. And I couldn't be happier! We are doing very well, at least I think so!
I've made a few good friends in my department, they started working for the company right when I transferred over to the Jewelry department. They are pretty rockin' chicks! Meredith and I plan on meeting for a show tomorrow night, and Sierra and I are working on starting a group to do paranormal investigations.
I was jarred back into thinking about my blog and my writings when I got a message from one of my readers just about fifteen minutes ago. I didn't think much about my blogging, and didn't think that in the grand scheme of everything online that it would be missed if I stopped. I know I'm just another bodiless being in the world wide internet universe.
But, I got this nice message on my myspace page from one of my dear readers. It may seem ordinary and bland to many people, but I was touched by it. I hope you don't mind my sharing, dear reader!
"Hey sweetie, its occurred to me that I haven't read a blog or spoke to you in a while so I thought I would come on here and say hey and see how you are doing.
Hope all is well!"
So, I will attempt to write more regularly again..although I cannot do the daily (or double daily) writing that I was doing before. My computer completely died at the end of January, which leaves me with the main computer in the house, at which I get zero privacy at most of the time. I really wish I could replace my computer, but alas the money situation doesn't seem to be loosening any time soon! And in this tight economy, I think I can come up with far more pressing matters to put my resources to, as I am sure all of my readers can understand!
Quick recap of the past two months:
I got promoted the first week of February-finally!! No longer am I a complete lowly sales associate in shoes! I am now the Jewelry Sales Coordinater, which is above the regular associates in the department and just below the department manager. I am learning her job, so in the future, who knows? I like it much better! Now, give me some music to work with and I'd be really happy!
Speaking of music, I've started going to some shows downtown. And, although it's only been two so far, I throughly enjoyed myself! So far, these bands are the ones that have entranced me:
Snow Demon http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=231223662
Admiral of the Black
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=379133833
Burnout
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=3167245
Valient Thorr
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=1325027
This development in my musical experiences wouldn't have been possible without my great boyfriend, Adam. Yes, I am still with the guy that I started dating in January. And I couldn't be happier! We are doing very well, at least I think so!
I've made a few good friends in my department, they started working for the company right when I transferred over to the Jewelry department. They are pretty rockin' chicks! Meredith and I plan on meeting for a show tomorrow night, and Sierra and I are working on starting a group to do paranormal investigations.
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