It's over, again. The off-on-off relationship I had with Jeff.
The first two years..was perfect, wonderful.
The first half of the third year..was okay. Long distance and hard, but we made it work..
The second half of the third year? That's when things went sour. Long distance doesn't work. He wanted me to move to Nebraska and into his mother's basement.
Without my family, friends, pets, etc. in another state. Uprooting myself for his mistakes. (Sound familiar to those readers who know about psycho preacher wanna-be?)
No. He refused to contemplate the same proposal that he gave me (just reversal of roles of who moved into the other's house. (and my name is ON this one..)
So, dear reader, you know all about the above from my blogs, (and more so if you are my best friends by the name of Joshua and Kimmy.)
Now, for the bitter update. ('Cause I need it out to continue forward.)
Last month he came into town to visit, which was blogged about. It was nice. More than nice, it was wonderful.
Then, he went back home. And started asking me about us, and what was my decision on us. There was no formal, "Let's try this again", or "Let's give us a shot again.". It was implied, yes.
Then, it boiled down to this past week.
He gave me an ultimatum about my decision about our relationship (though, I don't know why.. we're broken up and we know the long distance thing doesn't work).
He said I had to give him an answer by midnight last Tuesday night, and I wasn't done thinking about things, and quite honestly not sure why I had too. So, I sent him this shortly before midnight:
"1.) I can't believe you were actually serious about that stupid ultimatum. I think it's ridiculous to give anyone a time limit on something that big.. 2.)and I won't have an answer by the sound of your buzzer, so I guess the last thing I will say is that I love you." ('Cause I do, I love him deeply.)
I then signed off and went to bed, because I didn't really want to get into it ON MESSENGER and in the middle of the night.
What I received in an offline message on Wednesday morning was this: "Congratulations for once again showing me that you won't make any effort or concession for this relationship no matter how small. Have a nice fuckin' life without me."
So, I think I am done with the male species. I got to thinking about my relationship history, and I have only been the 'dumpee' once, and I've dated 8 separate guys. What does that say to you, dear reader, about my girl-friend attributes and dating participation?
I think it means that I suck at dating and being with someone. And not in a good way.
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11 comments:
If you wish to kick yourself... no one will be better at it than you. Shit does happen. And at one point or another you will do more with someone. Might not have been him. It might be someone else.
Hope is what you must have. And just smile. :D
you dont suck..men do its that simple xoxo love ya
I don't know you but... I don't think its all you. I just dealt with something similar. It sucks and honestly sometimes its for the best. Good luck to you. Don't let him make you feel guilty. :)
I agree, its not just you. I've been through the same exact thing. I Know it doesn't help knowing that, but atleast know you aren't alone in the heart ache. I hope the best for you hun :)
That's what he is kinda doing, making me feel like it's my fault things aren't working out. It sucks, 'cause on one hand I believe him, but on the other hand he wouldn't be 400 miles away if he had made some different (better) choices along the way.
FUCK HIM!! Seriously hun! you don't need that B***S*** in your LIFE! YOU CAN.....AND WILL DO BETTER THEN HIM!!!
:(
Got no answers for you, though I think you're trying way too hard to take all the blame for this on yourself when he seems to be doing all the pushing away.
*hugs*
Hey, I just read your blog and I just wanted to say for what its worth, I'm sorry. In all honesty, you will have a nice life without him, 'cause if he is gonna run his mouth like that, then its his loss and your gain. You don't deserve his childish attitude! You are only 24, I'm 26 and I don't even know what I'm gonna do or who I'm gonna be. When you see people married for 50 years and break up, then you see people being snobs by putting on their profiles: "Oh, I love so and so," making people who are single feel left out. You don't suck at dating you simply haven't met the right person. Some people don't like me cause I'm clingy, I want to be touched, hugged, etc. However, I don't force it on the person I'm dating. Some day, maybe, I will find someone whom I will connect with but I don't know cause only time will tell. Please do not give up, yes our race has its flaws, but it does have a lot of potential. There are some good people in this world, they are simply rare. Some day you may fall in love, you still have time, hun. Don't give up
bad for you but great for us whoo hoo another hottie back up for grabs lol muah
Read your blog about Jeff.
It was ridiculous for him to demand an answer by Tuesday
Why Tuesday, not Wednesday or Friday? Whats up with that?
If he loved you and made that ridiculous demand and he saw you weren't going to move to Nebraska he should have offered to move in with you
If that wasn't good enough then maybe you both could have moved somewhere else (neutral territory)
Don't worry its not you that sucks, its just the sucky people that find you
So I just read this - and when I get to his answer, I genuinely felt my jaw drop, and that doesn't happen to often. OMG - what a total asshole....I mean TOTAL....that is a deal breaker of all deal breakers. How sad people like him even get chances. Take care - you can do ALOT better...trust me.
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